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Old 11-26-2010, 06:19 PM   #1 (permalink)
Groupie
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2
Default Couple of my songs i have wrote (lyrics)

hey here is all the songs i have wrote in the last 2 months, C&C please and thanks. i am 14 and play mostly Metal / Death core,

punishment.
OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!



Fire raining from the sky

my mind dissolving

Whats going on?

whats happening?



This worlds done

Ever Changed

Folding in

Burning up



You idiots!

You did this!

Its your fault!

Now you will be punished!



Fire raining from the sky

My mind dissolving

Whats going on

whats happening



You Fools!

What have you done?

You will be punished

The ground dissolving beneath you



Fall to your death!

This is a symbol

this is your punishment

Fall into the flames



This worlds done

Ever Changed

Folding in

Burning up



The water steaming

Heating up

Burning for eternity

This is your punishment



You idiots!

You did this!

What now?

Whatr you gonna do?



Your death awaits you !

Betrayal
Your hero of so long
the inspiration of so many
how could you?
your betrayal caused so many pain

How could you do this?
how could you pull the trigger?
the smoking barrel in hand
how could you kill him?

your hero of so long
the inspiration of so many
A bullet in the back
your the cause

your the reason
your betrayal
your the reason
you pulled the trigger

the gun in hand
the smoking barrel
a bullet in the back
the legend of a generation

The smoking gun in hand
the hero of so many
shot in the back
your betrayal


knockout
your blood on the ground
your head on the floor
your reputation done
your gonna regret this

Your gone
no where to be seen
one of us i out
who will it be?

stepping out
preparing for the brawl
your time has come
your knocked out

everyone gathering around
placing there bets
its happening here and now
who's it going to be

who is it
who will step up
your last chance
your going down

one of us is done
one of us is gone
our reputation is finished
it happens here

Reasons Unknown
Your body laying cold
misunderstood personality
gone to reasons unknown
this must be a trick

the beat of your music
the greatest of your kind
the inspiration of us all
the musician of life

your energy shown
power in your beats
walking the streets
judged by your looks

misunderstood
this must be a trick
loved by so many
gone to reasons unknown

the inspiration of us all
the beat of life
your energy shown to all
walking the streets

judged by your looks
misunderstood
loved by so many
gone to reasons unknown

War
family's left behind
troops out fighting
so you can live free
risking there life

the fight for your rights
they are risking there life
so you can have yours
this is a war for freedom

soldiers dieing
leaving there family's
your rights protected
because they risk there life

gun shots ringing
bullets flying
risking there life
for your right to live

war raging
people dieing
blame them
greedy ********

Sending your sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers
to fight for greed
to fight for your rights
they risk there life

fighting in all directions never knowing
whats around every corner
loved one's not knowing
if they are coming back

family's left for months
to risk there life
in a war for greed
in a war for freedom

Loner
Always Quiet
hiding in the shadows
always out to the side
never in the crowd

today is his day
to show himself
to stop being a loner
no one sees him there

never notices him
hes different
hes quiet
today is his day

to prove himself
to not be a loner
always quiet
always hiding in the shadows

never seen
never heard
today is his day
to prove himself

to show who he is
to show what he can do
he will be heard
people will see him

he will no longer be a
loner

Nightmare
Hidden in your mind
your fears everywhere
battling to take over
This is a nightmare

Ready to take over your thoughts
hidden in your mind
your greatest fears
fighting against you

demons of your mind
confronting you
always there
showing themselves in your sleep

Hidden
waiting for you to sleep
plotting there attack
preparing to take over

confront them
show them you aren't afraid
prove can conquer them
END THIS!

hidden in your mind
your fears everywhere
battling to take over
this is your nightmare

Hidden
waiting for you to sleep
plotting there attack
preparing to take over

Be prepared
attack back
destroy them
end this

END this ******* nightmare!!
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Old 11-26-2010, 07:46 PM   #2 (permalink)
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These are okay for metalcore, though you should try something more original. Try to go a little outside of your comfort zone and you may surprise yourself. Keep writing, friend.
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Old 11-28-2010, 06:22 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I can hear the metal behind all of the lyrics. If you have access to some guitars and drums I'd definitely record some of it.
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