The Torture Chamber

Ninetales · 10-13-2015, 03:23 PM

yo ill join this. curious as to what people will think id hate.

Traveling_Alone · 10-13-2015, 03:28 PM

I'll give it a go, too. I know I'm new here so I'll give you guys an idea of my taste...

Love: Americana, country, folk, singer-songwriter, metal, and indie.
Not a fan of: Ska, so-so on Reggae, and not generally a fan of stuff labled electronica here.

Oh, and my absolute least favorite is dubstep.

Oriphiel · 10-13-2015, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ninetales

yo ill join this. curious as to what people will think id hate.

I'm gonna take a chance, and challenge you to listen to this:

http://www.discogs.com/Gravedigger-V...elease/1515660

Oriphiel · 10-13-2015, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Traveling_Alone

I'll give it a go, too. I know I'm new here so I'll give you guys an idea of my taste...

Love: Americana, country, folk, singer-songwriter, metal, and indie.
Not a fan of: Ska, so-so on Reggae, and not generally a fan of stuff labled electronica here.

Oh, and my absolute least favorite is dubstep.

Instead of giving you dubstep, I'll give you this instead... Muhahahaha!

http://www.discogs.com/Chesterfield-.../master/185926

Thelonious Monkey · 10-13-2015, 04:08 PM

I'll join too.

Like: Heavy Metal, Hip Hop/Rap and Electronic

Dislike: Psychedelia and that's really it. I've never really listened to an album I have considered torture. You would probably just have to test me. I know for a fact there is a lot I wouldn't be able to sit through, but I never really seek them out to listen.

Trollheart · 10-13-2015, 04:44 PM

All youse guyses is addeds. I'll haves to thinks of whats to tortures youse withs later.

Feel free to add to my list.

Trollheart · 10-13-2015, 05:07 PM

Title: Five Men Singing
Artiste: Jaap Blonk, Koichi Makigami, Paul Dutton, Phil Minton and David Moss
Genre: Um, male choral?
Evil Bastard: Grindy

This one I watched Batty suffer through in his other thread. He did not seem impressed. Let's see how far I can get. Well, nothing at all for thirty seconds, fifty, one minute ... I think I can hear something rise slowly (stop that!) and now yes there are definite male voices coming through, but we're almost two minutes into the seven and a half run of the first song, appropriately enough perhaps titled “No drone rising”. Kind of sounds like a load of ghosts at the moment. I ain't fraid of no ghost! Reckon they're starting me off easy. Other voices either joining now or splitting off from the main melody, which kind of sounds now like a jet engine starting up, though one or two of these guys sound like they badly need the toilet! Falling back now, very quiet before they come back in with various sound and howls and moans. Up to the fourth minute now and some screeches and what sounds like a dog barking? Wolf howling? I'm going to assume there are no instruments on this, other than the voices. Think Donald Duck just entered, or someone's in the bath maybe. Now a cat is attacking the duck. Run, duck! Run! One more minute to go. Oh, someone's having a fit or is possessed by demons. Think I heard someone laugh. Oh and a cartoon voice too. Cool. And everyone goes mad as someone speaks normally. On to track two, “Cappa”, where someone who is obviously an Islamic terrorist sings “Figaro” on his own. Kind of sounds like that guy from the “Mahna mahna” Muppet song, and now he's a siren. Someone farted, someone laughed, and now there's actually some kind of melody developing. Oh, someone fell off a cliff. It's Mork: I heard him cry “Nanu nanu” as he went over.

Was this album issued under the auspices of the offices of the Ministry of Silly Voices? No? “Quiet neighbours moaning” is a great title. Sounds like they're horses that live next door though! Someone's drowning a police man and a duck! Well the next one is only a minute long but that's a false hope as the one after it is nine! There sure are a lot of cats fighting in this track; I had to twice check it wasn't my three attacking each other. Fat chance! They're all asleep. “Six cobbings”. What the holy **** is a cobbing, much less six of them? I see the writer's name is Cobbing. Maybe that's it. Who cares? More shouting, some sort of hallelujah chorus or something and ah **** it! Discogs lied to me! They said this was one minute, it's nearly seven! Bastards! Oh well, I won't let it beat me. Maybe.

Here come the cats again, and some angry giant walking over the hill with a bad chest cold. Oh and some oriental gentlemen. Still cobbing, people. One ****ing minute my arse! More cats fighting. Now they're howling at the moon. And now for the nine-minute one. I'm considering jacking it in at this stage but am determined to stay the course, George! “Haiku sonic” does not fill me with confidence however. Someone get that man to a toilet, for Christ's sake! Did he fall in? I don't know, but here come a crowd of zombies searching for brains. Urrrggh! Brains! Ah, well that's it: I warned yaz to get him to the toilet and now look what's happened. Tsk. Who's gonna clean that up? Oh, I think I just heard the guy who got the job (4:36)! Looks like Darth Vader is paying us a visit too. And mice! Where are those cats when you need them, huh? Well that's over so we're though the longest one and halfway there.

The only way I can actually attempt to make it through this is to keep making humorous comments about how the music sounds. I can't imagine anyone listening to this for pleasure, but to each his own. At least “Ten tones high” (and how I wish I was!) is only five minutes long, though it seems longer. Ghosts are back, haunting the place. Operatic voice is my least favourite of all singing voices. Stop it. Sounds like someone's kicking the **** out of someone else now. Hey this has gone by rather quickly, thank the metal gods. Someone really needs to control that flatulence, it's upsetting the Japanese gentleman. Oh. THERE are the cats! Let's have a Native American chant! No? Well, at least this is only three minutes long. Getting better. Someone's talking and scaring Porky the Pig I think. Tarzan is upset. Honestly, it's like listening to one of those old Czechoslovakian (ah you're too young kid!) cartoons we used to have to suffer here in Ireland. Christ knows why they showed them: probably piss cheap. The most incomprehensible and unfunny cartoons ever. Oh look: someone's applauding them. Maybe because it's the end of the track. Probably not though.

Next one is four minutes, and they call it “Nosing a round”, though it sounds like a load of Beakers from The Muppet Show are gathering for their AGM. Lord this is painful. Be strong, Trollheart! Be strong. Hey it's over, and we've only two to go. Mind you, they are eight minutes and seven. Still, I'm not gonna fall this close to the finish line! Ah sounds like Tarzan has recovered and is off swingin' through the trees, pursued by King Kong it would appear. Hmm. Someone said “We should probably (but I missed the last word)”. Pity it wasn't we should probably finish up now.

And now the finish line is in sight! I don't' ****ing care how bad this gets, I'm sticking with it. Eyes on the prize, dude, eyes on the prize! Do your worst, five annoying men who are so far from singing it's not true. I laugh at your efforts. Oh, now you're singing, are you? Well I've waded through your **** for the last hour and I don't care what the hell you do. I've heard burping, farting, screaming, screeching, puking and every other ing you can think of. You hold no more fear for me. Pah! I deride your singing abilities, you non-singing men! I wave my private parts in your general direction! Your father was a mule, and your mother smelt of elderberries! Etc.

My god, there's applause at the end! Well I never. Etc. Maybe I should take a bow. Thank you, thank you, you're too kind, it was nothing. Well, obviously it was something. Bloody endurance test is what it was!

Out of here. Done. Praise Trollheart for he has come through the fire unscathed. Your score: a big fat zero!

Traveling_Alone · 10-13-2015, 05:26 PM

Does anyone have a link for the Chesterfield Kings album? I can find a handful of songs here and there, but not the album in its entirety. Even came up blank on Spotify.

The Batlord · 10-13-2015, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oriphiel

1. Winter Wonderland - Oh dear god. This sounds like the crap that restaurants play when they want to seem "classy" during the holidays.

It literally is the music that businesses play during the holidays. Seriously.

Quote:

Perhaps his music is a blessing in disguise... in time, as he continues to violate every human tradition and holiday, the various cultures of the world will have a common ground from which they can finally stand united; a hatred for Kenny G.

This has already occurred. I have no idea how you've gone your whole life without knowing who Kenny G is, but everyone else already knows and hates him. I really don't know how he makes money.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart

My god, there's applause at the end! Well I never. Etc. Maybe I should take a bow. Thank you, thank you, you're too kind, it was nothing. Well, obviously it was something. Bloody endurance test is what it was!

There's applause because this was a live album. Say what you want about them, but those five guys were just doing that in a live setting for the duration of the album. Respect.

Oriphiel · 10-13-2015, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Traveling_Alone

Does anyone have a link for the Chesterfield Kings album? I can find a handful of songs here and there, but not the album in its entirety. Even came up blank on Spotify.

I believe all of the songs from the album are included in this playlist, scattered about with other songs from the band:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNBn...fRUaqHhOddMt7I

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord

This has already occurred. I have no idea how you've gone your whole life without knowing who Kenny G is, but everyone else already knows and hates him. I really don't know how he makes money.

I can see why people dislike him. That album was very, very, very boring.

10-13-2015, 04:44 PM	#56 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,970	All youse guyses is addeds. I'll haves to thinks of whats to tortures youse withs later. Feel free to add to my list. __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

10-13-2015, 05:07 PM	#57 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,970	Title: Five Men Singing Artiste: Jaap Blonk, Koichi Makigami, Paul Dutton, Phil Minton and David Moss Genre: Um, male choral? Evil Bastard: Grindy This one I watched Batty suffer through in his other thread. He did not seem impressed. Let's see how far I can get. Well, nothing at all for thirty seconds, fifty, one minute ... I think I can hear something rise slowly (stop that!) and now yes there are definite male voices coming through, but we're almost two minutes into the seven and a half run of the first song, appropriately enough perhaps titled “No drone rising”. Kind of sounds like a load of ghosts at the moment. I ain't fraid of no ghost! Reckon they're starting me off easy. Other voices either joining now or splitting off from the main melody, which kind of sounds now like a jet engine starting up, though one or two of these guys sound like they badly need the toilet! Falling back now, very quiet before they come back in with various sound and howls and moans. Up to the fourth minute now and some screeches and what sounds like a dog barking? Wolf howling? I'm going to assume there are no instruments on this, other than the voices. Think Donald Duck just entered, or someone's in the bath maybe. Now a cat is attacking the duck. Run, duck! Run! One more minute to go. Oh, someone's having a fit or is possessed by demons. Think I heard someone laugh. Oh and a cartoon voice too. Cool. And everyone goes mad as someone speaks normally. On to track two, “Cappa”, where someone who is obviously an Islamic terrorist sings “Figaro” on his own. Kind of sounds like that guy from the “Mahna mahna” Muppet song, and now he's a siren. Someone farted, someone laughed, and now there's actually some kind of melody developing. Oh, someone fell off a cliff. It's Mork: I heard him cry “Nanu nanu” as he went over. Was this album issued under the auspices of the offices of the Ministry of Silly Voices? No? “Quiet neighbours moaning” is a great title. Sounds like they're horses that live next door though! Someone's drowning a police man and a duck! Well the next one is only a minute long but that's a false hope as the one after it is nine! There sure are a lot of cats fighting in this track; I had to twice check it wasn't my three attacking each other. Fat chance! They're all asleep. “Six cobbings”. What the holy ** is a cobbing, much less six of them? I see the writer's name is Cobbing. Maybe that's it. Who cares? More shouting, some sort of hallelujah chorus or something and ah it! Discogs lied to me! They said this was one minute, it's nearly seven! Bastards! Oh well, I won't let it beat me. Maybe. Here come the cats again, and some angry giant walking over the hill with a bad chest cold. Oh and some oriental gentlemen. Still cobbing, people. One ing minute my arse! More cats fighting. Now they're howling at the moon. And now for the nine-minute one. I'm considering jacking it in at this stage but am determined to stay the course, George! “Haiku sonic” does not fill me with confidence however. Someone get that man to a toilet, for Christ's sake! Did he fall in? I don't know, but here come a crowd of zombies searching for brains. Urrrggh! Brains! Ah, well that's it: I warned yaz to get him to the toilet and now look what's happened. Tsk. Who's gonna clean that up? Oh, I think I just heard the guy who got the job (4:36)! Looks like Darth Vader is paying us a visit too. And mice! Where are those cats when you need them, huh? Well that's over so we're though the longest one and halfway there. The only way I can actually attempt to make it through this is to keep making humorous comments about how the music sounds. I can't imagine anyone listening to this for pleasure, but to each his own. At least “Ten tones high” (and how I wish I was!) is only five minutes long, though it seems longer. Ghosts are back, haunting the place. Operatic voice is my least favourite of all singing voices. Stop it. Sounds like someone's kicking the out of someone else now. Hey this has gone by rather quickly, thank the metal gods. Someone really needs to control that flatulence, it's upsetting the Japanese gentleman. Oh. THERE are the cats! Let's have a Native American chant! No? Well, at least this is only three minutes long. Getting better. Someone's talking and scaring Porky the Pig I think. Tarzan is upset. Honestly, it's like listening to one of those old Czechoslovakian (ah you're too young kid!) cartoons we used to have to suffer here in Ireland. Christ knows why they showed them: probably piss cheap. The most incomprehensible and unfunny cartoons ever. Oh look: someone's applauding them. Maybe because it's the end of the track. Probably not though. Next one is four minutes, and they call it “Nosing a round”, though it sounds like a load of Beakers from The Muppet Show are gathering for their AGM. Lord this is painful. Be strong, Trollheart! Be strong. Hey it's over, and we've only two to go. Mind you, they are eight minutes and seven. Still, I'm not gonna fall this close to the finish line! Ah sounds like Tarzan has recovered and is off swingin' through the trees, pursued by King Kong it would appear. Hmm. Someone said “We should probably (but I missed the last word)”. Pity it wasn't we should probably finish up now. And now the finish line is in sight! I don't' ing care how bad this gets, I'm sticking with it. Eyes on the prize, dude, eyes on the prize! Do your worst, five annoying men who are so far from singing it's not true. I laugh at your efforts. Oh, now you're singing, are you? Well I've waded through your ** for the last hour and I don't care what the hell you do. I've heard burping, farting, screaming, screeching, puking and every other ing you can think of. You hold no more fear for me. Pah! I deride your singing abilities, you non-singing men! I wave my private parts in your general direction! Your father was a mule, and your mother smelt of elderberries! Etc. My god, there's applause at the end! Well I never. Etc. Maybe I should take a bow. Thank you, thank you, you're too kind, it was nothing. Well, obviously it was something. Bloody endurance test is what it was! Out of here. Done. Praise Trollheart for he has come through the fire unscathed. Your score: a big fat zero! __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

10-13-2015, 03:23 PM	#51 (permalink)
Ninetales Music Addict Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: livin wild Posts: 2,179	yo ill join this. curious as to what people will think id hate.

10-13-2015, 03:28 PM	#52 (permalink)
Traveling_Alone Music Addict Join Date: Sep 2015 Location: GA Posts: 93	I'll give it a go, too. I know I'm new here so I'll give you guys an idea of my taste... Love: Americana, country, folk, singer-songwriter, metal, and indie. Not a fan of: Ska, so-so on Reggae, and not generally a fan of stuff labled electronica here. Oh, and my absolute least favorite is dubstep.

10-13-2015, 04:08 PM	#55 (permalink)
Thelonious Monkey Caesar is home. Join Date: Sep 2014 Posts: 876	I'll join too. Like: Heavy Metal, Hip Hop/Rap and Electronic Dislike: Psychedelia and that's really it. I've never really listened to an album I have considered torture. You would probably just have to test me. I know for a fact there is a lot I wouldn't be able to sit through, but I never really seek them out to listen.

10-13-2015, 05:26 PM	#58 (permalink)
Traveling_Alone Music Addict Join Date: Sep 2015 Location: GA Posts: 93	Does anyone have a link for the Chesterfield Kings album? I can find a handful of songs here and there, but not the album in its entirety. Even came up blank on Spotify.