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Old 02-07-2018, 12:14 PM   #1 (permalink)
Just Keep Swimming...
 
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Old 02-07-2018, 01:08 PM   #2 (permalink)
Remember the underscore
 
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Me as a toddler (which wasn't so long ago):

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Tim."

"Tim who?"

"TIMBITS!!!"
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Old 02-07-2018, 02:13 PM   #3 (permalink)
Born to be mild
 
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What did one Horseman of the Apocalypse say to the other Horseman of the Apocalypse when he looked sad and down?

"Cheer up, pal! It's not the end of the world!"
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Old 02-07-2018, 02:15 PM   #4 (permalink)
Zum Henker Defätist!!
 
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Not a joke.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 02-07-2018, 02:18 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Old 02-08-2018, 02:49 PM   #6 (permalink)
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What did the park ranger say to the kid when he saw him running off with a bunch of leaves in his coat?

"OI! Bring them back! You think they grow on trees?"
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Old 03-11-2018, 03:45 PM   #7 (permalink)
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A young woman goes to the doctor, says "Doctor, I have this terrible pain once a month, and I feel like I'm in Victorian England." Doctor nods, smiles and says not to worry. "That's just period pain," he tells her.
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Old 02-08-2018, 10:03 AM   #8 (permalink)
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As promised, another gem from my birthday joke book.

What do you call floss?

A loss!
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WWWP is pretty but should be cancelled (digital blackface)

#DEMODFROWNLAND
#TERMLIMITSFORMODERATORS
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Old 02-08-2018, 02:56 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wolverinewolfweiselpigeon View Post
As promised, another gem from my birthday joke book.

What do you call floss?

A loss!
Were his feelings hurt when you told him how unfunny he is?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 02-08-2018, 02:58 PM   #10 (permalink)
SOPHIE FOREVER
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Batlord View Post
Were his feelings hurt when you told him how unfunny he is?
*whoosh*
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