The Official Joke Thread

LoathsomePete · 10-08-2009, 01:36 PM

What do Terry Fox and Adolf Hitler have in common?

They both couldn't finish the race.

storymilo · 10-08-2009, 07:43 PM

A truck driver crashes into a woman, who's fault is it?

The truck driver, he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen!

Zer0 · 10-21-2009, 08:01 AM

3 blonde girls find a magic lamp and a genie pops out. "I'll grant each of you a wish" says the genie. The first blonde says "i want to be smarter". So the genie turns her into a brunette. The second blonde says "omg i want to be smarter than her", so the genie turns her into a redhead. The third blonde says "omg omg i sooo want to be smarter than the two of them put together". So the genie turns her into a man.

TyrantSong · 10-21-2009, 10:32 AM

This may have been done already, if so, I apologize.

A man walks into a bar carrying an alligator.
He calls out to everyone in the bar "I'll put my genitals in this Alligator's mouth, and if he doesn't chomp my nuts off, you all owe me a beer."
After some silence, everyone agrees. The man sets the alligator down, opens it's mouth, and slides his genitals in.
Slowly, he lowers the gator's mouth, closing it tightly.
After a minute, the man grabs a bottle and cracks the gator upside the head, causing it to open it's mouth, allowing the man to remove his unit completely unscathed.
The crowd buys the man drink after drink.
After a few minutes, the man calls out "Anyone else want to try it?"
Silence falls the crowd untill a petite blonde walks up to the man and says "I'll do it, as long as you don't hit me in the head with that bottle when I'm done."

FETCHER. · 10-21-2009, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jackhammer

A girl at work said to me that her breasts were to small so I said that you should get some toilet paper fold it and rub it between them. She asked if that really does work to which I replied-'well look what's it's done to your arse'

haha, a liked that one.

~~Odyshape~~ · 10-26-2009, 03:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoathsomePete

What do Terry Fox and Adolf Hitler have in common?

They both couldn't finish the race.

this one made me cry a little inside

Necromancer · 10-28-2009, 07:18 PM

I heard that Obama could lose the black vote in the next election, he was quoted to say that he, "Would put them back to work".

EDGE · 10-30-2009, 05:22 PM

.. Grade a thread.

ElephantSack · 11-02-2009, 03:44 PM

This is possibly the most racist joke ever:

A black guy, a Mexican and a Jew walk into a bar.
And the bartender says, "Get the **** outta here!"

Notveryskilled · 11-07-2009, 07:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by storymilo

A truck driver crashes into a woman, who's fault is it?

The truck driver, he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen!

My joke Kiddo, You got it from me.

10-08-2009, 01:36 PM	#261 (permalink)
LoathsomePete Cardboard Box Realtor Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Hobb's End Posts: 7,648	What do Terry Fox and Adolf Hitler have in common? They both couldn't finish the race. __________________ Last.FM 101 Albums That May Not Change Your Life, But I Really Like And You Might Too

10-21-2009, 08:01 AM	#263 (permalink)
Zer0 ∞ Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Ireland Posts: 3,792	3 blonde girls find a magic lamp and a genie pops out. "I'll grant each of you a wish" says the genie. The first blonde says "i want to be smarter". So the genie turns her into a brunette. The second blonde says "omg i want to be smarter than her", so the genie turns her into a redhead. The third blonde says "omg omg i sooo want to be smarter than the two of them put together". So the genie turns her into a man. __________________ Last FM \| RYM \| The Final Sound

10-21-2009, 10:32 AM	#264 (permalink)
TyrantSong Didn't kill nobody. Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Atlas, PA Posts: 144	This may have been done already, if so, I apologize. A man walks into a bar carrying an alligator. He calls out to everyone in the bar "I'll put my genitals in this Alligator's mouth, and if he doesn't chomp my nuts off, you all owe me a beer." After some silence, everyone agrees. The man sets the alligator down, opens it's mouth, and slides his genitals in. Slowly, he lowers the gator's mouth, closing it tightly. After a minute, the man grabs a bottle and cracks the gator upside the head, causing it to open it's mouth, allowing the man to remove his unit completely unscathed. The crowd buys the man drink after drink. After a few minutes, the man calls out "Anyone else want to try it?" Silence falls the crowd untill a petite blonde walks up to the man and says "I'll do it, as long as you don't hit me in the head with that bottle when I'm done." __________________ Like I said before, I just start the fires in the great Car Dealer War

11-02-2009, 03:44 PM	#269 (permalink)
ElephantSack Man vs. Wild Turkey Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: ATX Posts: 948	This is possibly the most racist joke ever: A black guy, a Mexican and a Jew walk into a bar. And the bartender says, "Get the ** outta here!" __________________ OF THE SUN**

10-08-2009, 07:43 PM	#262 (permalink)
storymilo Music Addict Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 1,845	A truck driver crashes into a woman, who's fault is it? The truck driver, he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen!

10-28-2009, 07:18 PM	#267 (permalink)
Necromancer Divination Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 2,655	I heard that Obama could lose the black vote in the next election, he was quoted to say that he, "Would put them back to work".

10-30-2009, 05:22 PM	#268 (permalink)
EDGE accidental genius Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Boston, MA Posts: 1,161	.. Grade a thread.