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Old 02-05-2009, 08:08 PM   #31 (permalink)
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I really enjoyed reading that... quite humorous.
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Old 02-05-2009, 08:26 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Why thank you good fellow. I hope they feel the same way.
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Originally Posted by WhateverDude View Post
Laser beams, psychedelic hats, and for some reason kittens. Surrel reminds me of kittens.
^if you wanna know perfection that's it, you dumb shits
Spoiler for guess what:
|i am a heron i ahev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak if you dont repost this comment on 10 other pages i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans
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Old 02-23-2009, 09:41 PM   #33 (permalink)
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Default My Teen Scene

This means I am writing a theatre scene that involves a teenage conflict. I chose drugs. Here it are.

The scene opens up on RAPTOR sitting, spaced out for a few moments. A knock at the door (ROBOT). RAPTOR seems disturbed.

RAPTOR: Gosh golly! This better not be the cops, I swear I’m too blazed to get busted right now. Man, who is it?

ROBOT: It’s Robot, open up Raptor.

RAPTOR: Who’s Robot?

ROBOT: Only your bestest friend in the world, yo! Open up!

Beat.

RAPTOR: Wait, who is this?

ROBOT: Robot!

RAPTOR: Robot? Oh my god, come on in!

RAPTOR opens the door.

RAPTOR: WAZZAP.

ROBOT: WAZZZZAAP?

RAPTOR: WAAAAAAAZZZZAAAAAAPPPP.

RAPTOR and ROBOT sit down. RAPTOR searches the room for something.

ROBOT: What are you looking for?

RAPTOR: My weed, man. I’ve been looking for it for like seven weeks. Yes!

RAPTOR finds his stash. He starts to roll it up.

RAPTOR: Would you like some?

ROBOT: I dunno, I kinda just quit the stuff, you know, and like, I don’t wanna, like… hold on, it’s like…

RAPTOR: I’ll take that as a yes.

RAPTOR takes a puff and passes it to ROBOT. ROBOT is hesitant.

RAPTOR: You gonna hit that or am I just gonna be disappointed in you?

ROBOT: I dunno, man, I’ve been trying to clean up. I had to walk over here because I can’t even drive right now.

RAPTOR: Well have a little, just for a pick-me-up. You know there’s gangsters out there that will take your money; a little weed could change that.

ROBOT: That doesn’t make sense.

RAPTOR: Well, are you feeling down?

ROBOT: A little.

RAPTOR: There’s your alibi right there. Just a little, dawg, just a little.

ROBOT: Well… alright.

ROBOT smokes some of the weed.

RAPTOR: Feelin better, eh? EH?

ROBOT: Yeah, I’m feeling cool. I’ll see you later, though; I was just heading over to Crowbar’s.

RAPTOR: Alright then, yo. I’ll check ya out later.

ROBOT leaves.

We jump forward in time. RAPTOR is standing around, drinking something and generally messing around.

RAPTOR: Haha! Nannerpus is my favorite!

ROBOT enters. She is not too happy.

RAPTOR: Hey Robot, what’s happenin with ya?

ROBOT: I heard about how you got arrested. What’s going on with you?

RAPTOR: I’m just doin my thing, if you didn’t notice that!

ROBOT: No, you’re just acting stupid.

RAPTOR: Nuh uh!

ROBOT: Come on Raptor. This isn’t you dawg.

RAPTOR: You hardly know me, son.

ROBOT: I’ve known you for seven years.

RAPTOR: Well you know what? I’m goin out. Watch the house.

RAPTOR leaves. ROBOT tries to stop him but he is gone. ROBOT looks worried. We then skip to a news report.

NEWSCASTER (VO): There was a mugging on Roosevelt Road today. The victim was Richard “Raptor” Williams. He is in critical condition at the hospital. We are sorry to report this in your time of distress, Robot. We will now continue on to the ten o’ clock resolution.

ROBOT rushes to the hospital. CUT TO the hospital. RAPTOR is lying in what could be his deathbed. ROBOT is on the verge of tears in this scene.

RAPTOR: Hey, yo. (He coughs.)

ROBOT: Hey dawg.

RAPTOR: I think I’ve found the error in my ways. No more weed for Raptor here.

ROBOT: So you think we’ve reached a moralistic ending, with no ongoing storyline?

RAPTOR: Yes I do.

RAPTOR and ROBOT get up happily and bow.

END

I hope this takes 2-3 minutes.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhateverDude View Post
Laser beams, psychedelic hats, and for some reason kittens. Surrel reminds me of kittens.
^if you wanna know perfection that's it, you dumb shits
Spoiler for guess what:
|i am a heron i ahev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak if you dont repost this comment on 10 other pages i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans
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Old 02-23-2009, 09:58 PM   #34 (permalink)
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I can't believe I read that entire thing.
I expected something interesting to happen.

;_; I've been duped.

Made me laugh after I realized that it was written as a waste of time.
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Old 02-23-2009, 10:04 PM   #35 (permalink)
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I guess you just can't appreciate quality theatre.

Maybe I will add onto it when I feel like I don't have to do it for a grade. I will contact you when I do.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhateverDude View Post
Laser beams, psychedelic hats, and for some reason kittens. Surrel reminds me of kittens.
^if you wanna know perfection that's it, you dumb shits
Spoiler for guess what:
|i am a heron i ahev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak if you dont repost this comment on 10 other pages i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans
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Old 02-23-2009, 10:16 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Read 3 lines and scrolled. Glad I didn't read it all.
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Old 02-23-2009, 10:17 PM   #37 (permalink)
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Elitist.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhateverDude View Post
Laser beams, psychedelic hats, and for some reason kittens. Surrel reminds me of kittens.
^if you wanna know perfection that's it, you dumb shits
Spoiler for guess what:
|i am a heron i ahev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak if you dont repost this comment on 10 other pages i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans
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Old 02-23-2009, 10:22 PM   #38 (permalink)
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Oh yeah, this is pretty much a rough draft. I'll have to run it by my partner in this scene before it's done.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhateverDude View Post
Laser beams, psychedelic hats, and for some reason kittens. Surrel reminds me of kittens.
^if you wanna know perfection that's it, you dumb shits
Spoiler for guess what:
|i am a heron i ahev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak if you dont repost this comment on 10 other pages i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans
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Old 02-24-2009, 12:25 AM   #39 (permalink)
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if its just for school, you sir are a genius.
otherwise.... ...... .....
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Old 02-24-2009, 10:14 PM   #40 (permalink)
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It's not being edited. My partner loved it. It's gonna be gangster.

Roy: Thank you. I didn't mean for it to be too serious; it's supposed to be silly. I'm glad you like it. I'd never really try to pass this off as fine literature. Just for fun.

This is actually my first time writing a script. Did I use the format right, you guys?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhateverDude View Post
Laser beams, psychedelic hats, and for some reason kittens. Surrel reminds me of kittens.
^if you wanna know perfection that's it, you dumb shits
Spoiler for guess what:
|i am a heron i ahev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak if you dont repost this comment on 10 other pages i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans
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