kguy88's Songwriting Journal (song, Ching, Hang)

kguy88 · 11-25-2008, 01:56 PM

hey,

I'm a hobbyist lyricist and I just joined this site in hopes of finding someone to sing some of my stuff and to get honest opinions on my songs.

Below I'm going to post a song I wrote which I consider to be one of my best so far, If you like it, want to sing it or just want comment about it fill free.

Ok the song is called "Them Days" and here it is

Oh there was a time when everything was fine the grass was green and red was the wine
Good was good and great was just fine Good people had good clean minds

Oh let the people say

Take me back to them days

Oh mom was good and dad was kind all the children obeyed just fine
what was mine was yours and yours was mine but that was in a much simpler of times

Oh so they say, Take me back to them days

People people are saying that times are tough so toughen up but enough's enough
That's what I say
Take me back to them days

Can't you hear the clatter clatter tell me people what's the mater
Everything seems good but it's a lie

I take off my hat and I settle on down take off my face and reveal my frown
I wish that I was in a simpler time because I've got a simpler mind

Oh come my way and Take me back to them days
to them days
Buddy holy gee miss molly everything seems bright and jolly
I want to be all melancholy come on come on come on lets all change
I will be a guy you can be my girl come on people lets embrace the world
Lets all say
Take me back to them days

Jim Colyer · 11-29-2008, 11:58 AM

Reminds me of Bob Seger's lyrics, the way he is always looking over his shoulder. We must keep going into the future.

kguy88 · 11-30-2008, 01:07 PM

I wrote this song a long time ago when I was just starting out so it's a little rough and a bit rhymey.

Something died when you left me and a new person grew
(music, duh nuh duh)
No I'm not what you left behind I'm, I'm something new
(music, duh nuh duh)
My skins a little thicker and my eyes see through you
(music, duh nuh duh)

Yes I, I'm a different person than the person you knew
I've got something dark inside me and it was left here by you

you thought you could change me, well you you did that too
so if you think I'm evil well the blames all on you

Cause I'm a different person than the person you knew
My skins a little thicker and my eyes see through you

Now you say you love me and you want something true but
you changed me deeply and now I just can't stand you

For I, I'm a different person than the person you knew
you wanted someone deeper but you made me darker too

Now I walk these streets insane as I'm searching for you
I want to give you the dread inside me and you'll take it to

Cause I, I'm a different person than the person you knew
You made me evil so I could relate to you

I want to find the reason I, I want to find the truth
Please Take me back in time before I ever met you

Well I, I'm a different person than the person you knew
I've got some scars on me and they're bleeding through

I toss and turn at night and I'm turning from you
Yes I, I'm a different person

kaleidoscope.. · 12-02-2008, 06:58 PM

cool stuff!! i like it..could there be another verse at the end?a more resolving verse that gives a different point to the song?instead of just looking back..how about bringing those times into the future...

kguy88 · 12-02-2008, 10:05 PM

Here you go "As i sit here I see times escaping so I think I must start embracing and if I shake off all my sorrows perhaps I will see a bright tomorrow where everything is new but just the same and these will be those days". I don't really think it fits but I tried.

kguy88 · 12-10-2008, 08:36 AM

Another one of my early songs, enjoy

You put me down you locked me away
You told me things you shouldn’t say,
Even though you run from me
The truth will come to set me free,
No you can’t hide from these eagle eyes

( Chorus )
Oh, Eagle eyes are in the sky’s
They’ll swoop down and spot your Lies
They’ll tell me what you’ve done to me
Good or bad I’ll always see
Yeah, I see through your lies with my eagle eyes

You thought that you could hide with him
That the night would blind your sin
But babe you best thing again
Cause I’ve got you in the sight Of my eagles eyes

( Chorus )
Oh, Eagle eyes are in the sky’s
They’ll swoop down and spot your Lies
They’ll tell me what you’ve done to me
Good or bad I’ll always see
No you cant blind theses eagles eyes

Walking down these streets of pain
My sorrow gets mixed in with the rain
I try to hide what you have done to me
But the memory is all I can see
Now I’m trapped inside of these Eagle eyes

( Chorus )
Oh, Eagle eyes are in the sky’s
They’ll swoop down and spot your Lies
They’ll tell me what you’ve done to me
Good or bad I’ll always see
Yeah, I wish I could hide from these eagle eyes

Oh baby baby don’t go away
tell me that your sins have washed away
And with me your always stay
Yeah I’ll keep you safe inside of my eagle eyes

kguy88 · 12-10-2008, 08:42 AM

This more of a poem but I mint for it to be a song, I don't have a name for it yet.

You bit off more than you can chew just to see what you can do, now everything seems so fast but just remember this to shall pass, now when you’re driving in you car everything it seems so hard but look at me and you will make it through life is hard but so are you So sitting back in the summer sun you start to miss your childish fun but if you look to the one you seek you will jump and dance upon for feet for though you’ve grown and left those ways you can still look to yesterday I know you have some you love just go give them a great big hug they will pick you up in the purring rain and even unscramble your worried brain just help them out in their hurried time tell them that it’ll be all right, Now this may seem like a lot but you’ve got to give some of what you got Cause if you grab onto an empty rope you will look like such a dope so when you’re feeling bad hold on tight I’ll be there to make it fell all right and if you loose what you need you can get it back from me. So pleas forgive my loud approach but you just can’t give up hope so when I see you start to scream I want to pull you close to me, can’t you see we are a live and we’re goanna be all right so if you need to scream well here’s my face lets go onto a quite place I’ll hold tight till the rage goes now I could go on for a week I really lose it when I speak now forgive my rhyming it’s just my way to say the things I never say So when you start to weep just remember these words I speak, never grab more than you can take don’t always try to stay awake cause the dreaming time lets you live and now that’s all I’ve got to give

kguy88 · 12-10-2008, 09:04 AM

I began writing this song on one of those days and finished it on a better one, hope you like it.

One of those days is the stage that I live in
I keep loosing all the things I’ve been getting

When I wake I just stare at my pillow I put on my face and pretend to be mellow

I don’t know what I’m doing in this town everything I do just falls down
Yeah Everything I do gets turned all around

Oh one of those days is the stage that I live in
I keep loosing all the things I’ve been getting

When I look for a friend I get tricked into giving all the things in life that are worth all my living

Oh pain and sorrow are the things I see when I feel love gets turned into misery
Now I walk down the valley of self content I fall and I cry just a little bit
Yes I cry just a little bit

Cause one of those days is the stage that I live in
I keep loosing all the things I’ve been getting

Now I don’t know what will come tomorrow but I’ll face it cause I won’t give up I’ll
Just keep growing stronger you can hurt me but you can’t keep me in the water

Cause a single day can’t last forever

kida · 12-19-2008, 08:12 AM

cheesy

11-25-2008, 01:56 PM	#1 (permalink)
kguy88 Groupie Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 8	My best song hey, I'm a hobbyist lyricist and I just joined this site in hopes of finding someone to sing some of my stuff and to get honest opinions on my songs. Below I'm going to post a song I wrote which I consider to be one of my best so far, If you like it, want to sing it or just want comment about it fill free. Ok the song is called "Them Days" and here it is Oh there was a time when everything was fine the grass was green and red was the wine Good was good and great was just fine Good people had good clean minds Oh let the people say Take me back to them days Oh mom was good and dad was kind all the children obeyed just fine what was mine was yours and yours was mine but that was in a much simpler of times Oh so they say, Take me back to them days People people are saying that times are tough so toughen up but enough's enough That's what I say Take me back to them days Can't you hear the clatter clatter tell me people what's the mater Everything seems good but it's a lie I take off my hat and I settle on down take off my face and reveal my frown I wish that I was in a simpler time because I've got a simpler mind Oh come my way and Take me back to them days to them days Buddy holy gee miss molly everything seems bright and jolly I want to be all melancholy come on come on come on lets all change I will be a guy you can be my girl come on people lets embrace the world Lets all say Take me back to them days

11-30-2008, 01:07 PM	#3 (permalink)
kguy88 Groupie Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 8	kguy88's Songwriting Journal I wrote this song a long time ago when I was just starting out so it's a little rough and a bit rhymey. Something died when you left me and a new person grew (music, duh nuh duh) No I'm not what you left behind I'm, I'm something new (music, duh nuh duh) My skins a little thicker and my eyes see through you (music, duh nuh duh) Yes I, I'm a different person than the person you knew I've got something dark inside me and it was left here by you you thought you could change me, well you you did that too so if you think I'm evil well the blames all on you Cause I'm a different person than the person you knew My skins a little thicker and my eyes see through you Now you say you love me and you want something true but you changed me deeply and now I just can't stand you For I, I'm a different person than the person you knew you wanted someone deeper but you made me darker too Now I walk these streets insane as I'm searching for you I want to give you the dread inside me and you'll take it to Cause I, I'm a different person than the person you knew You made me evil so I could relate to you I want to find the reason I, I want to find the truth Please Take me back in time before I ever met you Well I, I'm a different person than the person you knew I've got some scars on me and they're bleeding through I toss and turn at night and I'm turning from you Yes I, I'm a different person Last edited by kguy88; 11-30-2008 at 01:15 PM.

12-10-2008, 08:36 AM	#6 (permalink)
kguy88 Groupie Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 8	Eagle eyes Another one of my early songs, enjoy You put me down you locked me away You told me things you shouldn’t say, Even though you run from me The truth will come to set me free, No you can’t hide from these eagle eyes ( Chorus ) Oh, Eagle eyes are in the sky’s They’ll swoop down and spot your Lies They’ll tell me what you’ve done to me Good or bad I’ll always see Yeah, I see through your lies with my eagle eyes You thought that you could hide with him That the night would blind your sin But babe you best thing again Cause I’ve got you in the sight Of my eagles eyes ( Chorus ) Oh, Eagle eyes are in the sky’s They’ll swoop down and spot your Lies They’ll tell me what you’ve done to me Good or bad I’ll always see No you cant blind theses eagles eyes Walking down these streets of pain My sorrow gets mixed in with the rain I try to hide what you have done to me But the memory is all I can see Now I’m trapped inside of these Eagle eyes ( Chorus ) Oh, Eagle eyes are in the sky’s They’ll swoop down and spot your Lies They’ll tell me what you’ve done to me Good or bad I’ll always see Yeah, I wish I could hide from these eagle eyes Oh baby baby don’t go away tell me that your sins have washed away And with me your always stay Yeah I’ll keep you safe inside of my eagle eyes

12-10-2008, 08:42 AM	#7 (permalink)
kguy88 Groupie Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 8	No name This more of a poem but I mint for it to be a song, I don't have a name for it yet. You bit off more than you can chew just to see what you can do, now everything seems so fast but just remember this to shall pass, now when you’re driving in you car everything it seems so hard but look at me and you will make it through life is hard but so are you So sitting back in the summer sun you start to miss your childish fun but if you look to the one you seek you will jump and dance upon for feet for though you’ve grown and left those ways you can still look to yesterday I know you have some you love just go give them a great big hug they will pick you up in the purring rain and even unscramble your worried brain just help them out in their hurried time tell them that it’ll be all right, Now this may seem like a lot but you’ve got to give some of what you got Cause if you grab onto an empty rope you will look like such a dope so when you’re feeling bad hold on tight I’ll be there to make it fell all right and if you loose what you need you can get it back from me. So pleas forgive my loud approach but you just can’t give up hope so when I see you start to scream I want to pull you close to me, can’t you see we are a live and we’re goanna be all right so if you need to scream well here’s my face lets go onto a quite place I’ll hold tight till the rage goes now I could go on for a week I really lose it when I speak now forgive my rhyming it’s just my way to say the things I never say So when you start to weep just remember these words I speak, never grab more than you can take don’t always try to stay awake cause the dreaming time lets you live and now that’s all I’ve got to give

12-10-2008, 09:04 AM	#8 (permalink)
kguy88 Groupie Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 8	One of those days I began writing this song on one of those days and finished it on a better one, hope you like it. One of those days is the stage that I live in I keep loosing all the things I’ve been getting When I wake I just stare at my pillow I put on my face and pretend to be mellow I don’t know what I’m doing in this town everything I do just falls down Yeah Everything I do gets turned all around Oh one of those days is the stage that I live in I keep loosing all the things I’ve been getting When I look for a friend I get tricked into giving all the things in life that are worth all my living Oh pain and sorrow are the things I see when I feel love gets turned into misery Now I walk down the valley of self content I fall and I cry just a little bit Yes I cry just a little bit Cause one of those days is the stage that I live in I keep loosing all the things I’ve been getting Now I don’t know what will come tomorrow but I’ll face it cause I won’t give up I’ll Just keep growing stronger you can hurt me but you can’t keep me in the water Cause a single day can’t last forever Last edited by kguy88; 12-10-2008 at 09:13 AM.

11-29-2008, 11:58 AM	#2 (permalink)
Jim Colyer Groupie Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Nashville, Tennessee Posts: 40	Reminds me of Bob Seger's lyrics, the way he is always looking over his shoulder. We must keep going into the future.

12-02-2008, 06:58 PM	#4 (permalink)
kaleidoscope.. Groupie Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: New Zealand Posts: 44	cool stuff!! i like it..could there be another verse at the end?a more resolving verse that gives a different point to the song?instead of just looking back..how about bringing those times into the future...

12-02-2008, 10:05 PM	#5 (permalink)
kguy88 Groupie Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 8	Here you go "As i sit here I see times escaping so I think I must start embracing and if I shake off all my sorrows perhaps I will see a bright tomorrow where everything is new but just the same and these will be those days". I don't really think it fits but I tried.

12-19-2008, 08:12 AM	#9 (permalink)
kida Voodoo Child Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 149	cheesy __________________ "Hi could I use you guy's is phone for a sec"