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Old 01-21-2009, 02:28 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Old 01-24-2009, 06:04 PM   #2 (permalink)
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awesome. this are the best lyrics I've seen for a very long time. I can imagine this rapped easily (I don't know if you had any genre in mind when you wrote this). I love the topic and rhyming. If you keep going with this, you are gonna go somewhere.
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Old 01-24-2009, 09:38 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Well written. I like it. But there was on part I didn't like:

Quote:
We are the children.
Led to a pedophile.
I don't know why, but I felt like the song was leading in the right direction and then you brought up pedophiles and I was thrown off.

It was well-written. Did you have a certain genre of music in mind for these lyrics?
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Old 01-27-2009, 09:58 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Thanks for the comments. I've had mixed reactions over those lines. Some think it's brilliant, others just find it somewhat disturbing. I write both lyrics and riffs for almost every genre that involves a guitar, and sometimes I'll write some lyrics and I simply can't decide what it should sound like. I think that given the subject matter, it would almost have to be some variation of metal though. What do you think?
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Old 01-27-2009, 01:30 PM   #5 (permalink)
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enjoyed the poem... switched between dark and light... enjoyed the rhyming and flow...
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Old 01-27-2009, 04:28 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Y'know. It tries to be badass but it just isn't. It's bare, too... it's just not my thing, no. Thumbs down.

And... dude, c'mon. Anarchists don't rhyme like that.
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Old 01-28-2009, 01:30 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I write lyrics to match riffs that I create, simple as that. Which of course means that I write MUSIC and try to make my lyrics fit in certain time patterns. I could sit around all day long and write random **** that doesn't rhyme, and more often than not, doesn't even make sense and call it a "poem" or even go as far as to call it "lyrics", and get nowhere fast. Funny thing is, I just described your work perfectly in that last sentence. Also, by saying "anarchists don't rhyme like that", that tells me that you're a poser who likes to act like he's the baddest mother****er on the block because you're "too hardcore" to actually rhyme in your material. But afterall, that's not a matter of being "too hardcore" is it? No, that's more of a matter of just simply being untalented. I don't TRY to be anything, but judging from your stereotyping, I would certainly say that you do. I try to create something fresh and new, that still sounds good everytime I write anything, even if it's on a subject that's been done before. I can handle criticism, but until you provide something better(and you haven't done that), you've got no room to talk.
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Old 01-28-2009, 08:00 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Well your right about one thing - I don't write music, but that doesn't make my work bad, it just makes it different. My stuff makes sense to me, and that's all that matters (to me - the "audience" shouldn't matter). I'm not a poser, or anything for that matter - I'm nothing at all in fact. It just that I think rhyming is "cute". And I frown on cute. One can rhyme cleverly, but in my opinion you haven't here. I've got all the room in the world to talk because I'm here and you're there I have my opinion and you certainly have yours. So sorry I'm not creaming over your ****ty work like everyone else in this thread.

/honesty people don't like to hear.

Anyone else hear egos shattering?
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Old 01-28-2009, 10:46 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wifey Boozer View Post
Well your right about one thing - I don't write music, but that doesn't make my work bad, it just makes it different. My stuff makes sense to me, and that's all that matters (to me - the "audience" shouldn't matter). I'm not a poser, or anything for that matter - I'm nothing at all in fact. It just that I think rhyming is "cute". And I frown on cute. One can rhyme cleverly, but in my opinion you haven't here. I've got all the room in the world to talk because I'm here and you're there I have my opinion and you certainly have yours. So sorry I'm not creaming over your ****ty work like everyone else in this thread.

/honesty people don't like to hear.

Anyone else hear egos shattering?



Again, anybody can write random sentences with absolutely no sense of structure or pattern and call it a "poem" or "lyrics". And to me, that's "cute" because everytime I read one I can't help but think, "Do people actually enjoy reading this trash?" "I think rhyming is cute, and I frown on cute." Translation: "I'm too hardcore for that. I really hope that everyone buys into this image that I'm trying to portray, because I want to be known as the most hardcore mother****er on the block, although I'm oblivious to the fact that in the process of trying to do so, I will show my lack of intellect among other things." Like I said though, I can handle criticism very well. If you would've said what you said, but left out the part of "anarchists don't rhyme like that", then my response would've been entirely different, I assure you. But after that statement, I know that you're without a doubt a poser. Whenever I first wrote this, I didn't expect everyone to adore it. And some certainly haven't, but atleast they provided a little constructive criticism and didn't stereotype me. Lyrics can mean alot of different things to different people. Also, I never claimed to be an "anarchist", because anarchy is simply another ridiculous, mindless trend nowadays. Not to mention the fact that it could never work. And to answer your question...I don't hear anything at all. In fact, it's so silent in here that I could hear a pin drop and I think that most would agree. In order to "shatter an ego", you would have to make a valid point, and not just an assumption. Once again, you have failed.
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Old 01-28-2009, 01:41 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Whose tryin' to be a bad mother****er now?

What am I "posing" to be then? Because I'm not familiar with anything here that draws my attraction.

This "trash"? Honey... ever hear of Walt Whitman? Beat poetry? Allen Ginsberg has pontificated that Whitman gave poets world permission to speak in candor - unstructured, a profound thing in a simple way. Charles Bukowski (my personal favorite, who didn't like to call himself a beat poet) said, "art may be the ability to say a profound thing in a simply way." If I'm trying to do anything, that's all it is. You getting defensive over me having a sense of bitter, dry humor says more about your "posing" than it does my apparent "posing". I find you ridiculous and over-the-top dramatic. But that's just my opinion.

As for the rhyming... ****, son. It's not like I've never rhymed before in my life, I just don't prefer it to not-rhyming. It's a personal preferance - why do you have trouble accepting one opinion over yours?

Re: Anarchy

Who ever said anarchy had to be a violent, cliched, trendy thing?

I have failed? In order for me to have failed, we'd actually have to be talking about something that holds just the tiniest amount of significance in real life. My deepest sympathies.


PS: You remind me of one of those trendy Ian Mackaye followers. Don't try so hard.

Or in the words of Buk, just Don't Try.
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