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Old 10-26-2007, 10:54 AM   #371 (permalink)
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Done and Done. Is it better without the last line, i think it rounds itself up nicely.
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Old 10-26-2007, 12:10 PM   #372 (permalink)
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^Sounds much better, again, good job .
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Old 10-26-2007, 02:53 PM   #373 (permalink)
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Old 12-11-2007, 08:36 PM   #374 (permalink)
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Default I, Myself and Me

Trying new things again. Enjoy (?)



I, Myself and Me

There were three of us there that night,
I, Myself and Me
Sitting around the camp fire yes,
We told jokes and carried on like most folks,
And when the wind would howl,
We'd close our coats to the freezing air,
And I would say to Me, it's cold out.
Myself and Me, well we had to agree.

We search for shelter in a nearby home,
Hopefully our neighbors wouldn't mind.
The trumpets sound our entrance,
As did the breaking glass of the window upstairs.
Trust the father and mother and child,
To burst from their rooms staring at the three of Me.
Crying and pleading, as if I wanted to hurt their family!
I didn't, but I can't talk for Myself and Me.

I cried as I tied up the mother,
Myself took it upon him to shoot the father,
And of course it was up to Me to drown the child.
We just needed warmth, yes,
I, Myself and Me.
I couldn't have this screaming going on!
Leave it up to Myself and Me to agree.
We retired to the muffled sounds of the mother,
Beside Myself, I presented her face with my knee.

The law caught on quick as one could expect,
They found us sleeping and I wasn't the only suspect.
They had the audacity to blame Me.
We acted in unison, they say, we acted as one.
But Me, Myself and I just could not agree.
The blood on my shirt, I couldn't explain,
And somehow the other two plain got away.
And now I sit in chains hearing jeers and I can only say,
Despicable things about Myself and Me.

R. Crowe
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Old 12-11-2007, 10:55 PM   #375 (permalink)
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Quote:
And I would say to Me, it's cold out.
Me, Myself and I had to agree.
This is kind of redundant, we know you agree that's why you stated it =P.

Other than that I loved it, it took me as a surprise where you went. I like the idea behind it alot, you get a crazy man vibe from the start but you don't think it'll come to what it did.
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Old 12-11-2007, 11:16 PM   #376 (permalink)
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Oh **** good call. Yikes I was trying to be careful about that too. FIXED
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Old 12-12-2007, 06:35 AM   #377 (permalink)
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This is really good. As Crowquill said it took an unexpected turn which drew me in.
I can't imagine how this would fit to music but I'm sure you know yourself.
I'd like to see this theme of Me, Myself and I perhaps in another scenario? I liked the direction it was takin within the first stanza, just a lonely person sitting out in the cold, and was wondering whether you could base a song on that idea instead of the gory and grim outcome this song came to

all in all though I really enjoyed it.
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Old 12-12-2007, 07:39 AM   #378 (permalink)
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Its a really great concept and you worked it out well, but I think someone has been reading in to Freud a little too much lol. Its got a dark humour to it, but it works well.
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Old 12-12-2007, 10:09 PM   #379 (permalink)
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This is fun, good work.
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Old 12-14-2007, 05:00 AM   #380 (permalink)
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8/10. Good job.
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