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Old 05-24-2005, 03:16 AM   #1 (permalink)
Groupie
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: In the back of your head....
Posts: 2
Default I Want To

this is my first set of lyrics posted here...reviews etc please...

I Want To

What is it that I’m living for,
I don’t think I’ll breathe anymore,
Is life this bad or is just me,
Push my fingers into my eyes so I don’t see,
All the things that break my heart,

I want to bleed,
I want to scream,
I want to die,
I want to…

Kinda feel like I’m okay,
Satisfied I’ve got my way,
I’ve killed the life in my heart,
And now I stay in the dark,
So I can feel this hate,

I want to bleed,
I want to scream,
I want to die,
I want to…

I want to…
I want to…
Bleed,
I want to…
I want to…
Scream,
I want to…
I want to…
Die,

I want to bleed,
I want to scream,
I want to die,
I want to…

My life is a joke to you,
Stopped being happy and bled right through,
I won’t let me control my soul,
My head is like a hole,
And now I’ve reached the bottom,

I want to bleed,
I want to scream,
I want to die,
I want to.
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Old 05-24-2005, 03:22 PM   #2 (permalink)
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those are so clique... and unoriginal
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Old 05-24-2005, 05:44 PM   #3 (permalink)
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not horrible....but as everyone who posts on here will say: its been done before. the lyrics are also too simple for my taste, there isnt enough content. with your next song, try to make a little more of a story (if you take my meaning), rather than just talking about how much someone hates you, or saying "i want to die". people go for songs, not three and a half minutes of talking about how you want to kill yourself.
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How'd I end up here to begin with? I don't know.
Why do I start what I can't finish?
Oh please, don't barrage me with questions to all those ugly answers.
My ego's like my stomach- it keeps shitting what I feed it.
But maybe I don't want to finish anything anymore..
maybe I can wait in bed 'til she comes home. and whispers....

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Old 05-24-2005, 07:18 PM   #4 (permalink)
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^
That depends if you talk about suicide in an interesting manner.

Like...
Look on the bright side suicide
Lost eye-sight I'm on your side
Angel left wing, right wing, broken wing.
Lack of iron and/or sleeping.... nice, beautiful.

Umm, your poem Heart of Nails is cliched A LITTLE....lol.
I think it's just that teenage-angst phase.
Be a little more creative, you can do it.
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Old 05-25-2005, 07:43 AM   #5 (permalink)
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i myself think they were pretty corny/lame. im just not into music like that
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