The Official Joke Thread

Whatsitoosit · 04-01-2009, 12:23 PM

Three widows are discussing what should be done with their husbands ashes. The first widow says "I would like them to be spread over the Atlantic, as my Bill loved nothing more then to fish in the Atlantic". The second widow says "please have my Jacobs ashes spread over central park as he loved to spend many days jogging there". The third widow says "you can just give me Johnnies ashes as I plan on sprinkling them into a bowl of chili so he can tear my ass up one last time".

Whatsitoosit · 04-01-2009, 12:38 PM

Ok, I heard this one when I was in 2nd grade... not sure how much comedic value it still possesses... but here it goes.

An American man has to go to China on business and decides, while he is down there, to get himself a prostitute for the evening. As he is doing his thing, the woman keeps screaming.. "ahhh, ching chong way... AHH CHING CHONG WAY!!!!" thinking this means he is doing a good job... he continues with what he is doing and the woman continues to scream "Ching Chong Way". A few weeks later, back in America, the man is playing golf with a Chinese business associate who happens to hit a hole in one. The American man, thinking he learned some new Chinese lingo while on his trip, says "oh, Ching Chong Way!!!". The Chinese man looks at him and says "what do you mean wrong hole?"

Freebase Dali · 04-01-2009, 03:46 PM

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow whMOOOOOOOOOO

Annnndd I'm spent.

NSW · 04-01-2009, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Veridical Fiction

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow whMOOOOOOOOOO

Annnndd I'm spent.

I taught my friend's 6 year old daughter this joke, and now every time she sees me she has to tell it about 10 times. And I've had the privilege to hear it with not only a cow, but a wolf and a dog. Thankfully she's cute, so it takes the edge off hearing it for the millionth time.

Bane of your existence · 04-01-2009, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Surell

Why do so many people gravitate to Texas?

Because Oklahoma is horrible.

I think you fucked this joke up.

The way I always heard it:
Why doesn't Texas fall in to the ocean?

Cause Oklahoma sucks.

333 · 04-01-2009, 08:13 PM

What did the hat say to the hat rack?

You stay here. I'll go on a head.

Edit:

Why were the ink spots sad?

Because their mother was in the pen and didn't know how long her sentence would be.

kthedrummer · 04-01-2009, 08:18 PM

How can you spot a blind guy at a nudists colony?

It's not hard

Freebase Dali · 04-01-2009, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kthedrummer

How can you spot a blind guy at a nudists colony?

It's not hard

Lawl.

That's funny. It's also a way to spot old women.

ElephantSack · 04-01-2009, 08:50 PM

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny.

ElephantSack · 04-01-2009, 08:51 PM

Jesus Christ walks into a hotel.
He hands the Innkeeper three nails and asks,
"Can you put me up for the night?".

04-01-2009, 12:23 PM	#81 (permalink)
Whatsitoosit Bringer of Carrots Join Date: May 2008 Location: New York, NY Posts: 648	Three widows are discussing what should be done with their husbands ashes. The first widow says "I would like them to be spread over the Atlantic, as my Bill loved nothing more then to fish in the Atlantic". The second widow says "please have my Jacobs ashes spread over central park as he loved to spend many days jogging there". The third widow says "you can just give me Johnnies ashes as I plan on sprinkling them into a bowl of chili so he can tear my ass up one last time". __________________ "It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face."

04-01-2009, 12:38 PM	#82 (permalink)
Whatsitoosit Bringer of Carrots Join Date: May 2008 Location: New York, NY Posts: 648	Ok, I heard this one when I was in 2nd grade... not sure how much comedic value it still possesses... but here it goes. An American man has to go to China on business and decides, while he is down there, to get himself a prostitute for the evening. As he is doing his thing, the woman keeps screaming.. "ahhh, ching chong way... AHH CHING CHONG WAY!!!!" thinking this means he is doing a good job... he continues with what he is doing and the woman continues to scream "Ching Chong Way". A few weeks later, back in America, the man is playing golf with a Chinese business associate who happens to hit a hole in one. The American man, thinking he learned some new Chinese lingo while on his trip, says "oh, Ching Chong Way!!!". The Chinese man looks at him and says "what do you mean wrong hole?" __________________ "It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face."

04-01-2009, 03:46 PM	#83 (permalink)
Freebase Dali Partying on the inside Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 5,584	Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow whMOOOOOOOOOO Annnndd I'm spent. __________________

04-01-2009, 08:18 PM	#87 (permalink)
kthedrummer King of the Idiots Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: The free love freeway Posts: 262	How can you spot a blind guy at a nudists colony? It's not hard __________________ Your brain has the shell on it.

04-01-2009, 08:13 PM	#86 (permalink)
333 Music Addict Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 965	What did the hat say to the hat rack? You stay here. I'll go on a head. Edit: Why were the ink spots sad? Because their mother was in the pen and didn't know how long her sentence would be.

04-01-2009, 08:50 PM	#89 (permalink)
ElephantSack Man vs. Wild Turkey Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: ATX Posts: 948	How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

04-01-2009, 08:51 PM	#90 (permalink)
ElephantSack Man vs. Wild Turkey Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: ATX Posts: 948	Jesus Christ walks into a hotel. He hands the Innkeeper three nails and asks, "Can you put me up for the night?".