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Old 01-17-2013, 10:21 PM   #22001 (permalink)
Make it so
 
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Originally Posted by Freebase Dali View Post
So today, I had an aerial view of a really wicked car accident.
I work on the third floor of a building whose walls are basically windows that overlook a busy street. We hear wrecks from time to time, but the one that happened this morning was pretty awesome.

We hear a screech, followed by a very large couple bangs, and all run to the windows, because we could tell... this wasn't a fender-bender.
By the time I could see the wreck, one of the cars and a large part of the road was almost completely ablaze. The driver exited the passenger side and stumbled to the side of the road. After a few moments, he runs back to the car and retrieves from inside the car what looked like his wallet. I thought, "Ok, that's probably dumb, but I can understand."
Then after a moment, he runs back AGAIN and retrieves what looked like his cell phone. At that point, I considered him a moron.

Fortunately for him, he wasn't blown up or set on fire. Unfortunately for me, he wasn't blown up or set on fire.

The rest of the day was rather uneventful.
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Old 01-17-2013, 10:24 PM   #22002 (permalink)
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I'm totally buying that house that's for sale.


I knew somebody would comment on that.
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Old 01-18-2013, 01:41 AM   #22003 (permalink)
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I finally parted with my U2 collection. It took me a long time to collect it all, but it was just sitting in a bag in my attic and seemed a waste. Slight pang of nostalgia when it was gone, but at least I'm £200 better off!
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Old 01-18-2013, 03:08 AM   #22004 (permalink)
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(cold-spell casts geneva to fog, its gray somehow blurring into the blank and becoming an appropriate backdrop to this then: the goblin's d-day with the dentist, well not really, it's that first year dental student, "...hi there, call me benny hill, please sit down, comfortable..." as he whips out a syringe with a smile and a style straight out hitchcock's psycho shower scene "...now stay still, no need to clinch the chair tight like that, this will only take a moment...", smiles, looks puzzled, takes another look at the ex-ray, grasps the idea, nods his head, smiles again, stabs and injects "...there that wasn't too bad was it, now I am just going to clear out that cavity..." the goblin feels as if he is going very slowly up the highest roller coaster ride in his life, the student drills a bit, retracts to drill, makes golf swings in the air "...yes, like that I think, how am I doing..." the goblin dare not reply, he drills on "...rinse please mr. flea..." puts bibs and bobs the goblin's mouth, drills then whoops, out comes a small white gyrating object on the end of his drillhead "...whoops, sorry, we'll just put another cotton swab in then won't we...", but the goblin stupidly replies "...actually could we try a sandbag instead..." a joke which seems to earn him a gag they call a dig but is in fact an ancient chinese water-torture where goblins slowly drown in their own saliva while probably singing to themselves o come all yee spacemen, ride over, the goblin returns to reality wherever that ever was)
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Old 01-18-2013, 05:07 AM   #22005 (permalink)
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Supposed to be going into college today to my cardiovascular assessments, but the jackass I pick up never gave me my petrol money yesterday and is saying he is bring blood up today. I know he is bull****ting, he is my brother-in-laws little brother and he told me his dad died of cancer, when he didn't, he died of a heart attack. How do I get this dick out of my car? I'm too nice to turn round be all "I just don't want to drive you there anymore because you ****ing LIE"
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i havent i refuse to in fact. it triggers my ptsd from yrs ago when i thought my ex's anal beads were those edible candy necklaces
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Keep it in your pants scottie.
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Old 01-18-2013, 05:57 AM   #22006 (permalink)
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Drinking wine straight after i get up....Hmmm
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Old 01-18-2013, 07:59 AM   #22007 (permalink)
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Did I ever mention how much I hate the polish? One of the fucking spastics drove out of a junction and into the side of my car. I swear I dunno how much more of this shit I can take. I'm either going to smoke myself into retardation or fucking drink myself there.
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i havent i refuse to in fact. it triggers my ptsd from yrs ago when i thought my ex's anal beads were those edible candy necklaces
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Keep it in your pants scottie.
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Old 01-18-2013, 09:35 AM   #22008 (permalink)
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Did I ever mention how much I hate the polish? One of the fucking spastics drove out of a junction and into the side of my car. I swear I dunno how much more of this shit I can take. I'm either going to smoke myself into retardation or fucking drink myself there.
How do you know he/she was Polish?
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If you can't deal with the fact that there are 6+ billion people in the world and none of them think exactly the same that's not my problem. Just deal with it yourself or make actual conversation. This isn't a court and I'm not some poet or prophet that needs everything I say to be analytically critiqued.
Metal Wars

Power Metal

Pounding Decibels- A Hard and Heavy History
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Old 01-18-2013, 12:28 PM   #22009 (permalink)
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Final case for my hash possession, after being on probation since 2011, it's finally ****ing over, case dropped. Feels like a second wind, there's a metaphorical ball and chain attatched to you whenever you are in the kegal system, of course there is a 6 month + $150 to clear the charges, but **** it, can't wait to get out of that hell hole.
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Old 01-18-2013, 01:00 PM   #22010 (permalink)
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Did I ever mention how much I hate the polish?
At least it makes you car nice and shiny
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