Shaking Hands

**Janszoon** · 10-04-2011, 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freebase Dali

Personally, I was never actually "taught" how to shake hands in any certain way. It just became pretty obvious after being put in positions where you experienced handshakes in various situations, and/or seeing it happen in your environment. I think the only guidance I ever had was people saying you should shake your interviewer's (for a job) hand firmly and meet their gaze directly and confidently. I can't really think of any teachings or advice beyond what I saw for myself.

Same here. There's really not much to it so not much to teach honestly.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freebase Dali

Maybe it's just our culture, though. It just seems normal to me to always shake hands upon a first greeting, in a professional setting, regardless of gender. If I were shaking a male's hand, it would be firm, but a female's, it wouldn't be as firm. But it wouldn't be a sloppy fish. And it certainly wouldn't be a cheek kiss in any scenario. Not in the south, at least.

Not in the northeast, midwest or west coast either in my experience.

Howard the Duck · 10-05-2011, 12:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thom Yorke

In the interview thread the subject of shaking hands in relation to gender came up. I figure most people here probably do it so I decided to add another question to it.

On my mom's side of the family (Estonian heritage, if that matters) they were taught to shake hands very firmly. I have painful childhood memories of one of my relatives who seemed to be trying to break my hand every time we shook hands.

On my dad's side of the family (Canadian/English) they don't have any sort of conduct for shaking hands, but I noticed many of them have relatively weak hand shakes. In general I think this holds true for most of the people here too.

I'd like to see what role location and age play in it as well but that would be a bitch of a poll to make just for shaking hands. So just choose which option best describes you.

are you Musicman from Music Babble?

he used to make polls like "Are you left or right-handed?"

captaincaptain · 10-05-2011, 07:59 AM

I believe in a firm handshake. When I shake that hand of someone who offers a limp hand I'm like, WTF do I do with this? There's few articles on the internet about Adrian Peterson, running back for the Minnesota Vikings. He apparently gives out very firm handshakes do to his upbringing. Adrian Peterson's handshake sparks reaction - Page 2 - ESPN

CanwllCorfe · 10-05-2011, 08:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mykonos

Weak. So very weak. I get too worried that I'll crush their hand otherwise.

Yup, me too. I think the only firm hand shaker in my immediate family is my brother Dan, but he's one of those handbreakers. I've never understood it. What are you trying to prove exactly?

I think the fact that I don't give a firm handshake is probably just the kind of person I am as opposed to upbringing. My dad never once talked about handshakes (which seems weird anyway), so I just sort of figured it out on my own. But for the record, I wouldn't say my handshake is a "dead fish", I just wouldn't say it's firm.

VEGANGELICA · 10-05-2011, 08:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nonsubmissivewife

See, this seems really odd to me. My parents actually taught me that when your in a situation where you're meeting someone new, especially someone older, you should shake their hand. ...

I only meant that my parents never sat me down and said, "Look. Ya gotta shake people's hands, especially in business situations." Similar to Freebase and Janszoon, I just observed what people do, understood why they do it, and copied them in offering my hand to people I meet, especially since I enjoy it. Shaking hands feels assertive, open, and friendly to me.

I do feel shaking hands is a sign of respect, so I might be more likely to shake an older person's hand than a younger person's...not because I respect them differently but because I think the older person might miss a handshake more. I like shaking kids' hands when I meet children. I guess I'm passing on the custom...plus I like to show them respect.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freebase Dali

As far as friends are concerned, it really would depend on how long it has been since I've seen them and how close we are. For best male friends I haven't seen in a long time, it defaults to the standard half-shake/thumb-lock thing with a possible shoulder-bump and inclusion of a back pat a few times. For female friends, it's always a hug.

Standard thumb-lock?? Shoulder-bump?

I knew of no such standard shake/bump greeting method. I can see I've been missing out! You make it sound like thumb wrestling.

Quote:

Originally Posted by right-track

Vegan. A true lady would offer the gentleman the back of her hand with her palm facing down and would not request a handshake, but instead would expect a light kiss. Failing that...a swift punch to the shoulder will suffice.

Ha! I don't buy that true lady business. Those hand-kisses went out of style over a century ago. You can't be THAT old.

Can you?

I am reminded, though, of how the older generation of male relatives on my mother's side, upon greeting female relatives, would greet not just by giving a cheek kiss, which I might have expected, but by actually giving a light kiss on the lips! I got surprised by that a couple times before I took evasive, cheek-turning action. It must be a generational thing. It felt much too personal to me.

The Monkey · 10-05-2011, 11:02 AM

I'm turned on by girls with strong handshakes.

right-track · 10-05-2011, 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA

Ha! I don't buy that true lady business. Those hand-kisses went out of style over a century ago. You can't be THAT old.

Can you?

Ha! That's rich coming from someone who posts their home videos as examples.

Quote:

Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA

Thom Yorke · 10-05-2011, 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by captaincaptain

There's few articles on the internet about Adrian Peterson, running back for the Minnesota Vikings. He apparently gives out very firm handshakes do to his upbringing. Adrian Peterson's handshake sparks reaction - Page 2 - ESPN

I remember this bit on that from his rookie year.

Thom Yorke · 10-05-2011, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Il Duce

are you Musicman from Music Babble?

he used to make polls like "Are you left or right-handed?"

Never heard of it. How active are you on that forum?

Freebase Dali · 10-05-2011, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janszoon

Not in the northeast, midwest or west coast either in my experience.

Yea, when I think of cheek kissing, I think a) Italians b) grandmothers c) putting your child to bed.

Quote:

Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA

Standard thumb-lock?? Shoulder-bump?

I knew of no such standard shake/bump greeting method. I can see I've been missing out! You make it sound like thumb wrestling.

Yea, it's typical with either younger males or men that can't see themselves full on hugging a dude. Each right hand is clasped in an arm-wrestling grip, then each guy pulls in and the shoulders bump, and each left hand pats the other's back.

Alternatively, there is the standard man hug, as demonstrated here:
(quite funny, too)

View Poll Results: Pick one
Male - Try to squeeze as hard as you can	2	4.88%
Male - Firm hand shake	22	53.66%
Male - Weak hand shake	2	4.88%
Male - Put no thought into it	5	12.20%
Male - Don't shake hands	1	2.44%
Female - Try to squeeze as hard as you can	1	2.44%
Female - Firm hand shake	7	17.07%
Female - Weak hand shake	0	0%
Female - Put no thought into it	0	0%
Female - Don't shake hands	1	2.44%
Voters: 41. You may not vote on this poll

10-05-2011, 07:59 AM	#43 (permalink)
captaincaptain I Am Become Death Metal Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Stankonia Posts: 695	I believe in a firm handshake. When I shake that hand of someone who offers a limp hand I'm like, WTF do I do with this? There's few articles on the internet about Adrian Peterson, running back for the Minnesota Vikings. He apparently gives out very firm handshakes do to his upbringing. Adrian Peterson's handshake sparks reaction - Page 2 - ESPN __________________ LAST.FM RYM

10-05-2011, 11:02 AM	#46 (permalink)
The Monkey Music Addict Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Sweden Posts: 803	I'm turned on by girls with strong handshakes. __________________ Now another stranger seems to want you to ignore his dreams as though they were the burden of some other My Last.fm Last edited by The Monkey; 10-05-2011 at 01:21 PM.