Dying flame
 

Im so cold in this place
And losing what made me human
I wouldn't recognise my face
If i looked at my reflection
I'm trying to say something
Trying to express how this place makes me feel
But I've said it all before and still no one knows this **** is real

Maybe i should stop leaving clues...
Maybe I'll just take off these shoes and no one will follow me to the edge
No one can pull from the precipice...

I spend my days
afraid of falling down
Into the spikes sticking out the ground
And i keep praying
hoping they'll figure out
That i don't want to fall!

I've been here for so many years
Kept this flame alive
Fed it my breath to keep it burning
Kept him from sleeping

Maybe i should stop feeding him lies
Maybe i should hold my breath and let this flame die

I've spent my days
Afraid of falling down
Into the spikes sticking out the ground
And in my prayers i've realised
I'm not afraid of never being found
I'm scared they'll see my poor soul and finally figure out
this life isn't for me. It was never for one like me.
Now that I know no one's listening, i'll scream it out
"Drench me in blood and let me drown"

Ok... First off, Hi nice to meet you, bleh.... social niceties blah....

Lets get down to brass tax, if it is a poem, then your structure is good, I think you lose sight of that however by trying to make it rhyme in certain areas...

I get the sense from this piece, song, poem, sonnet, or whatever the heck it is, that you my dear author are young...it speaks of teenage angst to me, and that makes it a little generic for my taste... but I am not by any means an authority on ANYTHING! ANYWHERE, EVER!!! you have, talent, it needs either to be polished, or you need more life experience, I dunno which, but either way, you could become, good, and fast because of how well you are able to be honest...

~R

Hi roxy. Thank you for taking the time to read my poetry/songs or whatever(Im actually not sure what to call it either.) I'll admit my poems do sort of sound like teenage ramblings, lol. I'll work on that. Thanks for your honest and constructive criticism, it is appreciated.

I really liked these poems. These are truly awesome and everything from lines to thoughts are simply great.

Melodies
 

Do you have melodies for these ?

Nope. They're just poems. Some of them were written with the intent of turning them into songs but then i realized that i have zero musical talent. Lol.

Twisted Love
 

So... I've been having a hard time writing more than two lines these days, but last night I managed to sort of finish a poem... I'm not sure it's post worthy, but here goes.




You took my heart and scraped out the beauty that was inside
Filled the excavation with your twisted love
And I became something ugly, cold and miserable
And i fell in love with the misery

I can't forget the way you loved me
The way my defenses were futile
The way you turned my screams to silent sobs
I hear you still, as your words
reach through time
And distance
Reminding me what I am

I yearn for my days of ignorance
I weep for the death of my innocence
What should have been a taste of benevolence,
Turned out to be the taste of raw malevolence.

And now as I lay in the arms of another
I can't fathom his love without the cold
When his heart beats before me with no agenda
My heart's cemented in your embrace
You hold me, still, even in your absence

Lay me down
 

Shivering and awake, wrapped in dampened sheets,
I am forced to feel the pain and finally be afraid.
I may leave this world, leaving no memories behind.
Instead of passing on, I could just disappear

And in the maze of my pain, I have prayed that I would change
But in my anger and my fear, I designed this place;
A sanctuary,
where things remain the same
And we all die alone.
It wasn't 'til i saw the face of death
that I knew it doesn't have to be this way.

Beneath the wars we've raged
And the layers of darkness we have laid
Something is alive
A heartbeat that refuses to die

So lay me down
in a place I had forgotten
The sliver of hope in a world we made so rotten.
I Found something beautiful.
The mellifluous sounds of love, they make you young again.

So Lay me down
Let me close my eyes.
And when i say goodnight for a final time,
I am young again.

atrophied
 

I was lying in your arms
Waiting for us to become something more
I was hoping this is real
And that you really feel the way I feel
But my heart sank and atrophied,
waiting for your empty promises to be filled
But they were never more than lies,
You couldn't care less whether I live or die.

Still I wanted to believe you could change,
so i stayed and dug my own grave
Threw my world away.
Now neither one of us can be saved

I was dressed as a corpse
And you built your love like a coffin around me.
In all the ugliness beneath your love,
I was buried alive
I was exactly where you wanted me.

I never wanted to leave
But now all I want is to break free
Your love isn't the kind that soothes with its embrace
It's more like a lust that consumes and destroys every part of me.

If I love myself at all
I'd run away and spare myself the fall
Because I can't be the only one making sacrifices
only to find myself alone every night.
I think the only option is "Goodbye.."

I really like those, you should put them up on Deviant Art or something :) Have you ever tried to get anything published?