The coming out thread - Take II

Thom Yorke · 02-10-2012, 05:47 PM

There are a lot of ways to look at sexuality, and it's a very complex topic, but I think most people look at it on a sliding scale. Looking at it this way, it's quite normal to not be exclusively homosexual or heterosexual. I know the most famous study, the Kinsey study, showed that about half of the males tested had reacted sexually to both sexes in their adult life. I'm not really sure what "reacted" means in this case, however.

As for Odyshape, nothing you were describing was sexual.

OOS · 03-06-2012, 10:43 AM

So, I know that I don't post here incredibly often, but I feel that I might as well make a contribution to this thread.

So, I figured out that I was gay not too long ago. Before that I had been in denial for several years, trying to force myself to be straight, but it never felt right. Eventually, through a combination of various factors, I realized that I was actually attracted to men and stopped hiding from myself. That was...half a year ago? Maybe more? I can't really remember when the exact time was that I "knew", it was more of a gradual process.

In any case, I kept it to myself for a while; I had never been one to discuss sex with people (mostly due to my insecurities with regards to my own preferences), and I wasn't (and still am not) looking to date, so it was fairly easy. Eventually, though, I came out to a few friends, who took it exceedingly well. With the prospect of university coming up soon, though, I feel that soon i'll probably have to come out to my other friends and family, because I do want to start looking into having an actual relationship, but I have no interest in trying to hide it from everyone (and I imagine that with facebook and all that now it would come out on its own sooner rather than later).

My worry now though is that certain people will ostracize me completely in my family. We've never had a homosexual, and it's not a topic that ever really comes up, so I don't know for sure how a lot of them feel. Still, i'll have to bite the bullet at some point. Any pointers on how to broach this subject from those who have done it before?

Salami · 03-06-2012, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OOS

So, I know that I don't post here incredibly often, but I feel that I might as well make a contribution to this thread.

So, I figured out that I was gay not too long ago. Before that I had been in denial for several years, trying to force myself to be straight, but it never felt right. Eventually, through a combination of various factors, I realized that I was actually attracted to men and stopped hiding from myself. That was...half a year ago? Maybe more? I can't really remember when the exact time was that I "knew", it was more of a gradual process.

In any case, I kept it to myself for a while; I had never been one to discuss sex with people (mostly due to my insecurities with regards to my own preferences), and I wasn't (and still am not) looking to date, so it was fairly easy. Eventually, though, I came out to a few friends, who took it exceedingly well. With the prospect of university coming up soon, though, I feel that soon i'll probably have to come out to my other friends and family, because I do want to start looking into having an actual relationship, but I have no interest in trying to hide it from everyone (and I imagine that with facebook and all that now it would come out on its own sooner rather than later).

My worry now though is that certain people will ostracize me completely in my family. We've never had a homosexual, and it's not a topic that ever really comes up, so I don't know for sure how a lot of them feel. Still, i'll have to bite the bullet at some point. Any pointers on how to broach this subject from those who have done it before?

It's absolutely fantastic that you've done this, and thanks for sharing it with us! In regards to the way your family will see you, what you ought to find is that they love you as a person, and usually shouldn't be particularly hostile to you.

It's about not just about confidence, it's that you've found out something else about yourself, which is nothing to be ashamed of. Hopefully your family will understand!

I wish you the best of luck!

Dayvan Cowboy · 03-06-2012, 12:59 PM

I know you guys are going to undoubtedly call bull**** on me but I think I might be bisexual. I've had crushes on girls, I'm turned on by girls and I would certainly date a girl. I just hate announcing this fact because I might get made fun of or told I'm only saying that for attention.

Above · 03-06-2012, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dayvan Cowboy

I know you guys are going to undoubtedly call bull**** on me but I think I might be bisexual. I've had crushes on girls, I'm turned on by girls and I would certainly date a girl. I just hate announcing this fact because I might get made fun of or told I'm only saying that for attention.

A lot of bi girls get accused of that, but I believe you. What's also annoying is that some people think that bisexuality is a myth; that bisexuals are just gay people in denial or some other equally stupid belief.

Salami · 03-07-2012, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dayvan Cowboy

I know you guys are going to undoubtedly call bull**** on me but I think I might be bisexual. I've had crushes on girls, I'm turned on by girls and I would certainly date a girl. I just hate announcing this fact because I might get made fun of or told I'm only saying that for attention.

If it helps at all, I feel exactly the same although I'm male.
I'm not calling bullshit or anything, I think it's perfectly reasonable and something I'm equally uneasy about.

OOS · 03-07-2012, 11:04 AM

I definitely subscribe to the idea that bisexuality is real; sure, there may be some that just don't want to admit that they're gay, but I see no reason why someone shouldn't be attracted to both sexes.

Salami · 03-07-2012, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OOS

I definitely subscribe to the idea that bisexuality is real; sure, there may be some that just don't want to admit that they're gay, but I see no reason why someone shouldn't be attracted to both sexes.

Well, so far we have had Dayvan Cowboy, Odyshape, Doctor Soft, Il Duce, Above and myself at least say that we either are or think we are bisexual.

You can't really just dismiss it, I suppose.

Unknown Soldier · 03-07-2012, 02:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Salami

Well, so far we have had Dayvan Cowboy, Odyshape, Doctor Soft, Il Duce and myself at least say that we either are or think we are bisexual.

You can't really just dismiss it, I suppose.

Bunch of homos

~~James~~ · 03-07-2012, 02:58 PM

I've considered it myself. The way I see it, with the amount of "mancrushes" and "girlcrushes" about, a huge amount of people are at least a little bi-curious.

02-10-2012, 05:47 PM	#51 (permalink)
Thom Yorke Music Addict Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 1,848	There are a lot of ways to look at sexuality, and it's a very complex topic, but I think most people look at it on a sliding scale. Looking at it this way, it's quite normal to not be exclusively homosexual or heterosexual. I know the most famous study, the Kinsey study, showed that about half of the males tested had reacted sexually to both sexes in their adult life. I'm not really sure what "reacted" means in this case, however. As for Odyshape, nothing you were describing was sexual.

03-06-2012, 10:43 AM	#52 (permalink)
OOS Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 124	So, I know that I don't post here incredibly often, but I feel that I might as well make a contribution to this thread. So, I figured out that I was gay not too long ago. Before that I had been in denial for several years, trying to force myself to be straight, but it never felt right. Eventually, through a combination of various factors, I realized that I was actually attracted to men and stopped hiding from myself. That was...half a year ago? Maybe more? I can't really remember when the exact time was that I "knew", it was more of a gradual process. In any case, I kept it to myself for a while; I had never been one to discuss sex with people (mostly due to my insecurities with regards to my own preferences), and I wasn't (and still am not) looking to date, so it was fairly easy. Eventually, though, I came out to a few friends, who took it exceedingly well. With the prospect of university coming up soon, though, I feel that soon i'll probably have to come out to my other friends and family, because I do want to start looking into having an actual relationship, but I have no interest in trying to hide it from everyone (and I imagine that with facebook and all that now it would come out on its own sooner rather than later). My worry now though is that certain people will ostracize me completely in my family. We've never had a homosexual, and it's not a topic that ever really comes up, so I don't know for sure how a lot of them feel. Still, i'll have to bite the bullet at some point. Any pointers on how to broach this subject from those who have done it before?

03-06-2012, 12:59 PM	#54 (permalink)
Dayvan Cowboy Basscadet Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Antarctica Posts: 1,258	I know you guys are going to undoubtedly call bull**** on me but I think I might be bisexual. I've had crushes on girls, I'm turned on by girls and I would certainly date a girl. I just hate announcing this fact because I might get made fun of or told I'm only saying that for attention.

03-07-2012, 11:04 AM	#57 (permalink)
OOS Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 124	I definitely subscribe to the idea that bisexuality is real; sure, there may be some that just don't want to admit that they're gay, but I see no reason why someone shouldn't be attracted to both sexes.

03-07-2012, 02:58 PM	#60 (permalink)
~~James~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Scotland Posts: 4,483	I've considered it myself. The way I see it, with the amount of "mancrushes" and "girlcrushes" about, a huge amount of people are at least a little bi-curious.