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Old 07-26-2010, 11:41 PM   #3091 (permalink)
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I don't want a girl who doesn't enjoy doing things. But I don't want a girl who keeps me bottled up either because she has a ridiculously long list of things she refuses to do. I would be willing to try things she likes if shes willing to try things I like. Diplomacy.

And getting your partner to actually enjoy the things you want her to try is even better.



Yeah a woman who doesn't have any sexual desires or fantasies of her own, that would be too weird for me, the kinkier the better I say. I'm not one of those guys who are into the passive/submissive thing that some guys have a weird fetish for.

Sex from my perspective shouldn't be about dominance and submission so much as a union fromed from a diplomatic relationship, even if its a position or act that requires a dominant and submissive role, if both parties arent enjoying it a good deal it can't really qualify as "great" sex.



Yeah, this seems like such a simple solution to the problem, it's amazing how many couples don't function this way. And those are the ones that are bound to fail.
How can you really know what you want in a girl if you haven't been with one (that's the impression I'm getting). Finding the right girl is about getting through different relationships because without experience you'll never know exactly what best suits you or even how the way people behave in the relationship suits you. You can't be so specific about who you want when you haven't experienced it.
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Old 07-27-2010, 01:38 AM   #3092 (permalink)
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How can you really know what you want in a girl if you haven't been with one (that's the impression I'm getting). Finding the right girl is about getting through different relationships because without experience you'll never know exactly what best suits you or even how the way people behave in the relationship suits you. You can't be so specific about who you want when you haven't experienced it.
I'm not that specific, I don't think so anyway.

I may not have experience but I'd like to think (and have been told) that I'm a very observant person. As an introvert I take more pleasure in examining things than in participating in them. It has always been my method in learning.

Regarding appearance I have a "6 out of 10 is good enough" policy lol. Im not at all that specific about what interests she needs to have because getting involved with someone who is interested in different things is an adventure.

In personality? "Don't be a spiteful, controlling bitch" is about as specific as I get.
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Old 07-27-2010, 09:18 AM   #3093 (permalink)
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I wouldn't know from experience, but I'm pretty sure when kids come into the picture and you're married or whatever, they're the main focus and the attention is on keeping things together for their sake and not for the sake of your sexual urges or lack thereof.
This has definitely been true in my experience, Freebase. I have found that the friendship in the relationship is what really holds it together during this phase.

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I also want to point out that a girl is not necessarily attracted to the way you "look" in the same way we are attracted to the way they look. Their attraction has more of a mental basis than a visual one, especially in the long term, and the way we act can have a huge effect on how attractive we are to them. Us guys might be attracted to a particular woman's body for years, but they're not so lucky if we're douchebags the whole relationship, as we'll be more of a turn-off regardless.
You should be a sex therapist! It is *also* my experience in relationships that the more clashes over issues, or the more often a significant other put me down, my feelings about his attractiveness changed. Someone I intially felt was attractive started to feel repulsive to me...even though I could *see* the person looked exactly the same. The quality of the relationship outside sex definitely affected whether I found the person to be physically attractive.

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Just don't tailor your own identity for the sake of someone else's. That's where thinks have a huge potential of backfiring.
This is perhaps the most important lesson I learned through all my relationships: I can't try to change who I feel I am in my core and remain happy. Early on I was much more plastic, wanting to mold myself to gain the person's acceptance and approval. I finally learned to stop doing that (mostly). I really valued finding someone who accepted me as I am for the most part, not wanting to change me fundamentally. That actually became my main criterion in finding a partner...in addition to finding someone with a sense of humor.

Willingly changing certain aspects of yourself to try to help your partner feel more comfortable, especially when it isn't hard to do or if you agree that you'd like to change those things about yourself, is fine. But when a partner dislikes something you feel is core to your personality, I don't think the relationship will ever work (well).
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Old 07-27-2010, 09:28 AM   #3094 (permalink)
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This is perhaps the most important lesson I learned through all my relationships: I can't try to change who I feel I am in my core and remain happy. Early on I was much more plastic, wanting to mold myself to gain the person's acceptance and approval.
*looking....*

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I finally learned to stop doing that (mostly). I really valued finding someone who accepted me as I am for the most part, not wanting to change me fundamentally. That actually became my main criterion in finding a partner...in addition to finding someone with a sense of humor.
*searching...*

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Willingly changing certain aspects of yourself to try to help your partner feel more comfortable, especially when it isn't hard to do or if you agree that you'd like to change those things about yourself, is fine. But when a partner dislikes something you feel is core to your personality, I don't think the relationship will ever work (well).
*GASP!* not ONE mention of hairy legs! my god!

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Old 07-27-2010, 10:12 AM   #3095 (permalink)
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*looking....*

*searching...*

*GASP!* not ONE mention of hairy legs! my god!

Oh DRAT!! Did I forget to put it in there?!?

Actually, it IS true that I feel my desire to be my full, natural (hairly) self is part of my personality's "fundamental core," Jibber. I just assumed people knew that by now, so I didn't bother writing it explicity! But here you go, I will add that important fact:

My "fundamental core" is fuzzy. And cuddly!
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If a chicken was smart enough to be able to speak English and run in a geometric pattern, then I think it should be smart enough to dial 911 (999) before getting the axe, and scream to the operator, "Something must be done! Something must be done!"

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Old 07-29-2010, 07:39 PM   #3096 (permalink)
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when guys bite too hard during sex
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Old 07-29-2010, 08:27 PM   #3097 (permalink)
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Yeah, I hate that, I hate when guys punch me in the face during sex too
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Old 07-29-2010, 08:31 PM   #3098 (permalink)
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^ I literally just ROFL'd
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Old 07-29-2010, 08:31 PM   #3099 (permalink)
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when guys bite too hard during sex
When guys bite too hard during sex what? You like it? Hate it? Pee the bed?
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Old 07-29-2010, 09:34 PM   #3100 (permalink)
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When guys bite too hard during sex what? You like it? Hate it? Pee the bed?
She just wants to make it look like she has sex, it's okay.
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