Let's do this.

Do you remember the first time you were drunk? What happened?

You can live in any place in the world, where is it?

Tell us a joke

Ketchup - cupboard or fridge?

Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion?

Name one bad habit you have

bang bang

Do you remember the first time you were drunk? What happened?

I was 8 when I stole one of my dad's beers. It was just one beer but I was out of it. I just hung out in my room all night after.

You can live in any place in the world, where is it?

Somewhere where I can see the northern lights and get good herb so Canada?

Tell us a joke

Porcupine Tree

Ketchup - cupboard or fridge?

Cupboard (Americans are paranoid af about spoilage and Big Refrigerator laughs at them from their mansions)

Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion?

Probably neither, but I guess I'd have more of a chance with a lion.

Name one bad habit you have

Drinking.

Do you remember the first time you were drunk? What happened?

Happened a few weeks ago, so yes. I became ridiculously random and felt ridiculously sick the next day.

You can live in any place in the world, where is it?

Right now, Cuba sounds pretty enticing. I'm happy in Canada though.

Tell us a joke

How long is a Chinaman?

Ketchup - cupboard or fridge?

Cupboard until the bottle is opened. Then fridge.

Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion?

Can't say I've ever encountered a lion outside a cage, and the only wild bear I've seen was rather sleepy (thankfully). I'd put my money on the bear if it was a polar or a grizzly.

Name one bad habit you have

I bite my nails.

Do you remember the first time you were drunk? What happened?

To be honest it was probably one of those family gathering events, in a large room and pretty dark. I guess nothing much happened. The first time I got really drunk was on holiday when I was about 13 (possibly Tunisia?). Free alcohol and they seemed to serve anyone who asked. My first experience of a spinning room.

You can live in any place in the world, where is it?

USA for sure.

Tell us a joke

What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.

Ketchup - cupboard or fridge?

We just kinda put it on the side. So not refrigerated.

Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion?

Probably a Lion. Faster.

Name one bad habit you have

I chew my fingernails. Sometimes to the point where I draw blood.

Do you remember the first time you were drunk? What happened?

Military school, probably around fifteen or sixteen. My roommate at the time had a water bottle filled with vodka and he shared it with me (we kind of hated each other, so I imagine he just wanted to see what would happen more than anything). I wasn't truly wasted, but I was definitely noticeably intoxicated.

You can live in any place in the world, where is it?

Some tropical island where nothing happens and I can spend the rest of my days smoking weed and drinking beer on the beach behind my shack.

Tell us a joke

What's red and smells like blue paint?



Ketchup - cupboard or fridge?

Fridge after it's opened. It says so right on the bottle, dumb ****s.

Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion?

I imagine a bear is far stronger than a lion, and can withstand a lot of punishment, so one good hit and the lion is probably done for.

Name one bad habit you have

I'm proud of my bad habits: drinking, smoking, slacking off, being a dick to people on the internet, etc.

Do you remember the first time you were drunk? What happened?

One of my sister's friends coaxed me into shotgunning a beer with him after I had already drank way more than I could handle, I ended up puking all over the basement and then tripping in my own puke. The worst part is that I was 13 at the time.

You can live in any place in the world, where is it?

Australia.

Tell us a joke

https://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/20...79937297-2.gif

Ketchup - cupboard or fridge?

Fridge all the way.

Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion?

If The Revenant taught me anything, it's that the bear always wins.

Name one bad habit you have

I'm unable to ever be serious, not even the slightest bit.

Do you remember the first time you were drunk? What happened?

Went to a college party when I was a freshman in high school. My two friends and I were the youngest people there by a mile. They made it a mission to get us hammered. I still have never thrown up that much in my life. I'm surprised I didn't die.

You can live in any place in the world, where is it?

I'll answer that question when I get back from my trip cause it certainly isn't here.

Tell us a joke

Guy goes in for a job interview. Interviewer asks him a series of questions and gets to this. "What do you think is the best quality of an employee?" Guy says "Honesty". Interview says "I don't think honestly is that important". Guy laughs and says "I don't give a f*ck what you think."

Ketchup - cupboard or fridge?

Great question. I like things cold.

Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion?

Brian.

Name one bad habit you have

Smoking cigarettes and lying to prevent getting caught for meaningless things.

You can live in any place in the world, where is it?

Canada.

Tell us a joke

Do funny stories about playing experimental noise music on those fancy new bar jukeboxes count?

Ketchup - cupboard or fridge?

Mustard.

Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion?

Whichever wants it more badly than the other.

Name one bad habit you have

I can't stop lion. It's more than I can bear.

But in America you're average. Over in Europe you'd be a sumo wrestler.

Am I justified in groaning at this? I'd like to think my reputation for telling cheesy jokes is not so bad that I can't publicly look down my nose at this joke.

It was all purely to distract you from the fact that I didn't answer the question about getting drunk.