Originally Posted by The Batlord (Post 1819885)

TFW you wish you could be that guy who goes to work stoned but you wouldn't be functional and they'd fire you in ten minutes.

Originally Posted by Frownland (Post 1819886)

I'm stoned so often that being sober makes me less functional.

Originally Posted by Frownland (Post 1819886)

Are you just a lightweight who can't handle it or is there some kind of crazy science involved in making sandwiches?

I'm stoned so often that being sober makes me less functional.

Originally Posted by Frownland (Post 1819912)

So you're a noob, got it. That's not a bad thing btw, it's a lot more fiscally sensible.

Originally Posted by The Batlord (Post 1819870)

TFW you're drunk on your bike going home with more beer and you see a guy you're kinda friends with and make plans to hang out later and you're supposed to text him when you get home, but now you're like, "Why did I make plans when I just wanna chill at home drunk?"

This dude better be awesome when I'm wasted.

Originally Posted by The Batlord (Post 1819941)

TFW the guy you didn't want to hang out with in the first place flakes on you. Score.

Originally Posted by Overcast (Post 1819984)

TFW you've been so bored out of your skin for days and nothing appeals to you or brings you any pleasure and all you can do is listen to subtle dark ambient music and stare at the ceiling because it's better than silence and once you get some alcohol suddenly everything in the universe seems like the best thing ever and you want to do everything but you know it's gonna wear off so you find it hard to enjoy the moment even still and get fixated on every little thought of the future and come back to consciousness 30 minutes down a thought trail and realize you could have been having fun but instead you just did an even more boring version of what you do when you're sober, absolutely nothing. Even the most boring trivial things suddenly become something important that you can get sucked into, and I could possibly use this to my advantage but I should probably steer clear for now and become a dumbass because I could use some freedom from my brain.

TFW it rained for a few minutes and I missed it typing that.

TFW I realize it's better to turn my brain off and let my sober brain deal with whatever I dealt it in the morning as a miserable bastard.

Originally Posted by The Batlord (Post 1819987)

TFW drowning your brain out with noise is highly preferable.

Originally Posted by Nosferatu Man (Post 1820537)

that feeling when you've a munch on but there's no sight of a processed sugar treat in the cupboards

Originally Posted by The Batlord (Post 1820541)

Everything makes me want pizza now. :finger:

Originally Posted by The Batlord (Post 1820595)

I have a fat people problem.

Originally Posted by Chiomara (Post 1820622)

Tfw you step into an ant pile (interrupting your reverie) because, rather than walk on the sidewalk around the pond like all the other walkers, you had to instead climb over the fence and walk dramatically through the field toward the setting sun with your eyes closed and no shoes on (because 'Llorando' from Mulholland Drive on your playlist began playing which sent your already wistful, melancholic state into overdrive) and as a result you now have both blisters and ant bites all over your feet.

Originally Posted by The Batlord (Post 1820607)

I know what the Noid is. I was conscious when it was a thing.

Originally Posted by Man like Monkey (Post 1820861)

Tfw you are lying on the sofa and your cat jumps up to lie with you and does that thing with his paws where they knead and squashes your bollocks :(

Originally Posted by Trollheart (Post 1404747)

... you get out of the hospital. You feel bad for all the others still waiting to be seen, but hey, you're out!

... you snag the last CD/book/dress/ipad/pairof shoes/whatever in the shop

... the bus driver says "Next three only!" and you're the third person in line

... It's pissing rain and you have the day off work

... a show comes back on the TV you haven't seen in years

... your favourite band announce they're only playing a few dates, and your town is one of them!

... the bill arrives and it's MUCH less than you expected

... the bank makes an error in your favour

... you hear THE best album of the year

... you discover your new favourite band

... you're sure you bought something you really wanted/needed but can't find it, but then it's right at the bottom of the bag

... something long lost turns up

... the annoying canvasser/surveyor at your door turns out to be really cute

... your pet, who you thought was really sick, turns out not to be after all

Originally Posted by butthead aka 216 (Post 1404748)

...you jerk off and the shame of cyberin in a lesbian chat room with a fake profile fills your feels with shame and guilt

Originally Posted by JiggleMonster (Post 1820982)

seriously though...the batlord is not that cool..is she?