The Sexual Experience Thread

[djchameleon]

Originally Posted by Paul Smeenus

Oh ferfuckssakes she's not a Pavlovian dog

She might not be but you CAN use a form of hypnosis on her but I'm not even going to get into that because it's lengthy.

Originally Posted by tore

I wish me and my wife were more sexually compatible When we have sex, it is good - sometimes very, but it doesn't happen nearly as much as I'd like and I end up taking care of myself more often than not. Unlike me, she doesn't really fantasize much about sex and when she does, it's mostly about scenarios like two strangers meeting in an elevator. Basically, I think she fantasizes about scenarios that lead to sex more than the sex itself. My advances in the bedroom seldom gets the desired response and getting her to want sex at all is a challenge. She seldom has any ideas or special wishes that would spice things up. Thoughts that she considers naughty, most would probably think of as relatively tame. For some strange reason, I think she feels 'kinky' sex is too taboo or shameful to fantasize about.

I've tried to get her more interested in sex, but my attempts fail. F.ex I proposed to have a day each where one of us takes total control and decides what's gonna happen. I had my go at it and enjoyed it a lot, but then it was her turn. What I really wanted was of course to make her think about sex, want it, take control and spice things up for once. Of course, she forgot about the whole thing and after a while, I stopped with the reminders. It just wasn't gonna happen in a way that wasn't entirely contrived.

The biggest turn on for me is just basically when chicks are really horny. My ex was an animal in bed with a seemingly unsatiable appetite and a delightfully dirty mind. I would never cheat on my wife, but man how I wish she was more like my ex in that respect.

My wife, being less sexually demanding, is generally happy with the sexlife we have and has little real motivation to change things, even if she sympathizes when I bring it up. I feel like the problem just gets bigger and bigger. What can I do?

This is the main reason why it boggles my mind that couples think they should get married before having sex. I'm not saying that's your situation but knowing your partner sexually before getting married to them is a must imo.

Originally Posted by Lateralus

he had no idea that the things he was doing during foreplay and leading up to sex were totally off-putting for me until I told him. Sometimes you just need to talk about it, as embarrassing and awkward it may be to bring up with your wife. Good luck, tore

Doesn't anyone communicate during sex anymore? Geez. If I don't like something that's being done in the midst of the act. I speak up about it pronto. If the girl that I'm with doesn't like something I'm doing she speaks up about it right in the moment so that she can get full pleasure out of the experience.

[FETCHER.]

I'm just an average chick but whenever a guy does something I don't like I immediately tell him because it's extremely uncomfortable and off putting. Do chicks normally just grit their teeth and bear it or something?

[djchameleon]

Originally Posted by FETCHER.

I'm just an average chick but whenever a guy does something I don't like I immediately tell him because it's extremely uncomfortable and off putting. Do chicks normally just grit their teeth and bear it or something?

It seems that way.

[FETCHER.]

That's really horrible, I'm not the most sexually experienced person on the planet because I've had very brief encounters with men and have never really had regular sex until now... and I have always opened my mouth when something really turns me on or off. I obviously want him to repeat the good stuff and quit the bad ****, so why wouldn't you speak up?

[djchameleon]

Maybe to make their partner happy and not kill the mood in the moment or something. I don't know it's weird.

I'm always about communicating in the bedroom but some people just don't do it.

[Astronomer]

Originally Posted by djchameleon

Doesn't anyone communicate during sex anymore? Geez. If I don't like something that's being done in the midst of the act. I speak up about it pronto. If the girl that I'm with doesn't like something I'm doing she speaks up about it right in the moment so that she can get full pleasure out of the experience.

Originally Posted by FETCHER.

I'm just an average chick but whenever a guy does something I don't like I immediately tell him because it's extremely uncomfortable and off putting. Do chicks normally just grit their teeth and bear it or something?

Putting aside the fact that sometimes you don't want to blurt out something in the middle of sex at the risk of offending someone or killing the mood, I think if it's something that is just a minor irritation it can probably wait, but if it's something that is uncomfortable or off-putting I would tell them straight away. After being in a relationship for 5+ years you realise that there is a time and a place for serious "couple" talks which is different from just telling a casual sexual partner that you don't like something. Having a serious discussion about your seemingly incompatible sex life as a couple is a little bit different to saying "I don't like that" and something that you probably don't wanna initiate in the middle of sex...

[Arya Stark]

Added to what Lat said, this also doesn't seem to be a single issue of not liking something.
It seems to be an overall issue that can't be fixed at all by saying "Do this differently."

Actually I don't know if I was really adding or just being redundant.
But yk what I mean.

I agree. lol

[Astronomer]

Originally Posted by Arya Stark

Added to what Lat said, this also doesn't seem to be a single issue of not liking something.
It seems to be an overall issue that can't be fixed at all by saying "Do this differently."

Actually I don't know if I was really adding or just being redundant.
But yk what I mean.

I agree. lol

Yeah, this is what I was getting at too

Sometimes it's not an issue of a single thing that you do not like, but more so a range of behaviours, initiations and attitudes that are turn-offs that you need to discuss more seriously as a couple. During sex is not really the time or place for these kinds of serious discussions.

[FETCHER.]

Ofcourse I agree. I wasn't meaning Tore should initiate this conversation during sex because it is not the time or place for a conversation like that. I was just talking about general sex problems .

[YorkeDaddy]

Originally Posted by Paul Smeenus

I should've known the reference would be missed. Click the link below.


Pavlov's Dogs - Simply Psychology

well to be fair im a psychology major and even i didnt really get the reference until this post.