Your Day

Burning Down · 02-08-2012, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LuckyLovexoxoxxx

no alot of girls that I went school with are preg wtf

Maybe they're just making bad decisions.

My boyfriend is still trying to teach me some Serbian. I told him it's a lost cause lol

midnight rain · 02-08-2012, 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freebase Dali

When my social anxiety was bad, it often helped to remind myself that most people really aren't scrutinizing and judging me, and I wasn't under a microscope, simply due to the fact that most people are relatively unaware of what's going on around them while they're preoccupied in their own little lives. Incidentally, this is probably also supported by the sheer number of car accidents and shopping aisle blockages.
I always remark on how little people are actually aware of around them, and I certainly don't remember ever remarking about someone's unusually perceptive actions.

Keeping that in mind took the edge off.

What got me a LOT better, so far permanently, was having to take a speech class in college. It's the absolute most terrifying situation to be in when you suffer from social anxiety. What I began to notice was I wasn't the only one who was nervous up there, although stage fright isn't really a disorder and is common. So that helped a bit, but only in the short term. The entire semester was mentally brutal for me.
What happened, though, was I actually made it through and did well. I didn't notice that I was no longer so anxious in public until I had finished the semester off.
Overcoming that class has made the more mundane things seem like a cakewalk. Now I'm actually outgoing in public in situations where I'd just be pretending boredom or being silent.

I guess it's the equivalent of exposure therapy, but in a terrifying dose that assures you of your ability to handle every day stuff after "surviving" it.

Good to see another person with social anxiety cause I'm pretty sure I have it from what you said. Another thing that helps me is to realize that not everyone's going to like you and you shouldn't live your life for other's approval or something like that. Like that guy over there might think I wallk funny, or that girl might think my hair looks stupid but who really gives a **** cause you can't change other people's minds (or their first impressions, at least) and chances are that even if they notice something about you (which they probably don't, I think I just fabricate most of it in my head) the thought doesn't cross their mind for more than a couple of seconds before they go back to caring about their own lives. I just like to say people who'd even judge these miniscule details aren't really worth my time anyways.

I like to think I'm getting better about it with age, but I still have those days where I want to do nothing but look at the ground, and basically get away from other people as fast as possible. That's low self-esteem for you.

~~Farfisa~~ · 02-08-2012, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LuckyLovexoxoxxx

no alot of girls that I went school with are preg wtf

The only girl I've slept with has a kid now, it's really strange thinking about it.

LoathsomePete · 02-08-2012, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Farfisa

The only girl I've slept with has a kid now, it's really strange thinking about it.

The first girl I slept with has a kid now as well, so I can also vouch for the strange feelings that linger. Even though she had the child a full year after we had sex, there was still this niggling thought in the back of my mind that made me wonder if I was the father.

**Janszoon** · 02-08-2012, 11:42 AM

I'm pretty sure most of the women I've slept with in my life have kids at this point.

~~Farfisa~~ · 02-08-2012, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janszoon

I'm pretty sure most of the women I've slept with in my life have kids at this point.

This chick had a kid when I was 18 (I'm 21 now), and she's two years younger than I am. I didn't start thinking about it again till just recently.

Freebase Dali · 02-08-2012, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tuna

Good to see another person with social anxiety cause I'm pretty sure I have it from what you said. Another thing that helps me is to realize that not everyone's going to like you and you shouldn't live your life for other's approval or something like that. Like that guy over there might think I wallk funny, or that girl might think my hair looks stupid but who really gives a **** cause you can't change other people's minds (or their first impressions, at least) and chances are that even if they notice something about you (which they probably don't, I think I just fabricate most of it in my head) the thought doesn't cross their mind for more than a couple of seconds before they go back to caring about their own lives. I just like to say people who'd even judge these miniscule details aren't really worth my time anyways.

I like to think I'm getting better about it with age, but I still have those days where I want to do nothing but look at the ground, and basically get away from other people as fast as possible. That's low self-esteem for you.

Mine wasn't really about wanting people to like me. It was more about wanting to "seem normal". The anxiety would make me overly self-conscious about not fidgeting, shaking, and sweating, which would then cause those symptoms and feed my anxiety in a negative feedback loop. I just didn't want people to think I was weird or crazy, which is a lot more of a judgmental scenario than whether someone doesn't like my haircut or something, to me. In most cases, it was particularly bad at job interviews, or being around new co-workers, bosses, etc, where things were actually at stake. I guess I got so used to it, it spread to normal every-day life and just became a subconscious reaction.
The problem was there seemed to be no way to rationalize away an irrational fear caused by a mental issue. You know it's irrational, but you can't control it.

Now days it's dramatically different. I don't know if I trained myself to respond differently to the irrational thoughts or what. I'm still more self-conscious than I consider to be normal, but I no longer let my mind run away with the irrational fears that come with it. But I think you're right about it getting better with age. As I've aged, I generally care less and less about how I'm perceived, so that helps things and I feel like I have a greater degree of control as a result.

duga · 02-08-2012, 04:31 PM

I have my Biochem test in 1.5 hours. I ****ing hate night exams. I ****ing hate biochemistry. If this test is really hard (this school loves to "challenge" people in ridiculous ways) I am going to flip a ****.

Freebase Dali · 02-08-2012, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by duga

I have my Biochem test in 1.5 hours. I ****ing hate night exams. I ****ing hate biochemistry. If this test is really hard (this school loves to "challenge" people in ridiculous ways) I am going to flip a ****.

Pretty sure I bombed my first physics exam today. I love exams, but only when there is no math in them. And ESPECIALLY no math in the form of word problems.
Is biochemistry mathy?

duga · 02-08-2012, 05:06 PM

Not particularly, but there about 100 enzymes I need to know and the genius scientists who discovered them decided to give them all similar names.

Here's an example:

phosphofructokinase
phosphoglucmutase
phosphoglucose isomerase
glycogen phosphorylase

The list goes on and on. My head is going to explode.

02-08-2012, 11:42 AM	#18075 (permalink)
Janszoon Mate, Spawn & Die Join Date: May 2007 Location: The Rapping Community Posts: 24,593	I'm pretty sure most of the women I've slept with in my life have kids at this point. __________________ A Night in the Life of the Invisible Man Time & Place 25 Albums You Should Hear Before the Moon Crashes into the Earth and We All Die last.fm

02-08-2012, 04:31 PM	#18078 (permalink)
duga MB quadrant's JM Vincent Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Washington, DC Posts: 3,762	I have my Biochem test in 1.5 hours. I **ing hate night exams. I ing hate biochemistry. If this test is really hard (this school loves to "challenge" people in ridiculous ways) I am going to flip a **. __________________ Confusion will be my epitaph...

02-08-2012, 05:06 PM	#18080 (permalink)
duga MB quadrant's JM Vincent Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Washington, DC Posts: 3,762	Not particularly, but there about 100 enzymes I need to know and the genius scientists who discovered them decided to give them all similar names. Here's an example: phosphofructokinase phosphoglucmutase phosphoglucose isomerase glycogen phosphorylase The list goes on and on. My head is going to explode. __________________ Confusion will be my epitaph...