The Sexual Experience Thread

[butthead aka 216]

mankycant that story was incredible and had me laughing multiple times and i recognize your honesty. that was just awesome.

at the beginning it reminde dme of st patricks day this year, i was outside of this place called Tiki Lounge on a very busy bar/club street full of durnk people and this guy had this girl pinned up against the wall, one hand up her shirt and one hand down her pants. seeing that always make me laugh

[Burning Down]

Originally Posted by Fluffy Kittens

Anyone ever had any unpleasant sexual experiences? There must be some great stories on here.

Hmmmm... no actually, but my mom caught me once, does that count? lol

Originally Posted by YorkeDaddy

This isn't the first time someone has tried to tell me I'm not going to love my girlfriend or sex with my girlfriend or something unfounded like that, so I'm taking this with a grain of salt.

Actually what I meant was that it's exciting to live together at first but then you sort of become... domesticated? Not sure if that's the right word for what I mean... you just get used to it and when the excitement is gone the goal is to not become complacent in your relationship. If it's easy to live with the person, that won't be hard at all.

[butthead aka 216]

Originally Posted by Fluffy Kittens

Anyone ever had any unpleasant sexual experiences? There must be some great stories on here.

this one time back in college i was banging this girl in a nearby apartment complex pretty regularly. the complex was open so all the hallways and stairs and stuff were outside and ran down the middle of the 3 story complex. i remember before thanksgiving break or christmas or something i went over after all her room mates left and we ****ed like all over the place. one of those things when you are younger where you just wanna be able to tell people you got laid on a kitchen counter or balcony or whatever.

well anyways we lost track of time and her mom calls sayin she is out front waiting for her cause her mom wa spikcing her up to take her home for break. i cant go out the front door cause her mom will see me and i guess that would be awkward plus i probably smelled like sex. so i left using the balcony on the 3rd floor. there was a row of bushes lining a sand volleyball court thing, so i jumped and aimed for the bushes and it hurt like hell. then i waited there until i heard her moms car drive off.


first time i had sex i was like 17 i think and doin this chick in her basement on the floor. and i knew she had sex before so i really wanna impress her with my skillz. so im poundin it and im like damn son im the master but she starts bleeding everywhere. but she isnt sayin anything and doesnt seem hurt and its my first time so im not eating half the burger and throwin the rest in the trash just cause of a little hair i found on it. so i just keep goin and goin and then we finish and she looks at my dick and is like WTF??? why didnt you stop. and i was all like, i dunno??? and she was like listen my mom is comin home from work in like 20 minutes, you cant shower here. so i went home with dried blood all over my crothc

[Laces Out Dan!]

Originally Posted by Fluffy Kittens

I also remember fucking a girl and as she was bent over I saw a bit of toilet paper wedged in her arsehole.

Thats happened to me as well unfortunately. I had been fuckin this girl for a while, and then turned her over and started giving it to her from behind, when I spread her cheeks to give it a little thumbin' when I see what looks like basically half a square of TP stuck to her ass...I pretended like I saw nothing, shut my eyes and thought of the nastiest things I had in my head to try and finish this thing quick haha.

[Scarlett O'Hara]

Originally Posted by Fluffy Kittens

]

I also remember fucking a girl and as she was bent over I saw a bit of toilet paper wedged in her arsehole.



This is the sort of stuff I meant ^

Ewwwww!!!

[misspoptart]

The single most unpleasant thing that has every happened to me was when I was making out with a guy in his luxurious, awesome bed and just as things were getting a bit heavy, I put my hand down his pants to find a dick literally the size of my thumb. I shrieked.

On a separate occasion, I accidentally peed on a guy. I didn't even realize it was happening. While it was unpleasant for him, we were good friends so we just laughed about it afterward. No biggie, but still really gross.

[The Batlord]

Originally Posted by misspoptart

On a separate occasion, I accidentally peed on a guy. I didn't even realize it was happening. While it was unpleasant for him, we were good friends so we just laughed about it afterward. No biggie, but still really gross.

Did he start calling you the Whiz Kid after that?

[The Batlord]

Oh yeah, having only had two sexual experiences I didn't even think about it, but the first one was kind of unpleasant.

It was with this guy I used to know (even though I'm not gay that wasn't the unpleasant part), and we were hanging out in this girl's garage, which she had converted into her room, with about four other people. We both pretty much downed an entire big bottle of Tequila in about a half hour and were absolutely ripped by this point. So we started having one of those loud, fake, drunk arguments that you sometimes have with your friends over dumb bull**** just for laughs, when all of a sudden he just yelled out "Let's make out!" for no apparent reason. I was drunk, open, and amused by the notion, so I was like, "Okay!" and we just started full-on making out right there in front of four people who had no idea what the **** had just happened.

Then we ended up going to the other side of the garage behind some shelves and just blowing each other for about twenty minutes, but were too drunk to nut, so then we tried anal, but were far, far, far too drunk for that to work. At some point one of his friends, who I'm assuming was rather flummoxed that two dudes were just going at it about twenty feet away, left to go home, but where we were was about five feet from the door, so she walked right past us. It was awkward for her, but we were too gone to even care.

Then somehow we ended up outside by the side of the garage, and was was giving the dude a blow job, but I was really wasted, and getting my throat jabbed by a dick, so I took it out of my mouth, turned my head, threw up, and then went back to business.

Was weird. Oh yeah, and neither of us ever could manage to nut.

[LoathsomePete]

The only unpleasant sexual encounter I can think of that didn't involve me being on antidepressants that made it impossible for me to cum was with a girl I picked up who had a pet tarantula that got out of it's enclosure. There is nothing more terrifying than seeing a big hairy spider crawl up your leg as you're immobilized because a girl is on top of you. Fortunately I played it as cool as I could and she caught the fucker and got it back in the enclosure, but my erection at that point was pretty wilted.

[Dr_Rez]

Originally Posted by LoathsomePete

The only unpleasant sexual encounter I can think of that didn't involve me being on antidepressants that made it impossible for me to cum was with a girl I picked up who had a pet tarantula that got out of it's enclosure. There is nothing more terrifying than seeing a big hairy spider crawl up your leg as you're immobilized because a girl is on top of you. Fortunately I played it as cool as I could and she caught the fucker and got it back in the enclosure, but my erection at that point was pretty wilted.

hahahaha terrifying, great story though.