TFW you get home from work, see a 📦 on the porch and realize it was delivered to the wrong address.


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yJxCdh1Ps48

^ Yeah, that's sad. :(

TFW you are such a bad-ass mofo that you click Submit Reply without clicking Preview Post first! Yeah baby!

I often don't do that but still manage a high quotient of spelling errors. Go me!

That feel when your girlfriends mom is an abusive bitch and dating cop, so you make her watch Se7en because she has no cable television.

You should have whipped out your dick. That'd show her.

I feel like this right now.

TFW you skipped work and felt like **** all day and all you want to do is take a bong rip, fall asleep to A Knights Tale, and dream nice dreams about Shannyn Sossamon.

One of those movies you thought would be faggy dreck as a dickbag teenager but then you actually watched it and it was hella fun.

And one and two and three and four you can hit me all day cause you punch like a... what?

TFW some pleb spells it "beastiality".

Must be ruff.

It's the dog's bollocks.

You like missprelled words?

They're like catdick.

Tfw you and Mindfulness are the only two people online

Tfw you eat a couple of gummy bears then expect to feel a little bit higher because you're used to edibles but they're just regular gummy bears yet you still feel a little bit higher anyways.

lmao

tfw your spider bite is looking and feeling much more worrisome than any regular spider bit ought to

yeah

I got bit in the jugular. ****er gave me gout in my neck, shoulder, and back right before the biggest DG tournament of the year. The Uric Acid build-up from my body trying to fight off the venom. Cherry extract helped with that.

Get some Benadryl if you can, it'll help with the initial system shock.

TFW someone puts in their two week notice and you're like awesome we've been meaning to fire you anyways, today is actually your last day.

there's some high pus activity

Now this is the quality content I'm looking for

TFW you find a 4Shared download link and feel legit nostalgia.

TFW there's a very small cut on your lip that doesn't hurt at all but when you find it with your tongue it feels exactly like a loose hair from your mustache and you go to pull it out.

https://media.giphy.com/media/bBRjIW001tjLG/200.gif

You're reminding me of all the times I've been without a job. Having a routine is kinda nice but holy **** not having a routine not only is a breeze but leads you down a mental rabbit hole that makes you crazier than you could ever hope for.

**** that, I just wish I could get day drunk more often.

I mean same but without UBI the two are irreconcilable. I guess I could be a rich kid but until my mom stops being lazy that's not really possible.

Yeah I have a day a week I can sleep in. Feels good till I wake up and realize I have work tomorrow.

Kinda no. I came to the conclusion that I was being a paranoid crazy person so I'm chill now about my job. At least as chill as I ever was.

90% of your contentment with life will come from having a good climate inside your skull, so that's probably for the better.

I had a day recently where I got really angry about things, really easy. It reminded me how good I'm feeling these days. I used to be angry like that very often. Now I'm chill and haven't been really depressed for over 1 full year.

My own explanation is that my work to have a better attitude about life has paid off.

Drugs not hugs.

I like hugs though. The highlight of my day was when one of the really cute women at work gave me a farewell hug because she's leaving for another job.

I mean I'd like boobs on my chest but I have more likelihood of a bowl.

Tfw you've been texting back and forth with the girl you like. May be hanging out soon. I've missed this.

You should tell her the phone she's holding probably contains cobalt mined by African children.

Yeah, that'll really push this to the next level.

That's a cool feeling. Hope it goes well Ki.

Thanks. It's pretty cool to just have someone to talk to honestly.