The Confessional Thread

~~hate paper doll~~ · 05-13-2014, 12:14 AM

Apparently I hurt my boyfriend all the time because I don't express my feelings in a way that makes him feel loved. He is very expressive and I'm not, and he feels like I only compliment him or say "I love you" when he coaxes it out of me. He also believes that the only reason I love him is because he loves me, if that makes any sense. I feel like utter sh!t right now.

ladyislingering · 05-13-2014, 12:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hate paper doll

Apparently I hurt my boyfriend all the time because I don't express my feelings in a way that makes him feel loved. He is very expressive and I'm not, and he feels like I only compliment him or say "I love you" when he coaxes it out of me. He also believes that the only reason I love him is because he loves me, if that makes any sense. I feel like utter sh!t right now.

I don't think I've ever seen a woman with this kind of personality.

I can't even fathom it. It's usually men that are emotionally distant (if only outwardly). You're a lovely girl but I assure you, being affectionate toward your significant other and helping them realize how beautiful they are to you, and how much you appreciate them is a completely wonderful feeling.

Just look at him one time. Have you ever noticed how beautiful he is? All the strange habits he might have, everything from the way he speaks to his handwriting, or the dumb way he laughs at silly things.... I've never seen the guy but I know from experience that some people (especially people that we love) are so beautiful; some people are just the walking aura of sweetness. Check it out when he's not looking; you'll see what I mean.

There's a million ways to show our loved ones how much we admire them, and how important they are to us. There's nothing more detrimental than neglect. There are some people who aren't naturally affectionate or expressive, but they certainly can be.

~~hate paper doll~~ · 05-13-2014, 12:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladyislingering

I don't think I've ever seen a woman with this kind of personality.

I can't even fathom it. It's usually men that are emotionally distant (if only outwardly). You're a lovely girl but I assure you, being affectionate toward your significant other and helping them realize how beautiful they are to you, and how much you appreciate them is a completely wonderful feeling.

Just look at him one time. Have you ever noticed how beautiful he is? All the strange habits he might have, everything from the way he speaks to his handwriting, or the dumb way he laughs at silly things.... I've never seen the guy but I know from experience that some people (especially people that we love) are so beautiful; some people are just the walking aura of sweetness. Check it out when he's not looking; you'll see what I mean.

You're right of course, and I fully intend to give him what he needs. I do tell him that I love him and that he makes me happy, I just don't do it enough. He gushes - poems, grandiose exclamations that I'm beautiful and perfect to him. I just don't operate that way, you know? Still, I know I need to work a little harder, it breaks my heart to know I hurt him.

ladyislingering · 05-13-2014, 12:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hate paper doll

You're right of course, and I fully intend to give him what he needs. I do tell him that I love him and that he makes me happy, I just don't do it enough. He gushes - poems, grandiose exclamations that I'm beautiful and perfect to him. I just don't operate that way, you know? Still, I know I need to work a little harder, it breaks my heart to know I hurt him.

He sounds like he has such a kind heart and caring soul. The sensitive types just need a little more love. I don't think he'll just give up on you or anything, because obviously he loves you very much. As long as you acknowledge his feelings, apologize, and sincerely promise to make everything all better, it'll be ok.

You're gonna be alright.

~~Sansa Stark~~ · 05-13-2014, 08:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hate paper doll

Apparently I hurt my boyfriend all the time because I don't express my feelings in a way that makes him feel loved. He is very expressive and I'm not, and he feels like I only compliment him or say "I love you" when he coaxes it out of me. He also believes that the only reason I love him is because he loves me, if that makes any sense. I feel like utter sh!t right now.

Dude sounds like a master manipulator imo

The Batlord · 05-13-2014, 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sansa Stark

I totally do only fall for ass holes

Keep it in your pants, Stark.

~~Sansa Stark~~ · 05-13-2014, 08:46 AM

Can't keep it in something I haven't worn in 8 years tho

Black Francis · 05-13-2014, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hate paper doll

You're right of course, and I fully intend to give him what he needs. I do tell him that I love him and that he makes me happy, I just don't do it enough. He gushes - poems, grandiose exclamations that I'm beautiful and perfect to him. I just don't operate that way, you know? Still, I know I need to work a little harder, it breaks my heart to know I hurt him.

He sounds like me, very needy

Don't feel too bad you're not like him, everybody expresses love differently if you aren't as expressive as him just find your own way to express you love him as much as he loves you.

If you're not a poet and don't do it through words, do it through your actions.. it would also help that you tell him what you said here, that you love him but you don't express yourself the same way as him.

He should be able to understand that, that not everybody needs to be like him to love somebody.

~~hate paper doll~~ · 05-13-2014, 03:51 PM

It's weird, I've never been with anyone this needy. I don't blame him or think he's trying to be difficult but I sometimes feel like no matter what I do it's just not enough for him. If I tell him I love him ten times he's either going to be upset I didn't say it eleven times or upset because nine of the ten didn't sound sincere enough. Then when I apologize he tells me not to because it's his fault for needing me to be there for him. I don't know what I can do to reassure him at times, and it's like banging my head against the wall.

djchameleon · 05-13-2014, 03:57 PM

Good luck with that. He seems really insecure.

05-13-2014, 12:14 AM	#1541 (permalink)
~~hate paper doll~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Apr 2014 Posts: 423	Apparently I hurt my boyfriend all the time because I don't express my feelings in a way that makes him feel loved. He is very expressive and I'm not, and he feels like I only compliment him or say "I love you" when he coaxes it out of me. He also believes that the only reason I love him is because he loves me, if that makes any sense. I feel like utter sh!t right now.

05-13-2014, 08:46 AM	#1547 (permalink)
~~Sansa Stark~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: The Eyrie, Vale of Arryn, Westeros Posts: 3,234	Can't keep it in something I haven't worn in 8 years tho

05-13-2014, 03:51 PM	#1549 (permalink)
~~hate paper doll~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Apr 2014 Posts: 423	It's weird, I've never been with anyone this needy. I don't blame him or think he's trying to be difficult but I sometimes feel like no matter what I do it's just not enough for him. If I tell him I love him ten times he's either going to be upset I didn't say it eleven times or upset because nine of the ten didn't sound sincere enough. Then when I apologize he tells me not to because it's his fault for needing me to be there for him. I don't know what I can do to reassure him at times, and it's like banging my head against the wall.