The Official Joke Thread

Wayfarer · 04-01-2011, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BobLobLaw

What's the difference between pizza and a Jew?

Pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

Really?

C'mon, holocaust jokes are just unacceptable, Anne Frankly I won't stand for them.

Thom Yorke · 02-19-2011, 10:43 PM

A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his tummy was growling.
"I sure am hungry," exclaimed the sleepy bear.
So the bear found some berries, but quickly spit them out.
"These berries are far too yucky," sniveled the playful bear.
He then found some honey, however was soon chased away by a swarm of bumble bees.
"That honey is sweet and yummy, but my tummy is still growling!" cried the jolly bear.
He then stumbled upon a cabin.
"I wonder if there is any food in here..." wondered the curious bear.
The events that followed are now referred to by the locals as the Doomsday Massacre. While no witnesses survived, police reports depict that the Martinez's, a young family of 7 enjoying their Memorial Day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, were brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who relentlessly tracked each of them down, one by one.

Thom Yorke · 02-19-2011, 10:54 PM

I'm sure this has been posted, but:

What does DNA stand for?
The National Dyslexia Association.

Connair · 02-22-2011, 11:12 AM

Here's a Joke.

6underground · 02-22-2011, 11:20 AM

What's the worst thing you could hear while blowing Willie Nelson?

"I'm not Willie Nelson."

djchameleon · 03-03-2011, 04:18 AM

How do you make Lady Gaga cry?

You poke her face!

TheBig3 · 03-03-2011, 09:41 PM

So these two fish are sitting in a tank and one says to the other...

"So how do you drive this thing?"

djchameleon · 03-04-2011, 04:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheBig3

So these two fish are sitting in a tank and one says to the other...

"So how do you drive this thing?"

~~James~~ · 03-04-2011, 09:55 AM

went to HMV and got Prince's greatest hits. Was a bit annoyed it cost £23.00. But I took it home and partied like it was £19.99.

The Batlord · 03-04-2011, 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James

went to HMV and got Prince's greatest hits. Was a bit annoyed it cost £23.00. But I took it home and partied like it was £19.99.

Oh god that's so ****ing dumb!

02-22-2011, 11:12 AM	#4 (permalink)
Connair Music Addict Join Date: May 2010 Location: Ogden, Utah Posts: 159	Here's a Joke. Attached Thumbnails

03-03-2011, 09:41 PM	#7 (permalink)
TheBig3 killedmyraindog Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Boston, Massachusetts Posts: 11,246	So these two fish are sitting in a tank and one says to the other... "So how do you drive this thing?" __________________ I've moved to a new address

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02-19-2011, 10:43 PM	#2 (permalink)
Thom Yorke Music Addict Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 1,848	A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his tummy was growling. "I sure am hungry," exclaimed the sleepy bear. So the bear found some berries, but quickly spit them out. "These berries are far too yucky," sniveled the playful bear. He then found some honey, however was soon chased away by a swarm of bumble bees. "That honey is sweet and yummy, but my tummy is still growling!" cried the jolly bear. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." wondered the curious bear. The events that followed are now referred to by the locals as the Doomsday Massacre. While no witnesses survived, police reports depict that the Martinez's, a young family of 7 enjoying their Memorial Day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, were brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who relentlessly tracked each of them down, one by one.

02-19-2011, 10:54 PM	#3 (permalink)
Thom Yorke Music Addict Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 1,848	I'm sure this has been posted, but: What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexia Association.

02-22-2011, 11:20 AM	#5 (permalink)
6underground Prozac Princess Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 198	What's the worst thing you could hear while blowing Willie Nelson? "I'm not Willie Nelson."

03-04-2011, 09:55 AM	#9 (permalink)
~~James~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Scotland Posts: 4,483	went to HMV and got Prince's greatest hits. Was a bit annoyed it cost £23.00. But I took it home and partied like it was £19.99.