offensive jokes *giggles* (quote)

Reznorslave · 04-11-2006, 11:59 PM

What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common?
They both come on little crackers!

Kirby Tails · 04-15-2006, 09:09 PM

So theres 3 guys that are standing at Heaven's Gates, when God shows up...

God says "Well, we're running low on space up here, so i have something new

im trying. Im going to ask you how long youve been with your wife, and how

many times youve cheated on her. then, i'll give you a car, based on your

answers."

The first guy says, "I've been married for 5 years, and cheated 10 times."

God is outraged and yells "TEN TIMES?! GEEZ!!! Your car is that piece of crap

25 year old Vovlo junk."

The second guy steps forward and says, " Well, I've been married 8 years, and

cheated 5 times."

God then says, "Not as bad, but still not good. Here, take this mid-condition

pick-up."

The third guy tells God, "I've been happily married 15 years, and never

cheated on my wife."

God is pleased and give the man a 2006 Dodge Viper.

....A few weeks later, the men with the crap cars find the man with the Viper

sitting on the side of the road crying. They ask him what happened, and he

says, "Well, I thought we were happily married, but she just rode by on a scooter."

mosesandtherubberducky · 04-15-2006, 09:16 PM

I don't get it.

~~bungalow~~ · 04-15-2006, 09:17 PM

The guy who never cheated had a wife who was given a scooter, because all the people who cheated got sh*t cars, his wife got a scooter....because she cheated on him....

Merkaba · 04-15-2006, 09:20 PM

That wasn't a bad one. I liked it.

TrampInaTux · 04-16-2006, 03:47 AM

As a spokesperson for Jews everywhere (even though I'm not Jewish) I'd like to say...

**** you.

right-track · 04-16-2006, 04:02 AM

hiu...I'll put that one down to bad taste.

Deep breaths hobo...deep breaths.

~~hiu~~ · 04-16-2006, 04:20 AM

The thread is called Offensive Jokes afterall.

right-track · 04-16-2006, 04:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hiu

The thread is called Offensive Jokes afterall.

Which is fine...until someone gets offended.

Jokes are meant to be funny and there's nothing funny about the Holocaust.

TrampInaTux · 04-16-2006, 04:49 AM

Why did the girl fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

Why did the girl fall off the running machine?

Because she had no legs.

Why did the girl fall off the bike?

Because I threw a fridge at her.

04-15-2006, 09:16 PM	#193 (permalink)
mosesandtherubberducky butt say x Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: so i read the question as "Where YOU live" which was kinda funny instead of "Where you live" Posts: 1,649	I don't get it. __________________ Can I have a youtube video for a sig? There's a thing that says "Wrap [YOUTUBE] tags around selected text"

04-15-2006, 09:20 PM	#195 (permalink)
Merkaba Whitewater! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: New Zealand Posts: 2,885	That wasn't a bad one. I liked it. __________________ She thinks I'm a reclusive genius, she's going to be very disappointed when she finds out i'm a reclusive wanker

04-11-2006, 11:59 PM	#191 (permalink)
Reznorslave The Perfect Drug Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: A Warm Place Posts: 287	What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little crackers!

04-15-2006, 09:09 PM	#192 (permalink)
Kirby Tails Groupie Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Uh...where don't I live? o.o Posts: 1	So theres 3 guys that are standing at Heaven's Gates, when God shows up... God says "Well, we're running low on space up here, so i have something new im trying. Im going to ask you how long youve been with your wife, and how many times youve cheated on her. then, i'll give you a car, based on your answers." The first guy says, "I've been married for 5 years, and cheated 10 times." God is outraged and yells "TEN TIMES?! GEEZ!!! Your car is that piece of crap 25 year old Vovlo junk." The second guy steps forward and says, " Well, I've been married 8 years, and cheated 5 times." God then says, "Not as bad, but still not good. Here, take this mid-condition pick-up." The third guy tells God, "I've been happily married 15 years, and never cheated on my wife." God is pleased and give the man a 2006 Dodge Viper. ....A few weeks later, the men with the crap cars find the man with the Viper sitting on the side of the road crying. They ask him what happened, and he says, "Well, I thought we were happily married, but she just rode by on a scooter."

04-15-2006, 09:17 PM	#194 (permalink)
~~bungalow~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Hot-lanta Posts: 3,140	The guy who never cheated had a wife who was given a scooter, because all the people who cheated got sh*t cars, his wife got a scooter....because she cheated on him....

04-16-2006, 03:47 AM	#196 (permalink)
TrampInaTux that's my war face. Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,418	As a spokesperson for Jews everywhere (even though I'm not Jewish) I'd like to say... **** you.

04-16-2006, 04:02 AM	#197 (permalink)
right-track Atchin' Akai Join Date: May 2005 Location: Unamerica Posts: 8,723	hiu...I'll put that one down to bad taste. Deep breaths hobo...deep breaths.

04-16-2006, 04:20 AM	#198 (permalink)
~~hiu~~ Account Disabled Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 1,174	The thread is called Offensive Jokes afterall.

04-16-2006, 04:49 AM	#200 (permalink)
TrampInaTux that's my war face. Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,418	Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did the girl fall off the running machine? Because she had no legs. Why did the girl fall off the bike? Because I threw a fridge at her.