Red And White. Good...average...really crap? (lyrics, vocalist, songs) - Music Banter Music Banter

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Old 07-26-2005, 04:34 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Red And White. Good...average...really crap?

Thom sings this one...damn him (it sounds better with his voice, but I'm still going to strop). I wrote the lyrics though and the main riff, so you know... Let me know what you think, this one is a bit odd.


Red and white,
Red and white,
It must do something,
It must do something,

Borders and crossings,
Borders and crossings,
Mark where I can not go,
Mark where I can not go.

On routing I depend,
On routing I depend.

2, 3, 4...

These same old streets,
These same old streets,
That glow in the night,
That shimmer in the light.

But I miss you,
Yeah, I miss you.
The c and f,
The c and f.

On routing I depend,
On routing I depend.

My home is a safe,
Comfortable but restrictive pace,
My home is a safe,
Comfortable but restrictive pace,
My home is a safe,
Comfortable but restrictive pace,
My home is a safe,
Comfortable but restrictive pace,

On routing I depend,
On routing I depend,
On routing I depend…



Sshhh, just because I'm odd... >_<
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Old 07-27-2005, 09:45 AM   #2 (permalink)
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don't repeat, might work
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Old 07-27-2005, 10:21 AM   #3 (permalink)
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the repeating could work well if you have 2 vocalists harmonizing going back and forth
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Old 07-28-2005, 06:43 PM   #4 (permalink)
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yeah thats not a bad idea Fenix but in moderation. If you did it that way (2 voices) and did it for the whole song, it would come off as a gimmick. Don't focus on rhyming or anything, get a melody and make it stick to that, no matter what you say it will come off alot more, "authentic" than if your force rhyme or in this case repeat. I don't think thats definitly what you were going for, but in case it was...
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Old 07-29-2005, 07:35 PM   #5 (permalink)
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the repitition was grating.

i like spazzy songs and this has the potential to be cool, but seriously, like Big said, drop almost all that repetition
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