Marie Monday

I think you're right. At least I see no reason why it shouldn't be fluid, and sexuality certainly isn't completely determined by our genes; there are identical twins with different sexualities. I think people are afraid of admitting that sexuality isn't purely genetic because conservative people could misinterpret that as an argument for conversion therapy etc., which is a very valid concern of course. Also, the difference between being straight and being conditioned to be so is whether or not you're repressing a part of yourself

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WWWP

*Ex, tyvm. And I'm positive, he didn't turn me gay he's just the one that made me commit to being gay lol.

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jwb

That and it gives straight people consolation to think that it's just a tiny minority of people who are born gay rather than a proportion of the population that can potentially grow or shrink based on societal norms and experiences of people when growing up/coming of age.

Yes but how do you truly know whether you yourself are repressing something.

WWWP

You don't know til you know

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Marie Monday

Definitely. That's probably related to the personal homophobia which many people who are theoretically pro-gay don't acknowledge in themselves.

I remember one time I was attending a lecture by a guy talking about studying abroad. He talked about culture differences and was like 'in some countries they believe homosexuality can be spread so no wonder they're homophobic' and one guy in the audience turned to his friend and was like 'yeah then I would be pretty scared of gays too'. Until then I had never realised how afraid people are of becoming gay if they think that's possible

That's the difficulty of course. In hindsight my sexuality and repressive thoughts are very obvious from when I was 10 years old, and deep down I think I knew I was repressing even then. But sometimes you barely can tell, I guess
edit:
well that's a much shorter and better way of explaining it lol

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jwb

The point I'm driving at with that question is it's easy to in hindsight apply the question of was I always not straight and was just in denial once you come out.

But naturally that same question applies to everyone who is straight. Are they actually straight or have they been conditioned.

And are gays actually exclusively gay or have they turned that into such an identity they have likewise been conditioned.

Basically my point is the only real distinction we make is by self designation. What you are and experience first hand. Anyone can theoretically be repressing something without knowing it.

Marie Monday

Of course that's technically true, but at least for me there's a huge difference between how I feel now and how I did when I was closeted. I think subconsciously I knew. So theoretically I agree, but in reality you can often kind of tell
I mean, repression always asserts itself in some way (otherwise it wouldn't be a problem) and if you're not aware of it yourself someone else likely is

I think this is all just a specific version of the general question whether we can ever really know something about ourselves for sure. You can't completely trust your own judgement because you're so biased, and you can't trust other people's because they can't read your mind

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jwb

Right I'm sure some people can clearly tell.

My point is more about people like me. Wwwp asked me was I actually straight or just repressed. If I was repressed I didn't notice it and don't retroactively notice it now, even with hindsight and having known I was bi since I was 16.

So functionally I see no difference between pre teen me and somebody who is "actually" straight.

Marie Monday

oh sure, I agree

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WWWP

Nothing is real, we all make it up as we go along

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