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Old 03-19-2006, 06:39 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Also maybe you should call it bridge sound because you have that in bold alot so maybe that should be the name of it
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Old 03-19-2006, 07:03 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Who would want to steal lyrics like this?
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Old 03-19-2006, 07:18 PM   #23 (permalink)
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no man, not these lyrics. The stealing thing, hes talking about his other lyrics that we will never see, his "better" work.
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Old 03-19-2006, 08:17 PM   #24 (permalink)
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....Too much Cheeze....too much suck....too Cliche
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Old 03-19-2006, 08:40 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Quit ripping off Hawthorne Heights, its not healthy.
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Ive seen you on muiltipul forums saying Metallica and slayer are the worst **** you kid go suck your **** while you listen to your ****ing emo **** I bet you do listen to emo music
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Old 03-19-2006, 10:48 PM   #26 (permalink)
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shes wanted alot more than you are you ass. theres no need for swearing, it just shows how childish and stupid you are and this is reflected in your crappy,lame, cheesy, cliche music. songwriting is something you should give up because you aint ever gonna be good at it if you keep disrespecting people who are trying to give you help. so why don't go off somewhere else, cause your definately not wanted here.

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Old 03-19-2006, 11:54 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Quote:
How about you shut the **** up and don't post where your obviously not wanted. I want criticism about the song, not some **** ass chick in here bein a dumb ass and bashin on me. Leave me alone and post somewhere where your ****ing wanted.
she's right. If you want to get respect give respect. Dont hate on people that say you suck when you asked them to criticize you in the first place.

anyways your best line is:
You are my cocaine
and I need you all the same

your good lines are underlined, your bad ones are bold, others are meh.

I saw you in my head
I was lying in my bed
the picture of your face
brought me to this place


The reasons I love you
there arent just a few
you are what keeps me alive
and thats why I strive
to get more of this drug
a drug that I call love

You are my cocaine
and I need you all the same


bridge sound

Just the thought of you,
It cuts me deep and through,
wishing you were here,
I would hold you close and near,
oh so far away,
I'll see you another day,

but for the time being,
I will remain dreaming


bridge sound

Do I talk to much,
am I just enough
am I what you need
or should I take heed
Am I in the dark,
are you just leaving your mark,
oh I love you so,
I will never let you go

bridge sound

I hope this never ends,
I love you more than just friends
will you always love me,
will you always hold me,
I will always love you,
I will always be true,
you can count on me,
to help you to be free
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Old 03-20-2006, 07:42 AM   #28 (permalink)
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okay, sorry guys, I did act A LOT out of line. I'm sorry for all of that. Mostly the reason was because bungalow was telling me that I pretty much suck, she was criticizing my ability to write more than the song itself. I apologized to her for all of that so its all in the past. Lets start this one off new, SORRY EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!
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Old 03-20-2006, 07:48 AM   #29 (permalink)
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Thank you Jadix for your comment on that, thats the kind of stuff I need, not criticism on how I should give up songwriting.....EITHER/OR. Thank you H.I.M for your comment, haha, I don't think I'll be naming it bridge sound, that would be pretty lame, hahaha, but thanks anyways. Even though it was sarcastic, Crazy Luv, thanks for that comment I guess.....haha, you guys will see some of my better music in the future, I just got here, so I would like to get a good first impression before I go posting deeper or better stuff.

AGAIN, I'M SORRY TO EVERYONE FOR THE WAY I ACTED, I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT AND I APOLOGIZE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 03-20-2006, 05:06 PM   #30 (permalink)
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my first comment wasnt sarcastic though, & you're welcome det, can i call you det?
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