Not to be sarcastic.......but is there any point in getting published?

lies
 

it's not too hard to make it through the day
Or to convince myself and everyone that I'm okay.
Perfectly placed words and a smile is all it takes
to make them believe I'm free of heartache
and I almost believe it's not just a role that I play.

I know I can't hide behind a lie forever.
Truth always finds a way to be heard.
I just fear the real me won't ever
find a place in this cruel world.

When I wake in the morning
there's an emptiness in my mind
It lasts just a second after I've opened my eyes,
And I'll stare at a room I don't recognise
Searching my memory, a clear slate is all I find
No memory of the pain I swallow everyday.
I'm innocent as I bask in the bliss of my ignorance

The second slips away and it's replaced by a moment that seems to last a lifetime
As the the truth invades my mind
Suddenly I'm paralysed by the realisation that I'm not innocent or unscathed
my soul is tainted by my crimes

The memories flood my mind
No wall of lies to keep them out.
Like a shower of shooting stars,
burning bright,
They illuminate my scars
And I remember how much the wounds once hurt

The mask on my face becomes transparent in the light,
and looking at my reflection,
I don't see the man I wish I was.
I see a man so despondent, so defeated by this life.
A man who's made mistakes and prays for forgiveness
He Longs for love but questions whether he deserves it.

I weep, but the lights have faded out
And my tears are hidden by the mask once more

Im digging the self loathing in your poems. i really liked 'My Nirvana' especially these verses

"The wind carried me on its shoulders
Lifted me beyond the sky
Higher than my dreams could ever take me
If ever I believed in heaven, this is what it would look like
but the more I try to touch what I see, the further it drifts out of reach
And I remember. This must be hell.

I always let myself fall into the purple skies
Higher than life. Higher than pain
Right in the middle of nothing"

I also liked Predator and Grey angels.. Good stuff.

Following footsteps into the past
 

Wish I didn't have to move forward.
May I just look back at these footprints,
and follow them back to things we left behind
I'll try so hard to keep them alive
If I could just rewind.

Walking through the past with eyes wide open,
I'll stop where we left each other broken
and I'll find the moment we fell out of place
And I won't take another step until it's erased
then you won't ever have to walk away

I'll wander back to our times
Lose myself in your eyes
It's like gazing up at the stars
This time it won't be too late when I realise
that all I need is right here in your arms
Though I'm young and meant to be free,
when the nights are cold it's not freedom I need.

I don't know how you feel about us now,
but I know I brought a part of you to life
We were two grey souls until we touched
We filled each other with a blazing light
That light died when we parted ways
Now every step forward takes me deeper into night.

I wish I could stop in my tracks.
I'll turn and take these years back,
Because nothing I'll ever gain
Could make up for my lacks.
When I look to the future all I see,
is the one thing I'll never have.

So if I could turn around,
I'll follow the footprints back to our times
And hold on to the simple happiness we had
when you were mine.

To shatter
 

I look into your eyes,
Telling myself it's just one more time
Just like before
I find myself falling
'Til I'm submerged in your beautiful lies
And I inhale your toxic love,
My mind numbing as it fills my lungs.

And I'm aware that this time it might kill me.
I'll let it,
Because it's you.
Because when I'm drunk on your love,
I can't hold a steady thought.
I'll be anything you want.

Any walls I may have built around my heart,
They tremble and crumble at your touch
I won't fight as you pull the locks apart.
Then you kiss me like what I want doesn't matter.
There seems to be no choice and I'm yours once more...
To hold. To love. To Shatter.

@OP I think the wording's a little cheesy, but you've done an excellent job at invoking emotion and imagery. Best job I've seen for a while.

I know this is extremely old but damn, that is really good poetry. I love the imagery. The feeling. The expression. Really good job.

Let me sleep
 

your voice crashed down around me
Your words as sharp as razorblades
You find all the right veins
You know how to stretch out the pain.
I'm so close to death,
But you leave me dangling there
at the precipice.
Let me go, let me rest.
Let me sleep.
Please let me sleep...

Dust
 

And i wait in the dust
Holding onto the past
Cause that's where my heart was alive
Before everyone left....

Now i wait in the dust like I've
Been waiting for years
For someone to come back
And help me rebuild these memories

And i pinch myself just to see if it'll hurt
But the years have made me numb
I don't bleed anymore

Lonely Perfection
 

His reflection is flawless
His loneliness, hidden by his perfection...
Not a scratch on the surface
Nothing penetrates his skin
He has a smile that never fades away
A lie that makes everything seem okay
Even when the demons inside stir, restless
His eyes remain expressionless

Outside he smiles in familiar places when he can't stand to look at their faces
Nobody gets close enough, because he's just a ghost
Hiding from what he fears the most
As long he pretends to be a part of this world
his facade remains untainted

Alone on a single bed
He Falls into the world inside his head...
And he experiences bliss for the first time
but the bliss that he feels, he'll never feel outside of his dreams
Because nothing in this world is his.

When he opens his eyes
He leaves the best part of himself behind
But he won't cry
Because, once the tears start to fall, they may never stop
So he soldiers on
Denying himself any weakness
Denying himself the freedom
And his facade remains untainted.