The Relationship Thread.

[Chula Vista]

Originally Posted by The Batlord

Honestly, when I think of a long term relationship, I don't fantasize so much about the whole lovey dovey, rom com 4 eva thing. I love the idea of someone who you can just be comfortable sitting in a room with without having to say anything to just to enjoy their company. Being so comfortable with them that you're perfectly happy to be each other's tedious norm until the day one of you drops dead.

Dude, how to describe my life. Linda and I have been together since Christmas, 1979. We're both 55 (her in a few months), out of shape, health issues, extreme life stress between work and family, and would lovingly strangle each other to death on any given day.

Yet you couldn't pry us apart with a thousand crow bars. We're best friends like you wouldn't believe. Can make each other laugh to the point of pissing. And we've shared so much over the course of our time together that it's ridiculous. I simply can not imagine a life without her, and I'm sure she feels the same way.

Well, I hope she does....

[WWWP]

I feel embarrassed to bring this up but I have to get it off my chest - my bf yells at me and I f*cking hate it. It's not constant, and it's not belligerent, but he always raises his voice if we argue, and this morning he woke me up by yelling at me for not cleaning something up before I went to bed last night, then said "I'm leaving" and stormed out of the house before I could even react.

My parents were abusive to each other and me/my siblings, and there was constant yelling in the house. So when my bf raises his voice, I dissociate and completely shut down. I feel like an ******* for not standing up for myself but I just freeze up. Idk what to do. My bf knows all of this about me, and while I will raise my voice to match his sometimes, I never yell. I find it completely unattractive and childish and disrespectful.

My bf returned home after about an hour (I made breakfast for him while he was gone like some doting ****ing housewife) as if nothing happened and he doesn't understand why I'm upset. He feels that he was justified bc that's just how angry *I* made him.

I'm grossed out. He's an idiot.

[MicShazam]

You either sit down and have a talk about it or risk it leading down bad roads.

Not that I'm a relationship expert by any means. Just doesn't seem like something that should be left as it is for too long.

[Mindfulness]

Originally Posted by WWWP

I feel embarrassed to bring this up but I have to get it off my chest - my bf yells at me and I f*cking hate it. It's not constant, and it's not belligerent, but he always raises his voice if we argue, and this morning he woke me up by yelling at me for not cleaning something up before I went to bed last night, then said "I'm leaving" and stormed out of the house before I could even react.

My parents were abusive to each other and me/my siblings, and there was constant yelling in the house. So when my bf raises his voice, I dissociate and completely shut down. I feel like an ******* for not standing up for myself but I just freeze up. Idk what to do. My bf knows all of this about me, and while I will raise my voice to match his sometimes, I never yell. I find it completely unattractive and childish and disrespectful.

My bf returned home after about an hour as if nothing happened and he doesn't understand why I'm upset. He feels that he was justified bc that's just how angry *I* made him.

I'm grossed out. He's an idiot.

maybe let him know, that could be a start . break it into a situation randomly when everything is going good. I havent been in a relationship for a few years but id just say" can we act like adults and not yell at each other anymore?!"

[MicShazam]

I mean, if you can't sit down and talk like adults, what are you doing together. So yeah, try that.

[WWWP]

I've talked to him about it many times. I've told him it's a huge problem for me and why, explained how it makes me feel and how it's unproductive bc I can't have a rational conversation or process information when I'm in a dissociative headspace and he promises to work on it and find better ways to deal with his stress.

We'll be fine by the end of the day, but I feel like I'm doing myself a disservice by continuing to let it slide.

It's the overreaction to small grievances and disrespectfulness aimed toward me that I just don't know what to make of.

[Oriphiel]

Adults who yell like angry babies are the worst. Life's too short to spend time having to deal with that kind of ****. I say ditch him for a sexy and soft-spoken lesbian lover.

[WWWP]

Originally Posted by Oriphiel

I say ditch him for a sexy and soft-spoken lesbian lover.

you get me

[rostasi]

Originally Posted by WWWP

... I feel like I'm doing myself a disservice by continuing to let it slide.

Yes. You're young, attractive and you don't need bullshit like this in your life. Get out before you can't.

[Oriphiel]

^

If a guy can't appreciate her edibles enough to use his indoor voice, then **** him, he can't appreciate anything.