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Old 02-11-2012, 10:04 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default life spinning out of control (again)

every time i take action to get better my life, outside forces come in and seem to send my life spinning out of control again.

this cycle has repeated itself many times over the past few years, and i have learned to except it, however, dealing with it is far less easy.

no matter what i do to improve my life, it only seem to get worse. any advice?

PS- most recently i have stopped doing drugs (all but alcohol) and regardless, no drug makes it better, it merely relieves the stress temporarily. so don't tell me to smoke a bowl and relax.
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Old 02-11-2012, 10:10 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I'd never suggest smoke a bowl and relax, because that's not a quick fix for anyone.

If there's something legitimately going wrong, drugs aren't the answer. Self-medication is never what's going to most feasibly help you.

I would know; I've been addicted to Heroin and other opiates, an attempt to fix myself.

Basically, I'd suggest even removing the alcohol. A period of time without anything remotely mind-altering helps a lot. I found that alcohol has the potential to make things worse, before I really took time off and "met myself".

Once you're sober and get an idea of what's going on, it's a little bit easier to stay happy. Not a lot, but a little bit.
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Old 02-11-2012, 11:05 PM   #3 (permalink)
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What are these steps you're taking to get your life into what kind of shape?
And what are the outside forces?

It's kind of hard for someone to give advice worth anything more than a hallmark card cliche' without any actual details about what's going on.
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Old 02-12-2012, 08:01 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThePhanastasio View Post
I'd never suggest smoke a bowl and relax, because that's not a quick fix for anyone.

If there's something legitimately going wrong, drugs aren't the answer. Self-medication is never what's going to most feasibly help you.

I would know; I've been addicted to Heroin and other opiates, an attempt to fix myself.

Basically, I'd suggest even removing the alcohol. A period of time without anything remotely mind-altering helps a lot. I found that alcohol has the potential to make things worse, before I really took time off and "met myself".

Once you're sober and get an idea of what's going on, it's a little bit easier to stay happy. Not a lot, but a little bit.
I never realised that. I myself have been addicted to opiates too, which is specially hard now that I need them for a condition I have.
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Old 02-12-2012, 08:35 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I know we are trying to stray away from drugs, but getting an evaluation from a shrink might not hurt. You might have mild depression, ocd or some type of impairment thats preventing you from thinking rationally, you'd have to be a lab rat for a few weeks while they try various medications but it might work.

Chances are, if you were a serious drug addict before, your brain simply doesn't know how to make endorphines on its own because you already fried your pleasure senses.
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Old 02-13-2012, 12:17 AM   #6 (permalink)
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My father has issues with drugs and from my experiences with him I think it is crucial to have someone to be real about your addiction with. He is the kind of man who puts up all kinds of fronts and is always repressive and very closed in. It seems as though he finds security in not revealing himself but at the end of the day he needs someone he doesn't have to lie to. I have made progress over some time and got him to open up to me bit by bit.

Before he completely hided his problems from me and my family completely and he was crazy stressed out all the time and sometimes had outbreaks. But ever since he has gotten more comfortable with me things have been going better. He may not have the strength to figure out some of the drug issues but at least he doesn't have to be so ashamed about it as he was before.

*If you don't want to read a lot skip to the next "*"


Maybe find some one you trust or extend your trust more and try to get some support from some one close to you. Its amazing how much people can get in control when they have support but its hard to accept support (I definitely know that one!) because its scary to think what people will think of your problems.

So much so that a lot of the time we lie to ourselves about what those problems are and mold them into what we perceive is socially acceptable, and when we take our morphed problems that we mold to be socially accepted we can never truly be addressed or solve them because when we talk to people about them it isn't reflecting the essence of the issue. At the very worst it can lead us into the wrong direction! and make us feel as though we are weird or strange. When really it was the tangential construction of our problems to form them to be more accepted that was weird or strange that we mistake for reality.


*Basically I think we have a tendency to mold how we vocalize our problems to be less embarrassing when we talk to people about it. By doing this we cause ourselves to be alienated when the answers don't make sense and we forget that the answers don't make sense because how we discussed our problems weren't truly reflective of how we really felt about our problems. I think our unwillingness to be honest about our issues is largely the source of our inability to accomplish long term goals. Being able to express yourself openly is a very natural and healthy to build long term confidence and overcome long term goals.

I hope that makes at least a little sense. Tell me if it doesn't and I will clarify somethings (I am not the best writer).
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Old 02-13-2012, 01:02 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by muleonmushrooms View Post
every time i take action to get better my life, outside forces come in and seem to send my life spinning out of control again.

this cycle has repeated itself many times over the past few years, and i have learned to except it, however, dealing with it is far less easy.

no matter what i do to improve my life, it only seem to get worse. any advice?

PS- most recently i have stopped doing drugs (all but alcohol) and regardless, no drug makes it better, it merely relieves the stress temporarily. so don't tell me to smoke a bowl and relax.
Its tricky trying to stay positive when life deals you bad cards. Been there and dealt with it myself. At all costs try to keep positive and I would certainly recommend leaving out the alcohol also. Maybe set some goals for yourself to try and attain what makes you happy. A step by step approach always helps. I'd certainly recommend talking to someone also as many have recommended, sometimes bouncing ideas off others can be really introspective and helpful.

I had to take a perspective look at what would really make me happy before I could actually be happy. Not sure what circumstances your dealing with, but i'm sure you'll work it out in time.
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Old 02-13-2012, 02:02 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I don't believe in much (at best all I have is a good idea), but I do believe in two things. The first can be summed up in a quote from Carl Sagan:

"We are a way for the cosmos to know itself"

The second thing I believe I don't have a thought provoking quote for, but it's relevant nonetheless. Everything that happens to you is meant to teach you something. This goes hand in hand with the Sagan quote. The only way the universe can know itself is if we experience it. If something happens to you over and over, you haven't learned the lesson you are meant to learn.

Now, you can take that with a grain of salt...but this philosophy has been the only thing that keeps me going. I've been through hard times. I've been through good times. Honestly, I've found the bad times to be much more frequent because - let's face it - how much do we really learn from the good times? All I know is that it won't last forever and once it is over, I can look back and think about what I've learned about myself.

Then the only problem is coping. For that I meditate. I listen to music. If you stay calm and make logical decisions, you will find that things will get better sooner than you think.
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Old 02-13-2012, 02:42 PM   #9 (permalink)
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My advice is to count your blessings. Think about the good things you have in life, it will help keep you positive. I got into Buddhism when I was going through tough times, it really helped. I'd suggest doing some reading on the subject. Try doing some meditation exercises.
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Old 02-13-2012, 05:23 PM   #10 (permalink)
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You know the way to deal with life kicking the crap out of you? Embrace it. We are alive and living. It is not always enjoyable but there are ALWAYS, ALWAYS people worse off than you or me.

The seemingly insurmountable obstacles that life throws before you can be hurdled no matter how high they seem. Trust me and besides it's better to stand up and face the challenge than to hide from it at and at least you have seen your true character.
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Last edited by jackhammer; 02-13-2012 at 05:30 PM.
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