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Old 02-24-2007, 11:00 PM   #1 (permalink)
The Professor
 
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Default Let's Get Hammered Just This One Time, I know This Great Bar Around The Corner

Let's Get Hammered Just This One Time, I know This Great Bar Around The Corner


Standing outside of your window
Watching a silhouette of you moveing back and fourth
I felt butterflies in my stomach
For the first time
My hearts beating
Beating faaster and faster
Nearly comeing out of my chest
Past expierences have blurred
My decision makeing
And made a home in my memory
A dark cloud hovers over me
I try to flee
For some reason it finds where I hide
I want to be the one to wipe
Away your tears
I want to be you guardina angel
That will never leave your side
Heaven can't be as beautiful as her
She's the picture perfect girl
That deserves the world and all of it's riches
She will never hear these words
Cause what would a girl like that
Want with a guy like me


Ok I've been in a slump lately so please be gentle and please state your honest opinions.....K thanks
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Old 02-25-2007, 11:23 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I liked it but it coulda been more like I cant think of the word but discriptiveish I think
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Old 02-25-2007, 12:02 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Watching a silhouette of you moveing back and fourth < Moving.
Beating faaster and faster < Faster.
Nearly comeing out of my chest < Coming.
My decision makeing < Making. Alright, this is getting annoying. Spell check your shit before posting it. Also, it sounds like your stalking someone, which, on it's own is creepy. You describe it in a very cliche way. And your title is terrible, mainly because it's totally irrelevant, it also sounds like some emo band's song, where they have to have extremely long titles. It's annoying. And, did I mention spell check? SPELL CHECK.
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Old 02-25-2007, 12:41 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Yeah i've been in alittle slump lately so I sort of knew it sucked just needed some opinions. O well there is always next time.
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Old 02-25-2007, 01:02 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Yeah. It still would've been nice if you spell checked it first.
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Wolverinewolfweiselpigeon said:

What's with people dying? Shit.
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Old 02-25-2007, 01:07 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I'll make sure I do it next time.
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Old 02-25-2007, 04:17 PM   #7 (permalink)
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If you're admitting that it sucks though, why not make an effort to post something that you're proud of so that people can go, "Damn Loser, that's pretty good!" Why consciously introduce stuff that you know sucks to the community? It REALLY brings down your credibility.
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Old 02-25-2007, 04:28 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I do that to get a second opinion on my work even if I don't like it someone else will or help me tweek it a bit.
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Old 02-25-2007, 06:48 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Lose the P!ATD title.
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