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Old 11-12-2016, 04:11 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: San Mateo, California, USA
Posts: 3
Default Raellic's songwriting journal

Brain on Fire

When I saw you then I felt it strong in my mind
I felt it then, I feel it now, till the end of time
One vision, one voice, one beautiful bride
A woman blessed with everything I now know is divine

I tried, and I loved you, and I knew youíd be mine
But I couldnít take the step that I knew I would find
Too hard, too far, too early to see
Couldnít do what it took to keep you for me

My brain is on fire
Brain on fire
Brain on fire
Brain on fire

Looking back, the years gone, itís easy to see
Iím glad you found happiness far away from me
But when I dream, and I meet you, itís like the first time
No matter what I do, canít get you out of my mind

I donít care if they say Iím crazy
Baby theyíre right
If I said I didnít love you anymore, itíd be a lie

My brain is on fire
Brain on fire
Brain on fire
Brain on fire

Desire is desire but my anger at me is fire
My brain is on fire
Brain on fire
Brain on fire

I deserve it, and I did it, but I canít help but wonder
What kind of life we would have had without being asunder
Some day, I can hope, if you let me be free
I can ask how it turned out for both you and me

These days when I tire and think my mood is dire
I think of you, and it gives me something to aspire
To sleep, to dream, to feel in my mind
That I did the right thing or should leave it behind

I donít care if they say Iím crazy
I think theyíre right
If I said I didnít love you anymore, itíd be a lie

Chorus x2
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Old 01-29-2017, 12:03 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jan 2017
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I respect what you're doing.
You have the emotional connection, but I think the writing isn't done yet. Writing is re-writing. First I'd go after adjectives that could be improved. "strong, beautiful, etc." Then I'd polish the rhymes.

Have fun.
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