no title...yet (Ching)

~~under~~ · 03-19-2006, 06:39 PM

Also maybe you should call it bridge sound because you have that in bold alot so maybe that should be the name of it

A_Perfect_Sonnet · 03-19-2006, 07:03 PM

Who would want to steal lyrics like this?

Crazy Luv · 03-19-2006, 07:18 PM

no man, not these lyrics. The stealing thing, hes talking about his other lyrics that we will never see, his "better" work.

Laces Out Dan! · 03-19-2006, 08:17 PM

....Too much Cheeze....too much suck....too Cliche

sleepy jack · 03-19-2006, 08:40 PM

Quit ripping off Hawthorne Heights, its not healthy.

either/or · 03-19-2006, 10:48 PM

shes wanted alot more than you are you ass. theres no need for swearing, it just shows how childish and stupid you are and this is reflected in your crappy,lame, cheesy, cliche music. songwriting is something you should give up because you aint ever gonna be good at it if you keep disrespecting people who are trying to give you help. so why don't go off somewhere else, cause your definately not wanted here.

loser

Jadix · 03-19-2006, 11:54 PM

Quote:

How about you shut the **** up and don't post where your obviously not wanted. I want criticism about the song, not some **** ass chick in here bein a dumb ass and bashin on me. Leave me alone and post somewhere where your ****ing wanted.

she's right. If you want to get respect give respect. Dont hate on people that say you suck when you asked them to criticize you in the first place.

anyways your best line is:
You are my cocaine
and I need you all the same

your good lines are underlined, your bad ones are bold, others are meh.

I saw you in my head
I was lying in my bed
the picture of your face
brought me to this place

The reasons I love you
there arent just a few
you are what keeps me alive
and thats why I strive
to get more of this drug
a drug that I call love
You are my cocaine
and I need you all the same

bridge sound

Just the thought of you,
It cuts me deep and through,
wishing you were here,
I would hold you close and near,
oh so far away,
I'll see you another day,
but for the time being,
I will remain dreaming

bridge sound

Do I talk to much,
am I just enough
am I what you need
or should I take heed
Am I in the dark,
are you just leaving your mark,
oh I love you so,
I will never let you go

bridge sound

I hope this never ends,
I love you more than just friends
will you always love me,
will you always hold me,
I will always love you,
I will always be true,
you can count on me,
to help you to be free

Dead Eternity · 03-20-2006, 07:42 AM

okay, sorry guys, I did act A LOT out of line. I'm sorry for all of that. Mostly the reason was because bungalow was telling me that I pretty much suck, she was criticizing my ability to write more than the song itself. I apologized to her for all of that so its all in the past. Lets start this one off new, SORRY EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!

Dead Eternity · 03-20-2006, 07:48 AM

Thank you Jadix for your comment on that, thats the kind of stuff I need, not criticism on how I should give up songwriting.....EITHER/OR. Thank you H.I.M for your comment, haha, I don't think I'll be naming it bridge sound, that would be pretty lame, hahaha, but thanks anyways. Even though it was sarcastic, Crazy Luv, thanks for that comment I guess.....haha, you guys will see some of my better music in the future, I just got here, so I would like to get a good first impression before I go posting deeper or better stuff.

AGAIN, I'M SORRY TO EVERYONE FOR THE WAY I ACTED, I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT AND I APOLOGIZE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crazy Luv · 03-20-2006, 05:06 PM

my first comment wasnt sarcastic though, & you're welcome det, can i call you det?

03-19-2006, 08:17 PM	#24 (permalink)
Laces Out Dan! I love Puck Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: British Columbia Posts: 4,614	....Too much Cheeze....too much suck....too Cliche __________________ We are entirely smooth, We admit to the truth, We are the best at what we do.

03-19-2006, 10:48 PM	#26 (permalink)
either/or Don't think twice Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: A basement on the hill Posts: 352	shes wanted alot more than you are you ass. theres no need for swearing, it just shows how childish and stupid you are and this is reflected in your crappy,lame, cheesy, cliche music. songwriting is something you should give up because you aint ever gonna be good at it if you keep disrespecting people who are trying to give you help. so why don't go off somewhere else, cause your definately not wanted here. loser __________________ Painstaking devotion and love Surrendered to self preservation From others who care for themselves A blindness that touches perfection But hurts just like anything else Isolation, isolation, isolation

03-20-2006, 07:42 AM	#28 (permalink)
Dead Eternity Groupie Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Carpentersville...ughh Posts: 19	okay, sorry guys, I did act A LOT out of line. I'm sorry for all of that. Mostly the reason was because bungalow was telling me that I pretty much suck, she was criticizing my ability to write more than the song itself. I apologized to her for all of that so its all in the past. Lets start this one off new, SORRY EVERYONE!!!!!!!!! __________________ sorry guys

03-20-2006, 07:48 AM	#29 (permalink)
Dead Eternity Groupie Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Carpentersville...ughh Posts: 19	Thank you Jadix for your comment on that, thats the kind of stuff I need, not criticism on how I should give up songwriting.....EITHER/OR. Thank you H.I.M for your comment, haha, I don't think I'll be naming it bridge sound, that would be pretty lame, hahaha, but thanks anyways. Even though it was sarcastic, Crazy Luv, thanks for that comment I guess.....haha, you guys will see some of my better music in the future, I just got here, so I would like to get a good first impression before I go posting deeper or better stuff. AGAIN, I'M SORRY TO EVERYONE FOR THE WAY I ACTED, I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT AND I APOLOGIZE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! __________________ sorry guys

03-19-2006, 06:39 PM	#21 (permalink)
~~under~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,056	Also maybe you should call it bridge sound because you have that in bold alot so maybe that should be the name of it

03-19-2006, 07:03 PM	#22 (permalink)
A_Perfect_Sonnet Dinosaurus Rex!!! Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Winchester, VA Posts: 896	Who would want to steal lyrics like this?

03-19-2006, 07:18 PM	#23 (permalink)
Crazy Luv a l'amou fou pou tout Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: NY Posts: 355	no man, not these lyrics. The stealing thing, hes talking about his other lyrics that we will never see, his "better" work.

03-20-2006, 05:06 PM	#30 (permalink)
Crazy Luv a l'amou fou pou tout Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: NY Posts: 355	my first comment wasnt sarcastic though, & you're welcome det, can i call you det?