The English Football Thread

Face · 01-26-2013, 06:06 AM

BREAKING NEWS

Villa in search of equal opponents

After the recent run of form, we understand that Aston Villa has been trying to organise a football match against a team they might draw, and possibly even win against.

"The lads just need a pick me up, a game to remind them what it feels like to not lose" Lambert offered at a recent press conference. However, so far they have had trouble finding suitable opponents, Lambert ruled out local sunday pub teams, reportedly due to the fear that jeers and mocking laughter could devastate the villa team after the inevitable loss.

A friendly was finally organised against key stage 4 boys of St Benedicts School, after being laughed off by key stage 5. "We'll try to go easy on them" remarked the Daniel, 15, "Afterall, there's not much bragging rights in beating them is there?".

P.E teacher,Mr. Scott, added "if not, they can always play the girls, but it'll probably have to be KS 3, since they tend to develop earlier than boys".

Lambert has reportedly doubled the Villa training efforts and offered a whole 5 minutes with 3 high class prostitutes to whoever scores a villa goal, and a day out at pizza hut if they manage a clean sheet.

ManWithNoName · 01-26-2013, 09:41 PM

I feel sorry for Villa fans. They were looking good under O'Neill not so long ago.

~~Cuthbert~~ · 01-26-2013, 09:50 PM

Partly O'Neill's fault. Signed a lot of crap for big money and Lerner trying to balance the books now is the reason why we're crap.

O'Neill is a prick to be fair, left us at the worst possible time with no chance of signing players. Tosser.

Just noticed we have similar avatars

**Goofle** · 01-27-2013, 05:12 AM

O'Neil is a crap manager to be fair. Probably would have been relegated if he stayed at the club much longer.

~~Cuthbert~~ · 01-27-2013, 05:39 AM

No you're right, he is crap. He spends a load of money and just about manages to keep the club's head above water.

May decide to go on Tuesday. Massive game.

ManWithNoName · 01-27-2013, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fluffy Kittens

No you're right, he is crap. He spends a load of money and just about manages to keep the club's head above water.

Sounds a bit like Redknapp then. Media praise him, but real fans of his clubs know the score.

Noticed the way the results were going this weekend and won a bit of money on Oldham today. So many top half Premier League teams under-estimate lower league opposition - I think they are used to teams tactically playing for draws and parking the bus against them.

Face · 01-27-2013, 11:16 AM

Bah.

That shows more than ever why we need another experienced midfield player. Couldn't string more than two passes together until gerrard came on. And their massive players were just too much for coates and robinson.

**Goofle** · 01-27-2013, 11:46 AM

Allen was quality today. Gotta admit, Gerrard has been much improved in the last few months.

right-track · 01-27-2013, 01:16 PM

Face · 01-27-2013, 02:01 PM

I laughed out loud when I saw them sitting next to each other today on the bench.

Side by side on the bench, arms folded, looking on in exasperation.

01-26-2013, 06:06 AM	#1 (permalink)
Face Music Addict Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: UK Posts: 306	BREAKING NEWS Villa in search of equal opponents After the recent run of form, we understand that Aston Villa has been trying to organise a football match against a team they might draw, and possibly even win against. "The lads just need a pick me up, a game to remind them what it feels like to not lose" Lambert offered at a recent press conference. However, so far they have had trouble finding suitable opponents, Lambert ruled out local sunday pub teams, reportedly due to the fear that jeers and mocking laughter could devastate the villa team after the inevitable loss. A friendly was finally organised against key stage 4 boys of St Benedicts School, after being laughed off by key stage 5. "We'll try to go easy on them" remarked the Daniel, 15, "Afterall, there's not much bragging rights in beating them is there?". P.E teacher,Mr. Scott, added "if not, they can always play the girls, but it'll probably have to be KS 3, since they tend to develop earlier than boys". Lambert has reportedly doubled the Villa training efforts and offered a whole 5 minutes with 3 high class prostitutes to whoever scores a villa goal, and a day out at pizza hut if they manage a clean sheet.

01-26-2013, 09:41 PM	#2 (permalink)
ManWithNoName Groupie Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: Albion Posts: 41	I feel sorry for Villa fans. They were looking good under O'Neill not so long ago.

01-26-2013, 09:50 PM	#3 (permalink)
~~Cuthbert~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: The Black Country Posts: 8,827	Partly O'Neill's fault. Signed a lot of crap for big money and Lerner trying to balance the books now is the reason why we're crap. O'Neill is a prick to be fair, left us at the worst possible time with no chance of signing players. Tosser. Just noticed we have similar avatars

01-27-2013, 05:39 AM	#5 (permalink)
~~Cuthbert~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: The Black Country Posts: 8,827	No you're right, he is crap. He spends a load of money and just about manages to keep the club's head above water. May decide to go on Tuesday. Massive game.

01-27-2013, 11:16 AM	#7 (permalink)
Face Music Addict Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: UK Posts: 306	Bah. That shows more than ever why we need another experienced midfield player. Couldn't string more than two passes together until gerrard came on. And their massive players were just too much for coates and robinson.

01-27-2013, 01:16 PM	#9 (permalink)
right-track Atchin' Akai Join Date: May 2005 Location: Unamerica Posts: 8,770

01-27-2013, 02:01 PM	#10 (permalink)
Face Music Addict Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: UK Posts: 306	I laughed out loud when I saw them sitting next to each other today on the bench. Side by side on the bench, arms folded, looking on in exasperation.