Tough one, Key. Hope all works out well. I'll be thinking of ya.

Thanks. I'm just being patient until my dr appt. I'll know more next week. Heh. Patient. Dr. Ha I made a pun.

Yep, I think that's good advice, even if it can be expensive and/or uncomfortable.
I hope things go ok for you Key, and if I may offer some advice myself while you wait for your appointment: repeat to yourself: "I don't know anything about it. I can't change anything about it. I'm going to forget about it, until I turn up at the Doc's."

I hope all goes well Key. I’ll have my fingers crossed that you’re all okay.

Thank you both. Whatever it is that they will be looking at, I know that I'll be in good care. I'm just an overly anxious person in general. It'll be alright. I will provide an update as soon as I can. I feel fine overall. But that's not always a tell that you're healthy. All will be good though.

I know, sometimes the waiting and not knowing is worse than the appointment itself. Try not to think on it too much in the meantime like lisna said there’s nothing you can do to change the outcome. You are right, all will be good :).

An old acquaintance of mine committed suicide two days back.


It's the second time that happens in my life. That first time was a guy whom I liked very much, though we didn't have much of a relationship. I always thought he was this cool, out-going guy, and I would. have never imagined he would kill himself.

People I knew from primary school/college/high school not being there anymore.

This one wouldn't hit me that hard, if it wasn't for my best friend being very close to that girl.

I mean, sure, she seemed like a goth/edgy teenager, but she seemed perfectly happy in school. She was in a relationship with a pretty weird, but extremely interesting guy, and their relationship seemed perfectly healthy. She had many friends, among them my best friend, as I've mentioned.

I just don't understand the mindset that leads you to that decision.

Especially when taking into consideration all the people it will affect. I mean, I don't usually give a **** about people I know, but I would never kill myself, or at least kill myself without a word, because I realize how it would affect the people around me.

Like, how is her boyfriend supposed to feel? Or her parents? Or my best friend who tried to give her. emotional support for the last couple of years?

I just don't understand and I don't know what to feel.

Im pretty beat up.

it's not that much of my loss, as a loss for people I know.

I mean, I've basically upgraded from friend to therapist to people I know and love who knew that girl very well.

Her decision is something that touches people she would've never thought it would touch. Like thrice removed cousins or something.

My best friend is basically a shell of his former self right now, he's not capable of talking about anything else, and I'm starting to feel the weight of that loss, even though I only knew her from a couple of parties and sometimes talking to her during breaks.


I do believe that you do live for others. In the sense that you need to realize the consequences of your actions on others, and you should take them into account.
What individual pain could possibly warrant pain for tens, if not hundreds of individuals?

If you can’t understand the mind set then count yourself lucky and leave it at that.

I suppose you're right