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Old 01-29-2019, 08:05 PM   #571 (permalink)
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A conspiracy theorist dies and goes to heaven. God tells him that he will answer one of the man's questions. The man asks "Who shot JFK?" God answers "It was Lee Harvey Oswald. He did it, and he acted alone." The conspiracy theorists replies "Bullshit. This thing goes higher than I thought!"

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Old 01-31-2019, 09:21 AM   #572 (permalink)
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I want to start an iron sights company so it's slogan can be "We Aim to Please".
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I don't want to rec you anything, I want you to stop posting actually
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Old 01-31-2019, 09:33 AM   #573 (permalink)
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A colt walked into a bar but couldn't ask for a beer because he was a little hoarse.
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Old 01-24-2020, 08:34 AM   #574 (permalink)
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Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?

Spoiler for ze PUNCH! line:
Because he asked them who their favorite composer was and they all said: "Bach Bach Bach!".
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Old 01-24-2020, 08:59 AM   #575 (permalink)
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I'm pretty sure that's not how German pronunciation works
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I want to open a school for MB's lost boys and teach them basic coping skills and build up their self esteem and strengthen their emotional intelligence and teach them about vegetables and institutionalized racism and sexism and then they'll all build a bronze statue of me in my honor and my bronzed titties will forever be groped by the grubby paws of you ****ing whiny pathetic white boys.
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Old 01-24-2020, 09:09 AM   #576 (permalink)
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Y'all lost your chance to boss people around in 45
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Old 01-24-2020, 09:24 AM   #577 (permalink)
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I can't get past the pronunciation for entrance and exit.
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