I need serious advice

**Exo** · 03-28-2013, 05:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart

Once again I'm just bumping this up before it falls off page one, to ask how things are going now? I'm sure you're probably busy but I'm still thinking of ya as Easter approaches and hoping it'll be a more relaxing one than you've had in a while.

Chocolate frenzy!

You're a good person Trollheart. I was actually thinking of updating you guys but haven't had the time to so so.

Ryan has been in a psychiatric ward for about ten days now. He comes home tomorrow. He's going to be going to therapy sessions five times a week for a good amount of time to help him come to terms with what he's going through in his head. I think the last two weeks have been an eye opening experience for him and it's been showing when I go visit. Hopefully he'll decide to change his life for good instead of for a short amount of time like this past winter.

It took a toll on our family for good and bad. My mother and I have stayed strong but my father took some serious shots to his mental health as well. He's a very deeply emotional person and this almost killed him. I've been spending time with him giving him advice as best as I can to get him thinking better. He'll be okay.

Tomorrow is a big day. I'll update in a week to let you know how he's doing once he spends a whole week at home.

Thanks again for asking Troll....

Trollheart · 03-28-2013, 06:06 PM

That's great to hear, Exo. See this is (I know you know) why I was reluctantly advocating what seemed like harsh advice to some people. While I know you love your brother (and I'm sure deep down under all that messed-up drug stuff he loves you too) I was concerned about how this was affecting you and your parents. Sometimes it's the hard choices that have to be made, but I'm delighted it didn't have to come to that, and that things are slowly working out for you now.

Hope your dad will be okay. How's your mother by the way?

Hope you all have a great Easter.
Best
TH

**Exo** · 06-05-2014, 06:15 PM

I felt the need to update certain people who cared enough on what is going on with my brother.

Some of you may know what he has been in trouble with the law recently. In short, he was arrested for attempting to rob a gas station with a machete for drug money. He turned 21 years old today. Well, he's in jail.

His big court date was on Monday. They were deciding whether or not he was eligible for drug court which would have led to him missing jail time. The jail time he would have served if he had not gotten in would be close to five years. He was given drug court but was ordered to pass weekly drug tests until they could get him into rehab on July 2nd. If he failed a test, they would revoke his bail and stick him in county lockup so that he could be safe and not OD on drugs. Well, he failed the first test he was given. He tested positive for heroin, weed, and crack cocaine. The crack was a real shocker to me but I knew of the heroin use.

For months my brother has been claiming he has been clean but over the last couple weeks things started disappearing again and he would disappear for hours only to return a zombie. He would fall asleep with cigarettes in his hand and almost light the house on fire. Now, I moved out two months ago so I've been steering clear of the destruction but my parents are spent. My dad is severely depressed and my mother, while strong as ever, is getting tired.

Oh, I forgot about this. Three weeks ago my brother stopped breathing because he took eight percocet at once. My mother had to give him CPR and ultimately saved his life. He got arrested with possession of heroin, xanax, and weed a week and a half later.

So, now he's in jail until June 23rd by which he'll be transferred to a long term rehab, perhaps being there for a couple months I hope. When he gets out his drug probation starts and if he fails a drug test he goes to jail for his original crime, the robbery, and will be in jail for five years.

So it's up to him. I am all over the place with it. I think I'm fine and then I'll just start crying out of nowhere. I did it the other day when I got pulled over by cops. I started arguing with them about how I didn't do anything wrong. I never do this. I'm always polite. One of the cops spotted something was wrong and asked me if I was okay and I just started losing it. They let me go. Other times I'm very angry at him, like when I talk to my dad and see wgat he has done to him. I know I'll be enjoying the time off from him and so will my parents whether they like it or not.

Well, there you have it. It's in his hands now. Hopefully he doesn't spend the rest of his life in jail or in a casket. It's all on him.

Carpe Mortem · 06-05-2014, 06:30 PM

As someone who has dealt with family going to jail and dying due to drugs, I can tell you right now that it's best to assume he won't be around much longer. I know that's really negative but unfortunately its the way the cookie crumbles. If he ends up having the motivation to get better, which can only come from within, that's great. I wish the best for your situation.

**Scarlett O'Hara** · 06-05-2014, 06:58 PM

I hope you are okay Exo. I can't even imagine how hard it is for you and your family. I hope that with eventual rehab (and experiencing jail) he will realise drugs are ruining more than just his own life. It's hard though because people who go to rehab really need to go willfully or they can end back on the drugs again. I'm no expert though.

~~hate paper doll~~ · 06-05-2014, 07:58 PM

You and your parents are really strong Exo, and you've handled the situation well if you don't mind me saying so. I hope you three will be able to use the time away from your brother to focus on your own health - maybe through therapy, maybe through Al Anon. Even if your brother gets sober there's a lot of work to be done as a family, and should he choose not to stay clean your parents will have the skills to stay strong and set boundaries.

DwnWthVwls · 06-05-2014, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carpe Mortem

As someone who has dealt with family going to jail and dying due to drugs, I can tell you right now that it's best to assume he won't be around much longer. I know that's really negative but unfortunately its the way the cookie crumbles. If he ends up having the motivation to get better, which can only come from within, that's great. I wish the best for your situation.

This..

I'm from a small town and saw plenty of peoples' lives go down the drain due to heroin (lost a few along the way as well). If you do care best advice I can give is support him when he's doing well, and stay away when he isn't. You don't need to get dragged down with him or feel depressed.

If it was me, I wouldn't have a problem writing him off completely. I'm kinda dead inside with that kind of stuff. Not enough time to live to waste my life dealing with that non-sense.

FRED HALE SR. · 06-06-2014, 08:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Exoskeletal

I felt the need to update certain people who cared enough on what is going on with my brother.

Some of you may know what he has been in trouble with the law recently. In short, he was arrested for attempting to rob a gas station with a machete for drug money. He turned 21 years old today. Well, he's in jail.

His big court date was on Monday. They were deciding whether or not he was eligible for drug court which would have led to him missing jail time. The jail time he would have served if he had not gotten in would be close to five years. He was given drug court but was ordered to pass weekly drug tests until they could get him into rehab on July 2nd. If he failed a test, they would revoke his bail and stick him in county lockup so that he could be safe and not OD on drugs. Well, he failed the first test he was given. He tested positive for heroin, weed, and crack cocaine. The crack was a real shocker to me but I knew of the heroin use.

For months my brother has been claiming he has been clean but over the last couple weeks things started disappearing again and he would disappear for hours only to return a zombie. He would fall asleep with cigarettes in his hand and almost light the house on fire. Now, I moved out two months ago so I've been steering clear of the destruction but my parents are spent. My dad is severely depressed and my mother, while strong as ever, is getting tired.

Oh, I forgot about this. Three weeks ago my brother stopped breathing because he took eight percocet at once. My mother had to give him CPR and ultimately saved his life. He got arrested with possession of heroin, xanax, and weed a week and a half later.

So, now he's in jail until June 23rd by which he'll be transferred to a long term rehab, perhaps being there for a couple months I hope. When he gets out his drug probation starts and if he fails a drug test he goes to jail for his original crime, the robbery, and will be in jail for five years.

So it's up to him. I am all over the place with it. I think I'm fine and then I'll just start crying out of nowhere. I did it the other day when I got pulled over by cops. I started arguing with them about how I didn't do anything wrong. I never do this. I'm always polite. One of the cops spotted something was wrong and asked me if I was okay and I just started losing it. They let me go. Other times I'm very angry at him, like when I talk to my dad and see wgat he has done to him. I know I'll be enjoying the time off from him and so will my parents whether they like it or not.

Well, there you have it. It's in his hands now. Hopefully he doesn't spend the rest of his life in jail or in a casket. It's all on him.

Wow thats pretty heavy man. I'm really sorry to hear about him failing the drug test man. I figured things had spiraled out of control enough for him to seek out help and want to do the right thing. I feel for you and you parents man thats something i've never had to deal with from a family standpoint. Friends have had these issues and me alike, but its somehow easier to take when its not your blood. I'll tell my family to pray for him in their prayer circles. Wish you guys the best man and I hope things can turn around for you soon.

Plankton · 06-06-2014, 08:47 AM

Hopefully this is his 'bottom', although some people don't have one. The thing is, you can't 'make' someone get off of drugs, they need to find that path on their own. The best way to look at it for now is that his life will be prolonged from being locked up, after that it's a slippery slope. I truly hope he finds the strength to make a new start after all is said and done.

Good luck, and god speed.

The Batlord · 06-06-2014, 12:08 PM

Bad as it sounds prison might be the best thing for him. If five years locked up can't scare you straight then I don't know what will.

03-28-2013, 06:06 PM	#92 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,970	That's great to hear, Exo. See this is (I know you know) why I was reluctantly advocating what seemed like harsh advice to some people. While I know you love your brother (and I'm sure deep down under all that messed-up drug stuff he loves you too) I was concerned about how this was affecting you and your parents. Sometimes it's the hard choices that have to be made, but I'm delighted it didn't have to come to that, and that things are slowly working out for you now. Hope your dad will be okay. How's your mother by the way? Hope you all have a great Easter. Best TH __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

06-05-2014, 06:15 PM	#93 (permalink)
Exo All day jazz and biscuits Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: NJ Posts: 7,359	I felt the need to update certain people who cared enough on what is going on with my brother. Some of you may know what he has been in trouble with the law recently. In short, he was arrested for attempting to rob a gas station with a machete for drug money. He turned 21 years old today. Well, he's in jail. His big court date was on Monday. They were deciding whether or not he was eligible for drug court which would have led to him missing jail time. The jail time he would have served if he had not gotten in would be close to five years. He was given drug court but was ordered to pass weekly drug tests until they could get him into rehab on July 2nd. If he failed a test, they would revoke his bail and stick him in county lockup so that he could be safe and not OD on drugs. Well, he failed the first test he was given. He tested positive for heroin, weed, and crack cocaine. The crack was a real shocker to me but I knew of the heroin use. For months my brother has been claiming he has been clean but over the last couple weeks things started disappearing again and he would disappear for hours only to return a zombie. He would fall asleep with cigarettes in his hand and almost light the house on fire. Now, I moved out two months ago so I've been steering clear of the destruction but my parents are spent. My dad is severely depressed and my mother, while strong as ever, is getting tired. Oh, I forgot about this. Three weeks ago my brother stopped breathing because he took eight percocet at once. My mother had to give him CPR and ultimately saved his life. He got arrested with possession of heroin, xanax, and weed a week and a half later. So, now he's in jail until June 23rd by which he'll be transferred to a long term rehab, perhaps being there for a couple months I hope. When he gets out his drug probation starts and if he fails a drug test he goes to jail for his original crime, the robbery, and will be in jail for five years. So it's up to him. I am all over the place with it. I think I'm fine and then I'll just start crying out of nowhere. I did it the other day when I got pulled over by cops. I started arguing with them about how I didn't do anything wrong. I never do this. I'm always polite. One of the cops spotted something was wrong and asked me if I was okay and I just started losing it. They let me go. Other times I'm very angry at him, like when I talk to my dad and see wgat he has done to him. I know I'll be enjoying the time off from him and so will my parents whether they like it or not. Well, there you have it. It's in his hands now. Hopefully he doesn't spend the rest of his life in jail or in a casket. It's all on him. __________________ LastFM SUPREME POO BAH MODERATOR EXTRAORDINAIRE

06-05-2014, 06:30 PM	#94 (permalink)
Carpe Mortem Crusher of tiny Nords Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: Ugly Bag of Mostly Water Posts: 1,363	As someone who has dealt with family going to jail and dying due to drugs, I can tell you right now that it's best to assume he won't be around much longer. I know that's really negative but unfortunately its the way the cookie crumbles. If he ends up having the motivation to get better, which can only come from within, that's great. I wish the best for your situation. __________________ [SIG][/SIG] Mirth is King Be Loving & Open With My Emotions

06-05-2014, 06:58 PM	#95 (permalink)
Scarlett O'Hara Make it so Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 6,181	I hope you are okay Exo. I can't even imagine how hard it is for you and your family. I hope that with eventual rehab (and experiencing jail) he will realise drugs are ruining more than just his own life. It's hard though because people who go to rehab really need to go willfully or they can end back on the drugs again. I'm no expert though. __________________ "Elph is truly an enfant terrible of the forum, bless and curse him" - Marie, Queen of Thots

06-06-2014, 08:47 AM	#99 (permalink)
Plankton Just Keep Swimming... Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: See signature... Posts: 7,766	Hopefully this is his 'bottom', although some people don't have one. The thing is, you can't 'make' someone get off of drugs, they need to find that path on their own. The best way to look at it for now is that his life will be prolonged from being locked up, after that it's a slippery slope. I truly hope he finds the strength to make a new start after all is said and done. Good luck, and god speed. __________________ See location...

06-05-2014, 07:58 PM	#96 (permalink)
~~hate paper doll~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Apr 2014 Posts: 423	You and your parents are really strong Exo, and you've handled the situation well if you don't mind me saying so. I hope you three will be able to use the time away from your brother to focus on your own health - maybe through therapy, maybe through Al Anon. Even if your brother gets sober there's a lot of work to be done as a family, and should he choose not to stay clean your parents will have the skills to stay strong and set boundaries.