Music Banter

Go Back   Music Banter > Artists Corner > Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry
Register Blogging Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read
Welcome to Music Banter Forum! Make sure to register - it's free and very quick! You have to register before you can post and participate in our discussions with over 70,000 other registered members. After you create your free account, you will be able to customize many options, you will have the full access to over 1,100,000 posts.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-20-2006, 09:19 AM   #1 (permalink)
The Forums Sadistic Ghost
 
Ma Cherie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: beyond midnight, in the abyss of time, the syren in the night
Posts: 457
Lightbulb A poem

Across the nightmare

in the darkness
you find the light
i only know
my fear and blight

across the nigtmare
my love refined
truth and light
they intertwine

my once sore thoughts
my vindictive scars
i die once again
Among all the stars

my thoughts betrayed
the petals lie bare
their broken in dream
and wore from ware

the truth be known
in love and life
it all becomes
alittle trife
__________________
I'm not a freak on a leash, I'm just the freak holding the leash.

http://www.myspace.com/yukiko_mori

Ma Cherie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-20-2006, 08:13 PM   #2 (permalink)
you are freakin out, man
 
creepinson's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: ajax, ontario
Posts: 129
Default

holy crap no definitions

although the rhythmic flow is acceptable (only barely, thanks to terribly forced rhymes) the flow between ideas is terrible

nothing ties in with the last, and it just seems like a jumble of words... i would be amazed if you could tell me what its about, because it seems like you just did your best to piece some pretty words together... really cosmetic really shallow... have a nice ****in day
creepinson is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2006, 05:21 AM   #3 (permalink)
a l'amou fou pou tout
 
Crazy Luv's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: NY
Posts: 355
Default

It sounds pretty. but some of the words....yea...
& can you tell us the point, i wanna see if i got it right or not.
Crazy Luv is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Similar Threads
  • Poem about everything, Games, Lists, Jokes and Polls Forum, 12 replies
  • Poem, :O, Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry Forum, 0 replies
  • poem, Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry Forum, 5 replies
  • another poem, Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry Forum, 2 replies
  • Other poem, Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry Forum, 4 replies



2003-2019 Advameg, Inc.

SEO by vBSEO 3.5.2 ©2010, Crawlability, Inc.