Do you talk to people about music IRL?

Trillian · 01-27-2014, 05:17 PM

I frequently run into this situation where someone will mention a band that they like and I'll be like "oh yeah, I like them too! Your should also check out ____, they sound kinda similar." And then from that point onward all my musical interactions with this specific person are based on the assumption that I'm an aficionado of like... 80's underground music or something, I don't know. And they think that whatever genre we've discussed is the only genre I listen to, like the time my Nana found out I had gotten a cat and only bought me cat-themed presents (including a calendar) for Christmas. Then we run into a situation where they go through my phone or something and see my music and they're like "oh wow I didn't realize you were that into music. Can I listen to it?" so I'll put it on random or something and Sigur Ros will come on and the reply is invariably "this song doesn't have words... weird". It's to the point where I can't even have a conversation with someone about music because the only thing they'll talk about is how the 70s is the best time period ever because CLASSIC RAWK IS THE BEST AND NEW MUSIC SUCKS LOL.

And then I also run into a situation when I'm first meeting someone where they'll be like, "oh, so what kind of music do you listen to" and I realize I have 2 choices.

1. I can say "oh, I like pretty much everything" - sort of true when it comes to genres, but not when it comes to specific bands. If I choose this option I risk sounding like someone who doesn't care about music, which is not someone I want to be.

2. I can actually say what I like and list a bunch of bands/genres. This can work out well and lead to an interesting conversation if the person I'm talking to also has an interest in music. However, I risk sounding like a pretentious ******* or just boring them if they don't like music.

I don't know, I've just stopped trying to talk to people about music. I usually end up being written off as "the hipster" or "the girl who listens to weird music", and honestly, I'd rather be listening to music than having an unfulfilling conversation about music with someone who doesn't really care.

So do y'all talk about music IRL? And how do you handle it when it comes up in conversation?

~~butthead aka 216~~ · 01-27-2014, 05:25 PM

what youve said makes a lot of sense and i think ppl can relate. my friends and i really dont talk about music much. my one good friend is really into rap but guys on this forum would put him to shame. he likes the 90s era stuff and introduced me to it yrs ago so sometimes we will mention about a new release or single and talka bout it for a few minutes. my other good friend really likes the beatles and radiohead lol. if we are hangin out i will throw on some newer stuff to introduce to him but he is pretty indifferent.

when someone you dont know well asks what u like its hard to answer.... 'everythin' might as well be not even answerin. its like when ppl ask 'how are ya' and we all just respond 'good, u??' it gives no insight. but if you list your fave bands and you know the other person wont know them then ya kinda sound like some pretentious underground guy.

i dunno i usually try to mention some mainstream bands that everyone in teh conversation can relate to and i at least sorta like. plus my fave bands are ghey as phuck to mention to others i am just meetin. i know the impression they will get and its not a good one so i usually try to not answer or deflect the question lol

dca · 01-27-2014, 05:38 PM

only really talk about music with 4 or 5 friends I've known for years. so we all kind of like the same things, or know what the other likes... a couple of them, literally the only thing we talk about when we meet up is music

as for talking about music with new people, not really. If you say you like "X" genre of music they'll assume you mean artists like "Y" and "Z", who invariably make the worst "X" music ever

Necromancer · 01-27-2014, 06:25 PM

I like to think of it as if we are individually on a crusade to turn the world on to the style and type of music that we as individuals like to listen to. Music is always subjective and you usually end up with more opinions rather than any actual answers when in debate and discussion with others concerning most musical related topics. And these days everyone is a self-proclaimed music critic.

xLizardx · 01-27-2014, 06:44 PM

I usually just say that it would be quicker to list the genres I don't listen to, haha. Or I say that my taste is quite eclectic and I like a bit of everything. Or I list a few genres that I like that I suspect the person I'm talking to might also like [for instance, if someone looks like a metal-head, I'm more likely to start a conversation with them about metal-core than chiptune]. This is perhaps presumptuous, but it does save time explaining that just because I'm happy to listen to say, Swedish pop music, doesn't mean I'm not also perfectly happy to listen to djent or prog or tech-core.

Trollheart · 01-28-2014, 05:32 AM

Very seldom talk to anyone about music in my situation (stuck at home with no real access to others) but if I am in that situation I'll say something like "Oh I like mostly rock, some country, classical, metal, that sort of thing. None of the chart rubbish. And I hate rap and don't like jazz." Just gives a general idea --- probably inaccurate but still --- of the sort of music I listen to. If people then ask what are my favourite bands I'll wheel out Marillion, Genesis, Dan Fogelberg, Tom Waits, Maiden and their eyes usually begin to glaze over at which point I'll just shrug and say and loads of other bands. Most people outside of music fans wouldn't know half of them anyway.

Cool name by the way: how's Zaphod these days?

misspoptart · 01-28-2014, 06:36 AM

Most conversations about music that I have in Turkey go likes this:

Me: Omg, you would love ____!
Them: Okay, I'll check it out (they never do).
Me: And have you heard of ____?
Them: No.
Me: Oh...okay.

So basically...everyone seems to be disinterested in music here.

anticipation · 01-28-2014, 07:47 AM

I have only recently made a few friends who I can talk to about music, otherwise when it comes to normal conversation music is the last thing I will bring up. It is perhaps the most frustrating act in the world trying to communicate about something you have a huge secret passion for with a person who isn't interested or isn't that into music outside of the top 40. On top of that I don't really listen to the same music as anyone I know, even my friends who I can talk to it about. I honestly prefer to just keep my music and me separate from the rest of my life, as sad as that is.

RoxyRollah · 01-28-2014, 07:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anticipation

I have only recently made a few friends who I can talk to about music, otherwise when it comes to normal conversation music is the last thing I will bring up. It is perhaps the most frustrating act in the world trying to communicate about something you have a huge secret passion for with a person who isn't interested or isn't that into music outside of the top 40. On top of that I don't really listen to the same music as anyone I know, even my friends who I can talk to it about. I honestly prefer to just keep my music and me separate from the rest of my life, as sad as that is.

RoxyRollah · 01-28-2014, 07:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by misspoptart

Most conversations about music that I have in Turkey go likes this:

Me: Omg, you would love ____!
Them: Okay, I'll check it out (they never do).
Me: And have you heard of ____?
Them: No.
Me: Oh...okay.

So basically...everyone seems to be disinterested in music here.

Hunh? I have yet to experience this here....

01-27-2014, 05:17 PM	#1 (permalink)
Trillian Groupie Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Bama Posts: 15	Do you talk to people about music IRL? I frequently run into this situation where someone will mention a band that they like and I'll be like "oh yeah, I like them too! Your should also check out ____, they sound kinda similar." And then from that point onward all my musical interactions with this specific person are based on the assumption that I'm an aficionado of like... 80's underground music or something, I don't know. And they think that whatever genre we've discussed is the only genre I listen to, like the time my Nana found out I had gotten a cat and only bought me cat-themed presents (including a calendar) for Christmas. Then we run into a situation where they go through my phone or something and see my music and they're like "oh wow I didn't realize you were that into music. Can I listen to it?" so I'll put it on random or something and Sigur Ros will come on and the reply is invariably "this song doesn't have words... weird". It's to the point where I can't even have a conversation with someone about music because the only thing they'll talk about is how the 70s is the best time period ever because CLASSIC RAWK IS THE BEST AND NEW MUSIC SUCKS LOL. And then I also run into a situation when I'm first meeting someone where they'll be like, "oh, so what kind of music do you listen to" and I realize I have 2 choices. 1. I can say "oh, I like pretty much everything" - sort of true when it comes to genres, but not when it comes to specific bands. If I choose this option I risk sounding like someone who doesn't care about music, which is not someone I want to be. 2. I can actually say what I like and list a bunch of bands/genres. This can work out well and lead to an interesting conversation if the person I'm talking to also has an interest in music. However, I risk sounding like a pretentious ******* or just boring them if they don't like music. I don't know, I've just stopped trying to talk to people about music. I usually end up being written off as "the hipster" or "the girl who listens to weird music", and honestly, I'd rather be listening to music than having an unfulfilling conversation about music with someone who doesn't really care. So do y'all talk about music IRL? And how do you handle it when it comes up in conversation?

01-28-2014, 05:32 AM	#6 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,970	Very seldom talk to anyone about music in my situation (stuck at home with no real access to others) but if I am in that situation I'll say something like "Oh I like mostly rock, some country, classical, metal, that sort of thing. None of the chart rubbish. And I hate rap and don't like jazz." Just gives a general idea --- probably inaccurate but still --- of the sort of music I listen to. If people then ask what are my favourite bands I'll wheel out Marillion, Genesis, Dan Fogelberg, Tom Waits, Maiden and their eyes usually begin to glaze over at which point I'll just shrug and say and loads of other bands. Most people outside of music fans wouldn't know half of them anyway. Cool name by the way: how's Zaphod these days? __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

01-27-2014, 05:25 PM	#2 (permalink)
~~butthead aka 216~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: freely swimmin thru the waters of glory much like a majestic bald eagle soars thru the skies Posts: 1,463	what youve said makes a lot of sense and i think ppl can relate. my friends and i really dont talk about music much. my one good friend is really into rap but guys on this forum would put him to shame. he likes the 90s era stuff and introduced me to it yrs ago so sometimes we will mention about a new release or single and talka bout it for a few minutes. my other good friend really likes the beatles and radiohead lol. if we are hangin out i will throw on some newer stuff to introduce to him but he is pretty indifferent. when someone you dont know well asks what u like its hard to answer.... 'everythin' might as well be not even answerin. its like when ppl ask 'how are ya' and we all just respond 'good, u??' it gives no insight. but if you list your fave bands and you know the other person wont know them then ya kinda sound like some pretentious underground guy. i dunno i usually try to mention some mainstream bands that everyone in teh conversation can relate to and i at least sorta like. plus my fave bands are ghey as phuck to mention to others i am just meetin. i know the impression they will get and its not a good one so i usually try to not answer or deflect the question lol

01-27-2014, 05:38 PM	#3 (permalink)
dca Music Addict Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 69	only really talk about music with 4 or 5 friends I've known for years. so we all kind of like the same things, or know what the other likes... a couple of them, literally the only thing we talk about when we meet up is music as for talking about music with new people, not really. If you say you like "X" genre of music they'll assume you mean artists like "Y" and "Z", who invariably make the worst "X" music ever

01-27-2014, 06:25 PM	#4 (permalink)
Necromancer Divination Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 2,655	I like to think of it as if we are individually on a crusade to turn the world on to the style and type of music that we as individuals like to listen to. Music is always subjective and you usually end up with more opinions rather than any actual answers when in debate and discussion with others concerning most musical related topics. And these days everyone is a self-proclaimed music critic.

01-27-2014, 06:44 PM	#5 (permalink)
xLizardx Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: UK Posts: 71	I usually just say that it would be quicker to list the genres I don't listen to, haha. Or I say that my taste is quite eclectic and I like a bit of everything. Or I list a few genres that I like that I suspect the person I'm talking to might also like [for instance, if someone looks like a metal-head, I'm more likely to start a conversation with them about metal-core than chiptune]. This is perhaps presumptuous, but it does save time explaining that just because I'm happy to listen to say, Swedish pop music, doesn't mean I'm not also perfectly happy to listen to djent or prog or tech-core.

01-28-2014, 06:36 AM	#7 (permalink)
misspoptart gimme gimme Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: istanbul Posts: 897	Most conversations about music that I have in Turkey go likes this: Me: Omg, you would love ____! Them: Okay, I'll check it out (they never do). Me: And have you heard of ____? Them: No. Me: Oh...okay. So basically...everyone seems to be disinterested in music here.

01-28-2014, 07:47 AM	#8 (permalink)
anticipation Music Addict Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 3,565	I have only recently made a few friends who I can talk to about music, otherwise when it comes to normal conversation music is the last thing I will bring up. It is perhaps the most frustrating act in the world trying to communicate about something you have a huge secret passion for with a person who isn't interested or isn't that into music outside of the top 40. On top of that I don't really listen to the same music as anyone I know, even my friends who I can talk to it about. I honestly prefer to just keep my music and me separate from the rest of my life, as sad as that is.