Make The Batlord Do Stuff
 

You know those old text adventure games where you have to type in commands to get a character to perform actions and go on some quest? And there's little to no explanation of what your objective is, where you are, how to do anything, no graphics, etc?

Well this is The Batlord version.

Rules:

1.) I can only perform a single action at a time (i.e. no "do this, and then this, and then this" actions).

2.) The first person to post will be the only one I respond to at any given time.

3.) If I can not perform the action, you're SOL. The next poster after my response still gets dibs, even if it's not you.

Let's do this...


The Batlord wakes up. He is lying in bed in a dark room.

What does he do now?

fap

going for realism here

The Batlord faps to your mother. The Batlord cums. It tastes salty.

What does he do now?

Faps

Attempt unsuccessful. The Batlord is not a machine.

What does he do now?

Faps

The Batlord passes out from exhaustion.

The Batlord wakes up with a sore arm. He is lying in bed in a dark room.

What does he do now?

Cries over his pointless life.

The Batlord attempts sorrow, but knows only glory.

He is lying in bed in a dark room.

What does he do now?

fap