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11-20-2007, 01:59 AM | #11 (permalink) |
Atchin' Akai
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Unamerica
Posts: 8,723
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Here's a couple I got as phone text that made me laugh out loud;
With recent divorce proceedings and the increased negative media attention, Heather Mills was described by analysts as being unstable. Paul McCartney said, "a couple of beer mats usually does the trick!". An elderly couple are attending Sunday church, when half way through the sermon the old lady whispers to her husband, "I think I've just done a silent but deadly fart...what should I do?" The old man replies, "Buy some new batteries for that fuckin' hearing aid!" |
11-20-2007, 06:22 AM | #14 (permalink) |
Groupie
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 9
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ok, this one was on a laffy taffy i ate the other day...
What do a racoon and a tv have in common? A lot. -that was the answer, really. kudos to whoever wrote that in and actually got it on the wrapper. can anyone come up with an explaination? |
11-20-2007, 06:58 PM | #15 (permalink) | |
Music Addict
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 3,565
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Quote:
okay so, a couple goes in to see a priest about getting married and the groom asks the priest "is it okay to have sex before marriage?" and the priest responds "as long as it doesn't delay the ceremony". |
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11-20-2007, 10:59 PM | #17 (permalink) |
I love Puck
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 4,614
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Why cant Helen Keller drive?
Cause she's a woman. What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing because you already told her twice. Wanna hear a good joke? Women's Rights.
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We are entirely smooth, We admit to the truth, We are the best at what we do.
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11-21-2007, 03:10 PM | #19 (permalink) |
#1 Schuldinist.
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 420
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A breakcore guitarist and a fan after a concert;
Fan- Wow, you are so amazing, man! Guitarist- Yeah, I'm so brootal. I love playing and all that good stuff. Man, feel this (holds out his index finger) Fan- Wow, man. It's all blistered and calloused and stuff. Guitarist- yea, all from my extreme playing. Fan- Wait why aren't your other fingers just as rough? Guitarist- Why would they be?
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I don't mean to dwell But I can't help myself When I feel the vibe And taste a memory Of a time in life When years seemed to stand still |
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