What Mischief Do You Get Up To At Work?

right-track · 05-28-2009, 03:04 PM

One of the lads brought in a sample of fish tank water because his fish were dying, to take to the local pet shop for analysis...that got pissed in.

Last summer we used to play football in our dinner break and one of the lads regularly used an atomiser/spray container filled with water to cool himself down afterwards...that got pissed in.

Car owners have been known to drive home with custom made reg plates made by some of the lads off the shop floor in the past...TWAT1/WANKER5 and A.C.A.B. are among some of the favourites.

Flicking chocolate moose all over the works toilet seat (for that authentic bottom explosion effect) along with an added handprint on the inside of the toilet door is a firm favourite when someone new starts.

Mirrorball95 · 06-24-2009, 07:16 PM

Right its about time I posted in this thread, had been meaning to put these to video for a while. Basically I made some recordings of me noising up customers at work and generally just being a clown. I used to work with a guy who used to participate also but hes since moved on.

I recorded this on my phone to play on the tanoi when people pul into the forecourt/get out their cars etc (after getting sick of saying it all the time):
I like to use random accents when addressing customers (mostly the ones I dont know), I know it sounds nothing like borat but that was all I could think of.

Heres the proof, I added some pics to spice it up a bit.

Now someone told me about this Sweding Process thing they had seen people do in a shop in some movie(before you all rip into me with what movie its from), so I thought Id try it out on some poor gullable bloke who only wanted a Double Decker.

Some people are on happy pills:

Neil is the guy who 'works' at the car wash next door, I like to play this on the tanoi when hes on his way down for £50 worth of scratchcards.

I sometimes play this on the tanoi when people are leaving:

Astronomer · 06-24-2009, 11:26 PM

Haha some of these are hilarious...

I work at a school so I don't get up to any mischief. The kids do though.

Mirrorball95 · 06-25-2009, 07:02 AM

Well it would be a bit ironic if you joined in with them though lol
Ive got some more recordings(including sweeding the guy another 3 times) but cant be arsed putting them to video right now.
Well I got very bored on the nightshift about a week ago so decided to decorate a couple of things...

Mirrorball95 · 06-25-2009, 07:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shiseido red

Once, when I was doing my teaching rounds at a high school, a year 9 kid drew a picture of a penis. It was really funny (think, Superbad, at the end with all the penis pictures). Instead of reprimanding him I just laughed at it.

So your a 'cool' teacher then?

.

cheezyridr · 06-26-2009, 02:39 PM

i once worked as a draftsman for a mechanical contractor. apparently someone was annoyed at all the safety regs there. they posted a sign that read:

ATTENTION:
All turds longer than 5.75" and having a circumfrence greater than 3.387"
and or a weight of more than 60 grams must be lowered into the bowl manually to avoid chemical splash-back according to OSHA code 714 article 12, section 2. Anyone dispensing material into this receptacle must make available the appropriate MSDS for each substance.
Remember, safety is everyones business!!!

it's not exact, but that's as close as memory allows after 10 years of not working there

~~someonecompletelyrandom~~ · 06-26-2009, 06:20 PM

That's hillarious!

I sometimes answer the phones with a british accent.. heh.

Mirrorball95 · 06-26-2009, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sonace

That's hillarious!

I sometimes answer the phones with a british accent.. heh.

Hey! That's a good, but risky idea. Ive never done it on answering the phone. For instance if its the tanker driver, and I act english on the phone , then I therefore have to act english when he arrives & most of them know me so they would know I was taking the piss. Also, some of them are english lol.
Thats the hardest thing is when you decide to be english but then a queue forms and you have to keep it up (without laughing) for the rest of them...
I need to amuse myself at work and having Neil Young or whatever music Im listening to blaring simply isnt enough lol.

EDIT: What do you make of the pictures. I like to clean the toilet i.e. mop the floor and kid on I cleaned it lol. I dont do nightshift all the time so I can get away with it nae bother.

Astronomer · 06-26-2009, 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sonace

That's hillarious!

I sometimes answer the phones with a british accent.. heh.

Once when I was out with friends I decided to put on a British accent for the entire night. People were asking me how long I'd been in Australia and stuff. I even scored free drinks as a welcome into Australia!

LoathsomePete · 06-26-2009, 07:39 PM

Before I became a forklift driver at the last lumberyard I worked at I was training a new worker on what the product is and where it is in the yard. However I feeling like a prick and decided to teach him the wrong pronunciations of certain types of wood. For example OSB (a particle board cheap plywood) became pronounced Au-sb and G1S (good 1 side, one side of the plywood has been sanded and finished) became jizz, MDO (a thin smooth surface has been put on one side of the plywood) became Mm-D'oh, and MDF (Compressed particle board, but much nicer quality than OSB, usually used for cabinets and desks) became Mm-Def. It was hilarious when he went on the radio asking if an available forklift could restock the 3/4 jizz plywood. Our boss actually got onto the radio and asked him what he called it and why he was being such an idiot. They never let me teach again

06-26-2009, 07:39 PM	#30 (permalink)
LoathsomePete Cardboard Box Realtor Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Hobb's End Posts: 7,648	Before I became a forklift driver at the last lumberyard I worked at I was training a new worker on what the product is and where it is in the yard. However I feeling like a prick and decided to teach him the wrong pronunciations of certain types of wood. For example OSB (a particle board cheap plywood) became pronounced Au-sb and G1S (good 1 side, one side of the plywood has been sanded and finished) became jizz, MDO (a thin smooth surface has been put on one side of the plywood) became Mm-D'oh, and MDF (Compressed particle board, but much nicer quality than OSB, usually used for cabinets and desks) became Mm-Def. It was hilarious when he went on the radio asking if an available forklift could restock the 3/4 jizz plywood. Our boss actually got onto the radio and asked him what he called it and why he was being such an idiot. They never let me teach again __________________ Last.FM 101 Albums That May Not Change Your Life, But I Really Like And You Might Too

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05-28-2009, 03:04 PM	#21 (permalink)
right-track Atchin' Akai Join Date: May 2005 Location: Unamerica Posts: 8,723	One of the lads brought in a sample of fish tank water because his fish were dying, to take to the local pet shop for analysis...that got pissed in. Last summer we used to play football in our dinner break and one of the lads regularly used an atomiser/spray container filled with water to cool himself down afterwards...that got pissed in. Car owners have been known to drive home with custom made reg plates made by some of the lads off the shop floor in the past...TWAT1/WANKER5 and A.C.A.B. are among some of the favourites. Flicking chocolate moose all over the works toilet seat (for that authentic bottom explosion effect) along with an added handprint on the inside of the toilet door is a firm favourite when someone new starts.

06-24-2009, 11:26 PM	#23 (permalink)
Astronomer we are stardust Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 2,894	Haha some of these are hilarious... I work at a school so I don't get up to any mischief. The kids do though.

06-26-2009, 02:39 PM	#26 (permalink)
cheezyridr Music Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: sunny canadia Posts: 131	i once worked as a draftsman for a mechanical contractor. apparently someone was annoyed at all the safety regs there. they posted a sign that read: ATTENTION: All turds longer than 5.75" and having a circumfrence greater than 3.387" and or a weight of more than 60 grams must be lowered into the bowl manually to avoid chemical splash-back according to OSHA code 714 article 12, section 2. Anyone dispensing material into this receptacle must make available the appropriate MSDS for each substance. Remember, safety is everyones business!!! it's not exact, but that's as close as memory allows after 10 years of not working there

06-26-2009, 06:20 PM	#27 (permalink)
~~someonecompletelyrandom~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 4,538	That's hillarious! I sometimes answer the phones with a british accent.. heh.