doesn't have a title yet. (track, Hang)

shatteredheartfallendream · 04-20-2006, 01:46 PM

I'm not completely finished with it, It really needs work. Beware, it's only the chorus, but I wanna know if it's good to start out with...

Setting Sun

Love between two

falls like stars

from the midnight blue

I cared and shared,

but got stabbed in the back.

Letting this nightmare run it's track.

My day has come I will not fear

the light in the distance will soon be near.

you will be sorry and you will pay

for all that **** you did to me that day.

I would love some constructive criticism if at all possible. Just say what you like about it (or don't) and what needs to be removed or changed! It would help alot!

shatteredheartfallendream · 04-28-2006, 02:49 PM

yea I edited it, it's coming along quite nicely I think.

shatteredheartfallendream · 04-28-2006, 04:22 PM

Anyone? (I'm spamming again

)

04-20-2006, 01:46 PM	#1 (permalink)
shatteredheartfallendream Groupie Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: A place called nowhere (in other words ask) Posts: 39	Nightmares and Love I'm not completely finished with it, It really needs work. Beware, it's only the chorus, but I wanna know if it's good to start out with... Setting Sun Love between two falls like stars from the midnight blue I cared and shared, but got stabbed in the back. Letting this nightmare run it's track. My day has come I will not fear the light in the distance will soon be near. you will be sorry and you will pay for all that ** you did to me that day. I would love some constructive criticism if at all possible. Just say what you like about it (or don't) and what needs to be removed or changed! It would help alot! __________________ If you** look into a mirror, holding a dozen roses, you will see 13 of the most beautiful things.

04-28-2006, 02:49 PM	#2 (permalink)
shatteredheartfallendream Groupie Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: A place called nowhere (in other words ask) Posts: 39	yea I edited it, it's coming along quite nicely I think. __________________ If you look into a mirror, holding a dozen roses, you will see 13 of the most beautiful things.

04-28-2006, 04:22 PM	#3 (permalink)
shatteredheartfallendream Groupie Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: A place called nowhere (in other words ask) Posts: 39	Anyone? (I'm spamming again ) __________________ If you look into a mirror, holding a dozen roses, you will see 13 of the most beautiful things.