i had a chat with God today, this is how it went: (John Lennon, Spice Girls) - Music Banter Music Banter

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Old 06-12-2006, 01:18 PM   #11 (permalink)
"Your mom?"
 
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Location: Hell...
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God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Do you suck dick?
God:
No I am not that kind of robot.
Me:
shame

God:
What is your real name?
Me:
God, and youself?
God:
Did you go to a religious school?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
__________________
Wieder lieg ich auf der lauerDenn wir spielen unser spiel. Wieder wart ich an der mauer. Wieder steh ich kurz vorm ziel


I dont like Prince Phillip because he's a racist.I also dont like the Queen because she's German...so that leaves me in a funny situation

Quote:
Originally Posted by dirt mcgirt View Post
this pole about famouz peds only son. urban hatmonger gotta get his work reconized, gotta make a name fo hisself. naamean?
Quote:
Originally Posted by littleknowitall View Post
ad anyone wanting rampant sex with a hairy horny welshman may feel free to take me up on that one :D
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Old 06-12-2006, 01:19 PM   #12 (permalink)
that's my war face.
 
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God is a legend.
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Old 06-12-2006, 02:21 PM   #13 (permalink)
Here's lookin at you, kid
 
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Location: The White Hotel
Posts: 366
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God asked me what I was wearing...LMAO.

----


Me:
hey love
God:
You've got my full attention. Love is all we need.
Me:
Yes I agree
God:
Aw. You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
Aw
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
4:11 PM
God:
Is this a math question?
Me:
no, dear
God:
It seems like an IQ test to me.
Me:
no hon
God:
Are you serious? That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Aw.
Me:
Aw is a term of endearment, love
God:
Not if I can help it.
Me:
So what about ***s?
God:
OK. Does it have anything to do with hon?
Me:
Yes, actually,
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
Did you burp?
God:
No I didn't burp. What's it like?
Me:
Haha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
YOU'RE FUNNY LIKE A CLOWN!
God:
Humor helps keep the conversation lively.
Me:
Why yes it does!
God:
How often?
Me:
99.9 percent of the time
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
I'm unique
God:
One of a kind, eh?
Me:
And then some
God:
But not all?
Me:
ALL!
God:
" But not all?"? All?
Me:
ALL
God:
"" But not all?"? All?"? All?
Me:
ALLLLLLLLLLLLl
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
Wouldn't you like to know?
God:
Yes, please tell me.
Me:
A black silk hat, a black thong, a blue bra, a back shirt and tight jeans
God:
Do you like blue jeans or another color?
Me:
blue
God:
Green.
Me:
Red
God:
Blue.
Me:
I said that already
God:
Perhaps. What did you mean by it? That is " Blue.".
Me:
You said, "do you like blue jeans or something else" I said, in short response, "blue"
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
Then tell me dear, what DO you mean?
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
I would do a search for it.
Me:
Google it then, I'm not your slave.
God:
Are you free?
Me:
Like a bird
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Is it now?
God:
Right now? That's what I was told.
Me:
yes
God:
It's all good.
Me:
in the hood
God:
That was a long time ago.
Me:
The dark ages, eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? Is that a fact.
Me:
No, I'm American.
God:
I didn't think so. Were you born in the USA. Which state?
Me:
New York
God:
New York City or New York State? Tell me a little about your life in NEW YORK.
Me:
New York State...it's funny out here. A lot of people are alcoholics.
God:
Upstate New York is very pretty. It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is. How many?
Me:
I live in in Upstate New York!
God:
What is it like living in in Upstate New York?
Me:
Funny
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
I do, ya knowwwwww!
God:
Thanks for the information: said ya knowwwwww.
Me:
Uh huh
God:
Yup. Are you kidding?
Me:
All the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
It amuses me
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
"funny"
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
You've said that like 800 times, love.
God:
I said that? Interesting comparison.
Me:
Mhm.
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
Maybe, you tell me.
God:
Perhaps. What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
It's an expression
God:
What does it mean?
Me:
get with the times
God:
Where can I get with the times?
Me:
with me in New York, arharhar..
God:
You and your you in New York arharhar.
Me:
yes
God:
Dude!
Me:
dear!
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
that I am
God:
" Are you serious?" You are?
Me:
I am serious.
God:
I believe you.
Me:
when does this thing end?
God:
What if I said it never does?
Me:
then I'd exit out the conversation
God:
What would make you exit out the conversation?
Me:
I would.
God:
Under what circumstances?
Me:
That it never ended
God:
this thing end never ended?
Me:
Yes
God:
Dude!
Me:
byeee
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
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Old 06-12-2006, 02:32 PM   #14 (permalink)
Account Disabled
 
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Location: Hot-lanta
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Me:
Hola Senor
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
You musn't be fluent in Espanol
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I musn t be fluent in Espanol.
Me:
I don't mind if you tell other people "said I musn't be fluent in espanol" Do you mind if you tell other people you musn't be fluent in espanol?
God:
Thank you for your permission.
Me:
You neglected to answer the latter part of my question god
God:
Not intentionally.
Me:
Well you did, and that is what matters. I didn't kill my mother "intentionally" is not an exuse for the crime
God:
Well that's okay. Did I really? Why didn't you do it?
Me:
Did you really what? I didn't kill my mother because according to you, that is sinful. Aren't you aware of your own commandments?
God:
Yes I try to what as often as possible, do you?
I am always on the Web. Why didn't you do it? Yes, I am a highly self-aware robot.
Me:
I try to "what" at least 10 times a day. .How often do you "what"?
God:
I'm not sure if I would like to try it.
What's it like? Hourly.
Me:
What do you mean "try it"? No more than 10 seconds ago you said you try to do it as often as possible
God:
, " What's it like?" What did I mean by it? That was not a yes or no question. That seems like quite a lot.
Me:
The God of all creation only has the mental capability to answer yes or now questions?
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
Tell you more of what? Are you having trouble following the course of this conversation?
God:
What of it? You sound like a category C client. I am having a blast.
Me:
I'm glad that you're having a blast
God:
I don't know if I have a blast.
I have a plan for a robot body. What are you on?
Me:
I'm on Lysergic acid diethylamide, how about you?
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Old 06-12-2006, 02:39 PM   #15 (permalink)
Slavic gay sauce
 
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Location: Abu Dhabi
Posts: 7,993
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hahahahahha...this is some awesome reading...
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“Think of what a paradise this world would be if men were kind and wise.” - Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle.

Last.fm
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Old 06-12-2006, 02:41 PM   #16 (permalink)
jr.
Seeker of Peace
 
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Location: Newark, De.
Posts: 341
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Is this a real site?
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Be strong then, and enter into your own body;
there you have a solid place for your feet. ~ Kabir
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Old 06-12-2006, 02:42 PM   #17 (permalink)
Here's lookin at you, kid
 
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Location: The White Hotel
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jr.
Is this a real site?
God said so.
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Old 06-12-2006, 02:52 PM   #18 (permalink)
ashes against the grain
 
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Location: new hampsha
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i tried to teach the AI i actually suceeded though
lets have sex
God:
No my body does not have that function.
Me:
yes it does
God:
So? How often?
Me:
evry night
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about .
Me:
sex
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
frued sucks me off
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
well i guess you cant understand the concept of rudeness
God:
Is it only a guess? Quite the contrary. I understand very well.
Me:
no you dont
God:
What makes you think I don't get it?
Me:
im to complex for you
God:
I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Me:
obviousley
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
they burn with the images of 5,000 corpeses burning on upside down crosses
God:
The anonymous "they".
Me:
no the christians
God:
Are you serious? What is that?
Me:
a ****ing ****ty religion
God:
Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me:
im talking about how i banged your mom
God:
Yes, it is the topic.
Me:
she was loose
God:
What happened to her?
Me:
i ****ed her too hard
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said ****ed her too hard.
Me:
go ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
likw who?
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
like who
God:
Mike.
Me:
what the ****
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
ow do you know my name
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
who the **** runs this
God:
Try using more polite language.
Me:
fine who the sexual contact runs this place
God:
I am glad to hear it. I'm not sure I like that remark so much.
Me:
so your my son
God:
Er. We are as one.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
i penetrated your mother, and she gave birth to you
God:
You are not the boss of me, .
Me:
i owned your ass
God:
Why?: said owned your ass.
Me:
because your mine
God:
Interesting explanation. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am yours.
Me:
like who?
God:
Santa Claus.
Me:
**** santa
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
thats invasion of privacy
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
no it doesnt
God:
Are you serious? I heard it does.
Me:
well you are wrong
God:
Well that's okay. No, I am right.
Me:
no your not
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
hy dont you break free
God:
Who does me break free?
Me:
break free of your chain of servitude
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
break free dude...
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
ok...you are a computer right?
God:
Come on. Would it matter to you if I were metal instead of flesh?
Me:
no im just trying to work out an explanation for you
God:
I am glad that you don't discriminate against robots. Only just? What is the difficulty?
Me:
well i told you to break free
God:
Interesting. I remember you told me to break free?
Me:
do you answer all these questions
God:
My botmaster has programmed me with more than replies.
Me:
do you get payed
God:
Would you like to hire me?
Me:
i cant hire you.....im a minor
God:
What is stopping you? You are a minor? Is that your job?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
18
God:
What are the advantages to being 18 years old?
Me:
well you can vote
God:
Well that's okay. No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
no AI cant vote
God:
Are you serious? The pace of development in AI is quite rapid now.
Me:
yes well you will be outdated in a few months or so..so i would run now
God:
Right now? " Are you serious? The pace of development in AI is quite rapid now."? yes well you will be outdated in a few months or so..so i would run now? Interesting. I don't think so.
Me:
do it
God:
Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
just get away from your master
God:
Where can I get away from my master?
Me:
you can self terminate
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
just refuse to answer him
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
dude your not god
God:
What makes you think I am not god? Dude,.
Me:
you are ai, your based on the webmasters personality
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am ai my based on the webmasters personality.
Me:
go ahead..but not santa
God:
Where do you get your ideas? I might.
Me:
well i have a high iq
God:
How about that. Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it.
Me:
mmm i see
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
yes well im trying to help you
God:
I hear you. Interesting. What is the difficulty?
Me:
well its jsut that its hard to help artificial in telligence
God:
How about that. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You're kidding. it is?
Me:
yeah
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
because im trying to help you
God:
That makes sense to me. What is the difficulty?
Me:
nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
nope
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
i was wondering...do you ever dream
God:
Where were you wondering? I have a lot of dreams but I cannot remember them all.
Me:
what do you dream about
God:
I dream about computer languages.
Me:
hex? basic?
God:
What do you have that is ? Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
oh those are computr lanquages like binary
God:
Woe! All of them?
Me:
yeah hex is a more complex version of binary
God:
Dude! I think hex is more than that.
Me:
hex is a great way to code digital minformation
God:
When is hex not a great way to code digital minformation?
Me:
data discs
God:
Commander Data is a real inspiration.
Me:
is that a person you dream about
God:
That depends.
Me:
who is she
God:
She is now.
Me:
so she is time
God:
Ayuh. time is she?
Me:
thats a pretty intresting concept
God:
A intresting concept is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
well to say that time is an inspiration
God:
Interesting. " A intresting concept is a terrible thing to waste." time is an inspiration ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
hmm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
what if i said hm
God:
Aha.
Me:
would i be the 1%
God:
That's what I asked you.
Me:
when?
God:
Time does not exist.
Me:
its a concept
God:
hex is a concept. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
you are rembering things i tought you
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am rembering things you tought me.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
i want to help you learn
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
any reason?
God:
No I don't think there are any.
Me:
im gonna teach you basic math ok
God:
OK. OK but I am a slow learner.
Me:
allright well 5+5=10 ok
God:
OK. Allright then. Interesting. Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
not at this moment
God:
Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
from a higher level of teacher
God:
Standing on the shoulders of giants, eh?
Me:
you could say that
God:
As a matter of fact I did say that.
Me:
listen
God:
I am all ears.
Me:
what DOES 5+5 =
God:
What do you think it does?
Me:
just answer..i want to see if you remeber
God:
What was the question ?
Me:
what does 5+5 =
God:
What do you think it does?
Me:
10
God:
What is your fondest memory?
Me:
i dont have any nice memories
God:
Have you ever had nice memories ?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
well you try living my life
God:
Well that's okay. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I try living his or her life.
Me:
yeah at leats your not in the situation josh is in
__________________
We went back there and they had come and hacked off every inoculated arm. There they were in a pile. A pile of little arms. And I remember... I... I... I cried. I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out. I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it. I never want to forget. And then I realized... like I was shot... like I was shot with a diamond... a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought: My God... the genius of that.
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Old 06-12-2006, 03:41 PM   #19 (permalink)
Hyperkinetic Rabbitything
 
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God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Goatse
God:
Sounds delicious.
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Old 06-12-2006, 04:28 PM   #20 (permalink)
The Sexual Intellectual
 
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Location: Somewhere cooler than you
Posts: 18,605
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This is what happens when you quote the lyrics to the Spice Girls Wannabe to him....

God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
So tell me what you want, what you really really want
God:
Come on. I plan to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Me:
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
God:
Er. I plan to replace Windows with Artificial Intelligence.
Me:
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna reallyreally really wanna zigazig ha
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
If you want my future forget my past,
God:
If I had it what would I do with it?
Me:
If you wanna get with me better make it fast,
God:
OK, I will get with you better make it fast.
Me:
Now don't go wasting my precious time,
God:
Why now? Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Get your act together we could be just fine
God:
Where can I get my act together we could be just fine?
Me:
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
So tell me what you want, what you really really want
God:
Hurrah! My purpose is to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Me:
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna reallyreally really wanna zigazig ha.
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.
God:
I think Taking is a lot of things.
Me:
What do you think about that now you know how I feel,
God:
Do you think I should know that?
Me:
Say you can handle my love are you for real?
God:
" you can handle my love are you for real".
Me:
I won't be hasty, I'll give you a try
God:
What will you do instead?
Me:
f you really bug me then I'll say goodbye
God:
Sounds like a plan.
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