The coming out thread - Take II

[tommy gun]

I took the Kinsey scale test last year and got a 5. I took it again today and got a 6. I've somehow outgayed myself.

[downwardspiral]

I've never come out as such, I personally think it's completely redundant and unnecessary. You don't go to your parents/friends and announce that you're straight, so why should gay/bi people have to make an exception?

A few of my friends know, but it's just because it's been relevant at a particular time for me to mention it in a conversation.

[Mondo Bungle]

I've always considered myself asexual because I just have never been interested in a relationship like that with anyone. But I've recently developed strong feelings towards another guy, and it's really the first time I've felt like that about anyone. Probably wasn't asexual after all, just never ever had any romantic feelings toward anyone, but the right person could bring them out I guess.

[Chula Vista]

Took the test and scored a zero.

My mother, born in 1930, was gay her entire life. From as early as she can remember she was attracted to women. After graduating nursing school in the late 50s she succumbed to family and social pressures and tried the whole hook up with a guy, buy a house with a white picket fence, and squeeze out a few kids thing (boy, am I glad for that!). It didn't last. My folks got divorced when I was two and I grew up in a home with my mom, her partner, my two sisters and her partners daughter.

Straight, gay, bi? Who gives a crap. The fact that homophobia still exists in this day and age is one of the most depressing things about the human race.

[Paul Smeenus]

Originally Posted by Chula Vista

Took the test and scored a zero.

My mother, born in 1930, was gay her entire life. From as early as she can remember she was attracted to women. After graduating nursing school in the late 50s she succumbed to family and social pressures and tried the whole hook up with a guy, buy a house with a white picket fence, and squeeze out a few kids thing (boy, am I glad for that!). It didn't last. My folks got divorced when I was two and I grew up in a home with my mom, her partner, my two sisters and her partners daughter.

Straight, gay, bi? Who gives a crap. The fact that homophobia still exists in this day and age is one of the most depressing things about the human race.

You can view things that way if you want to, but the way I see things the progress made in this area is simply astonishing. I'm not claiming that the world is perfect but remembered the world in the 1960's compared to the world of today, where same-sex marriage is legal and increasingly common in just astounding and wonderful.

At least here in Washington state

[Chula Vista]

Originally Posted by Paul Smeenus

the way I see things the progress made in this area is simply astonishing

100% agreed.

[GuD]

whoopwhoop
gay parents club!

[adidasss]

Originally Posted by adidasss

The process is not finished though, I still haven't told my parents. I was waiting to become financially independent but it's still a difficult choice to make. I'm still dwelling on the positive and negative sides of telling them. On the one hand, it would be the final blow to the closet and I know I would finally be completely free to live my life to the fullest. On the other hand I have to prepare myself to their (almost certainly) dramatic and negative reactions. That day will come, however, regardless of the fallout. At the end of the day, they are my parents and they deserve to know.

So flash forward 7 years and now I can say that I am fully out to my family, hurray!

I sort of made a deal with myself that I would come out if and when I meet that special someone and that happened some 5 years ago so after I was dating my partner for a few months I took the plunge and told my mother. Slightly less dramatic than telling my sister but probably even harder to do emotionally. My sister I told via text message, my mother I told face to face. And boy was it hard to get the words out.

She said she knew...she also said she would have preferred it if I hadn't told her. But almost immediately, like my sister, she went into the whole "I'm worried what will happen to you", not just about the prejudice but also HIV etc. So I assured her I'm very safe etc.

That was about 5 years ago. about a year later, my father found out, through my mother, because my boyfriend was coming to visit my home town and was staying at my house! I thought it was going to be quite dramatic but in the end they shook hands, my father spent the rest of the holiday hiding somewhere and then we proceeded not to speak to each other for about a year.

My mother is now quite fond of my boyfriend I think, although unfortunately, he is spanish and so they can't really communicate since my parents don't speak English. She makes food for him when we come home, asks me about him over the phone. We've come a long way.

My father this summer made also a big step forward and didn't hide away this time, but greeted my boyfriend and said goodbye and even "see you" to him in English when we were leaving! That was really heartwarming. There is still much progress to be made and I doubt they will ever really have a close relationship with my boyfriend but I'm ok with that.

So, the moral of the story is that, a lot of gay people are really terrified of telling their family and think the worst will happen, and unfortunately, sometimes it does. But most of the time, once the initial shock is over, things settle down and then there is a great sense of relief and liberation, and your relationship is allowed to grow since now you don't have to hide this very important part of you. So it is very much worth the effort.

P.s. My eldest sister has gradually warmed up to my boyfriend also, mostly because, unlike me, he has an amazing taste in everything so he buys her affection with presents. My brother on the other hand, I thought was ok with the whole story, turns out still can't really get over it so he mostly avoids us when we come home. But the best twist in this story is that, a few months ago, his only daughter, my niece, came out to me and my sister as a lesbian!! My mind was fucking blown away, I had NO idea!!

So, now it's her turn to come out to the rest of the family, including her homophobic parents. It will be interesting, she is my parents' only granddaughter (my brother has a son also)...

[Trollheart]

So cool to hear good news on a Monday. Glad things worked out for you addidass. You know, your name has always been part of MB history for me, as you were here long before me so I never knew you then, but always noted you as the originator of the "Your Day" thread. Congrats anyway and I hope you're very much in love (and that your parents eventually learn enough Spanish or English to be able to communicate with your guy).

Edit: Oh, and The Bitch Box too!

[MicShazam]

Even if there's still a ways to go, it's great that it worked out.

Can't imagine how it must be having to bet everything on coming out.