Granted, but skating is a federal offense punishable by death.

Granted, you get stuck in them every time, though.

I wish Crunkcore wasn't so godawful.

Granted, everyone's deaf including you

I wish Briks would have made a wish.

Granted, but you still can't see it.

I wish I got paid to play video games.

Granted, but he wished for you to have a penis for a nose.

http://couchcutter.com/wp-content/up...nmqo1_5001.png

I wish I could fart money.

Edit: Dam... too slow...

Granted, but the only video game you get to play is the text version of Leisure Suit Larry.

I wish I could fart money.

Granted, but only these come out:

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/image...coin_still.jpg

I wish I owned the iTunes store.

Granted, but you go bankrupt

I wish Varg Vikernes was a nice person who liked nice things, like not murdering people

Granted. He likes men. Specifically, you.

I wish cigarettes were made of the same ingredients, manufactured in the same way, smoked the same, and cost the same, but had none of the health risks.

Granted, but you are poor and can't afford them, so you start selling your body for cig money and contract a deadly STD.

I wish all the worlds drinking fountains had beer instead of water coming out of em.

Granted. They pour forth with Milwaukee's Beast.

I wish I could sing like Freddie Mercury.