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Old 04-20-2009, 01:49 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default daysleeper1985's Songwriting Journal

Thisbes' scarf lies left of center.

Abandoning the years I will raise the waters,
Drink from walls of tears
And bury hatchets deep in all the woods of pine
To lie bereft of all desire,with adonis
To control what is not mine.

Muted minions
Sidetrack to cover roars beyond the lions reach!
All mirrors and dawns now reflect a desperate yellow,
For the grains of time drip carelessly,
Thriving to cover both bone and marrow.

Within the cavern sits venus-
Scratching thin skinned leeches for they have sucked deep
To seep the succulence of youth from the trickles of temptation,
Extracting subtle silver shines of truth.

Last edited by daysleeper1985; 04-20-2009 at 01:58 PM.
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Old 04-23-2009, 03:56 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default A quick dip into songwriting...help lol!

Not my usual medium but variety is the spice of life afterall, also guess this is more lyricism than song writing,but you get the idea i'm sure,words for music....any advice/opinions/slanderous coments appreciated

Paradise auction

When you were in paradise,
lost or found,
and the highest house hyacinth reflected summer-
did you ever look at the price?
did you even notice the jazzband drummer?

He played your life in a sixty cent promise
He rattled you off in a wrist shake destiny-

feel it
catch it
play it

sundown hotel,crazy neopryn spider wall drenched to death-
sold, highest bidder! forty two and o...oh oh oh
sing it to me- sing it in your faded bathroom voice-
where have you disappeared to?
paradise lost and found!

someone called your bluff,
she called your heart and raised you hers,
out here the jazzband plays a different song-
immaculate and succulent- the leeches leech life...

did you ever look at the price?

feel it,
catch it,
pay it,

notice the jazzband drumboy

feel him,
roll with him,
breathe him.

But notice her.

Last edited by daysleeper1985; 04-23-2009 at 04:04 AM.
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Old 04-23-2009, 06:32 AM   #3 (permalink)
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not bad, keep on doin what ya do.
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Old 04-23-2009, 06:37 AM   #4 (permalink)
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whoa, very impressed. is this metal though?
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Old 04-25-2009, 05:47 PM   #5 (permalink)
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written as a poem but i can see where your coming from,never thought of it as a lyric
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Old 04-26-2009, 03:10 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Difficult to write, but getting there

Guess I've been mulling over this for about three years now and it seems to be getting there, still lacks a definitive direction but i'm begginning to think there inlies a beautiful dissonance that can't be found by searching (perhaps that qualifies as blissfull ignorance but I won't apologise!!)


Drowning Beyond The Cities Flood


A wounded scene plays out
In front of this nightime serenade,
And amongst the cities lights
Memories of starlight begin to fade,
Merging and multipliying behind
The road that I now travel-
A child beyond the realms of understanding;
An expert of the parallel.

"Broken by the passing feet"
Tethered and trenched,
While all around me sinking down
Into tempers stained glass windows.
Lost within and weary, a transient-drown;
Below her eighteenth century flood,
The great escape begins, a lonely river flows.

Last edited by daysleeper1985; 04-26-2009 at 03:17 AM.
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Old 04-28-2009, 04:53 PM   #7 (permalink)
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many thanks, will do
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Old 04-28-2009, 05:11 PM   #8 (permalink)
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ha, I imagine this being sung in sort of a mars volta-ish way, but more poppy.
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Old 04-28-2009, 11:11 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I like the imagery, but I'm not keen on the repetitive three liner.
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Old 04-29-2009, 03:15 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Veridical Fiction View Post
I like the imagery, but I'm not keen on the repetitive three liner.
yeah i guess i tried a bit too hard to get away from a poetic form and threw it in there without any serious amount of thought...was listening to alot of rory gallagher and james brown hen i was writing this so if you can try to merge the soulful blues guitarism that is rory with the crazed soulful blues that is james browns voice then you get a vague idea of how i could imagine this being played but it is the sort of lyric that could be done in many styles i feel...cheers for the feedback
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