Crimes Against Music

Guybrush · 12-17-2010, 05:23 PM

Music is an art. Some artists have integrity and produce works of great, if arguable, artistic values. Some, often overly produced by labels, are only out after the cash in your wallet. This thread is dedicated to the bands, artists and projects whose mere existence only cheapens the overall quality of music in the world, the criminals of the musical world. Instead of this being simply a rant thread, I'm hoping some of you guys will help expose these wrongdoers to the rest of the world.

Pan Flute Cover Albums

I'll start off with pan flute covers. I recently found one of these CDs in my parents-in-law's car. They denied ownership of course. So what's the background here? It seems like some record labels, possibly exploiting poor pan-flute playing peoples living in the Andes, pump out these crappy cover albums. They're typically marketed as being particularly soothing for the soul, a stark contrast to the grating effect it has on mine. Judging by the insane amount there are of these albums, producing them must be cheap and artists are possibly payed for with marbles and mirrors. For reasons I can't fully understand, there seems to be a (large) market for these albums. In this country, much of that market seems to come from out of the way gas stations or possibly in stores selling incense and dream catchers to the gullible. I figure the target group are people with no taste who are simply immune to embarassment.

A typical song one might find on such a cover CD is Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On, although any 60s/70s/80s/90s hit could be covered (although usually not later than that since pan flute artists generally lag behind the mainstream in music), particularly the soppy ballads.

To the people who buy this sort of stuff, if you wanna listen to My Heart Will Go On .. Why don't you go get a Celine Dion album?

clutnuckle · 12-17-2010, 05:29 PM

This thread is bound to attract a lot of unnecessary attention from people who will claim that every radio-bound artist is a money-hungry monster, but I think the true point of the thread is quite good.

Most cover albums, if not done by those who were influenced by the band, are pretty much easy-to-spot cash-grabs.

**Janszoon** · 12-17-2010, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tore

Man, I can very vividly imagine what "Bridge Over Troubled Water" would sound like on pan flute.

Guybrush · 12-17-2010, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by clutnuckle

This thread is bound to attract a lot of unnecessary attention from people who will claim that every radio-bound artist is a money-hungry monster, but I think the true point of the thread is quite good.

Most cover albums, if not done by those who were influenced by the band, are pretty much easy-to-spot cash-grabs.

I'm intending this to be about more general things than specific bands, although some bands will fit right in here I'm sure. I hope people will get the point.

Another example of a frequent crime against music is of course ..

Christmas Albums

There are some bands and artists that make very real attempts at making quality holiday albums, for example Carpenter's Christmas Portrait from 1978. However, most of them are probably just really hungry for a buck. Instead of catering to loyal fans, the aging rock stars you used to love have suddenly abandoned all artistic integrity in an attempt at whoring themselves to your mom and other gullibles willing to spend money on such crap. Billy Idol seen in the picture above is, unfortunately, only one example out of many.

.. And I used to think he was cool.

In the last vid, they've snuck in a bit of their hit "We're Not Gonna Take It" too - and it ends with Hava Nagila. Ugh

**Janszoon** · 12-17-2010, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tore

.. And I used to think he was cool.

I've seen this before and it is probably lamest, most awful thing I've ever seen by a musician that I like. Why, Billy? Why?

Dayvan Cowboy · 12-17-2010, 06:03 PM

I've got one for you. It's a crime against Math Rock and all of the other instrumental music with weird time signatures. Now, I present to you:

Dayvan Cowboy's Boring Rant On Modern Day (unoriginal) Math Rawk

Now, I'm guessing that all of you guys have heard at least one math rock song, and I'm praying that the song you listened to was by the earlier math rawk bands like Hella or Don Cab. If you haven't listen to this. It's widely accepted as the best math song ever.

Now, onto my rant. I've been noticing a lot of VERY bland modern math rock bands. I mean, what happened to the late nineties/early 2000's Math scene? IT was jolly, it was careless, and it was different. Now, I'm hearing terrible Hella clones and blatant Don Cab ripoffs. Hell, even Don Cab has become a rip-off of themselves. Now, where are all of the good math rock bands? they're overshadowed by drooling idiots who think they're edgy for sounding EXACTLY like Tera Melos. honestly, just stop it.

How do we stop this? Make Battles go back to making math rock, get Ian Williams and Erich Ehm back into Don Cab, get Storm&Stress back together again, Teach Math Rockers to play TOTALLY INDIE LOL instruments with unique sounds and try to not copy Hold Your Horse Is for the billionth time. Honestly, I'm sick of this. Every time you make another boring math rock album, Ian Williams cries. Please think of poor Ian! STOP THE MADNESS!

here's a comparison between good math rock and bad:

NOT GOOD

THE IMPROV GENIUS OF IAN WILLIAMS!

thomasracer56 · 12-17-2010, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janszoon

I've seen this before and it is probably lamest, most awful thing I've ever seen by a musician that I like. Why, Billy? Why?

Agreed. I watched "Jingle Bell Rock" on Youtube because my BlackBerry can't upload the video from the site when it's from this site.

Just horrible.

Guybrush · 12-17-2010, 06:30 PM

Bands/artists Selling the Same Song Over And Over And Over

Quite a few groups are able to pull this off. What they do is they make a single which charts .. and then, sometime later, they make another single that sounds pretty much like the first and that also charts. If they're good, they can keep going for longer.

A good example of such a group is Rednex, although calling them a group might be misleading as (afaik) it's actually a project owned by a record label which then hires people to fill the roles in the band. At least there's no integrity to worry about!

Check out these three songs and see how similar they are. Unfortunately, these all sold well in Scandinavia - and probably elsewhere too. As much as it horrifies, the way which they are able to economically exploit our world's moronic consumers is also strangely impressive.

Notice how the basic refrain melody is the same in all these Rednex singles. The video in the middle (Old Pop In An Oak) has been sped up slightly (Sony has gotten the better versions removed from youtube). If it hadn't, I think it would've been in the same key as the others. Whether you're now horrified or strangely impressed, this most definetly qualifies as a crime against music!

**Janszoon** · 12-17-2010, 06:50 PM

^I don't think the third one sounds the same but I hear what you're saying with the second one. The funny thing is that they didn't even write the refrain to "Cotton-Eyed Joe" anyway, as it's taken from an old folk song of the same name.

Guybrush · 12-17-2010, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janszoon

^I don't think the third one sounds the same but I hear what you're saying with the second one. The funny thing is that they didn't even write the refrain to "Cotton-Eyed Joe" anyway, as it's taken from an old folk song of the same name.

For a quick comparison, check out how they sing the words "old pop in an oak" in the song by the same name and compare that to the way they sing "the way I mate" from the third vid and it's pretty much the same. Some of the verse stuff later on is a bit different though, I'll give them that.

12-17-2010, 05:23 PM	#1 (permalink)
Guybrush Juicious Maximus III Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Scabb Island Posts: 6,525	Crimes Against Music Music is an art. Some artists have integrity and produce works of great, if arguable, artistic values. Some, often overly produced by labels, are only out after the cash in your wallet. This thread is dedicated to the bands, artists and projects whose mere existence only cheapens the overall quality of music in the world, the criminals of the musical world. Instead of this being simply a rant thread, I'm hoping some of you guys will help expose these wrongdoers to the rest of the world. Pan Flute Cover Albums I'll start off with pan flute covers. I recently found one of these CDs in my parents-in-law's car. They denied ownership of course. So what's the background here? It seems like some record labels, possibly exploiting poor pan-flute playing peoples living in the Andes, pump out these crappy cover albums. They're typically marketed as being particularly soothing for the soul, a stark contrast to the grating effect it has on mine. Judging by the insane amount there are of these albums, producing them must be cheap and artists are possibly payed for with marbles and mirrors. For reasons I can't fully understand, there seems to be a (large) market for these albums. In this country, much of that market seems to come from out of the way gas stations or possibly in stores selling incense and dream catchers to the gullible. I figure the target group are people with no taste who are simply immune to embarassment. A typical song one might find on such a cover CD is Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On, although any 60s/70s/80s/90s hit could be covered (although usually not later than that since pan flute artists generally lag behind the mainstream in music), particularly the soppy ballads. To the people who buy this sort of stuff, if you wanna listen to My Heart Will Go On .. Why don't you go get a Celine Dion album? __________________ Something Completely Different

12-17-2010, 06:03 PM	#6 (permalink)
Dayvan Cowboy Basscadet Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Antarctica Posts: 1,258	I've got one for you. It's a crime against Math Rock and all of the other instrumental music with weird time signatures. Now, I present to you: Dayvan Cowboy's Boring Rant On Modern Day (unoriginal) Math Rawk Now, I'm guessing that all of you guys have heard at least one math rock song, and I'm praying that the song you listened to was by the earlier math rawk bands like Hella or Don Cab. If you haven't listen to this. It's widely accepted as the best math song ever. Now, onto my rant. I've been noticing a lot of VERY bland modern math rock bands. I mean, what happened to the late nineties/early 2000's Math scene? IT was jolly, it was careless, and it was different. Now, I'm hearing terrible Hella clones and blatant Don Cab ripoffs. Hell, even Don Cab has become a rip-off of themselves. Now, where are all of the good math rock bands? they're overshadowed by drooling idiots who think they're edgy for sounding EXACTLY like Tera Melos. honestly, just stop it. How do we stop this? Make Battles go back to making math rock, get Ian Williams and Erich Ehm back into Don Cab, get Storm&Stress back together again, Teach Math Rockers to play TOTALLY INDIE LOL instruments with unique sounds and try to not copy Hold Your Horse Is for the billionth time. Honestly, I'm sick of this. Every time you make another boring math rock album, Ian Williams cries. Please think of poor Ian! STOP THE MADNESS! here's a comparison between good math rock and bad: NOT GOOD THE IMPROV GENIUS OF IAN WILLIAMS! Last edited by Dayvan Cowboy; 12-17-2010 at 06:11 PM.

12-17-2010, 06:30 PM	#8 (permalink)
Guybrush Juicious Maximus III Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Scabb Island Posts: 6,525	Bands/artists Selling the Same Song Over And Over And Over Quite a few groups are able to pull this off. What they do is they make a single which charts .. and then, sometime later, they make another single that sounds pretty much like the first and that also charts. If they're good, they can keep going for longer. A good example of such a group is Rednex, although calling them a group might be misleading as (afaik) it's actually a project owned by a record label which then hires people to fill the roles in the band. At least there's no integrity to worry about! Check out these three songs and see how similar they are. Unfortunately, these all sold well in Scandinavia - and probably elsewhere too. As much as it horrifies, the way which they are able to economically exploit our world's moronic consumers is also strangely impressive. Notice how the basic refrain melody is the same in all these Rednex singles. The video in the middle (Old Pop In An Oak) has been sped up slightly (Sony has gotten the better versions removed from youtube). If it hadn't, I think it would've been in the same key as the others. Whether you're now horrified or strangely impressed, this most definetly qualifies as a crime against music! __________________ Something Completely Different

12-17-2010, 06:50 PM	#9 (permalink)
Janszoon Mate, Spawn & Die Join Date: May 2007 Location: The Rapping Community Posts: 24,593	^I don't think the third one sounds the same but I hear what you're saying with the second one. The funny thing is that they didn't even write the refrain to "Cotton-Eyed Joe" anyway, as it's taken from an old folk song of the same name. __________________ A Night in the Life of the Invisible Man Time & Place 25 Albums You Should Hear Before the Moon Crashes into the Earth and We All Die last.fm

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12-17-2010, 05:29 PM	#2 (permalink)
clutnuckle Music Addict Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: -_-_-_-_~__~-~_-`_`-~_-`-~-~ Posts: 1,276	This thread is bound to attract a lot of unnecessary attention from people who will claim that every radio-bound artist is a money-hungry monster, but I think the true point of the thread is quite good. Most cover albums, if not done by those who were influenced by the band, are pretty much easy-to-spot cash-grabs.