Why would I post that many words?

*shrug*

Why would you knowingly say something false?

Cause **** it close enough.

Pretty sure that would be the opposite of close.

Dogs sweat out of a very tiny portion of their body. Close enough to not sweating.

so that we don't point and yell "retard!" at you from the back of the class

I see.

You thought dogs sweat like people.

where did i say that?

don't blame me for your reading comprehension.

Nah you clearly did.

Everyone please continue arguing about dog sweat. "You thought dogs sweat like people" made me laugh deliriously for a good 30 seconds.

You thought dogs didn't sweat.

Do churches sweat in dogs?

Do dogs sweat in whores?

I knew the truth. But succincted it.

i

What did you do to my post that only "But" is capitalized?

n

TFW you get home after work and ask yourself, "Should I take a shower or just collapse into bed and spend the next 4-6 hours marinating in my own filth?"

I shower 2 to 6 times a day.

I hate morning showers. Showers are awesome after a long day of filthy work.

Gross.

Being a newly crowned bachelor living in a van down by the river, and pretty much having no job or social life at the moment, I shower maybe every 3-4 days. (I do freshen up daily so hold back on the revulsion).

Took a nice long hot one this morning.

Beyond words.

(also did laundry)

Life = good.

Ideal shower conditions:

-No light on, only lamp light/candle
-A storm outside
-Rebekah Del Rio's "Llorando" blaring on repeat
-A bathtub large enough to comfortably lie down in so that you can contemplate your latest life failures while scalding yourself for an hour

Laying down in the shower is incredibly underrated.

Cold af.

Yessssssssssssss do you pretend you're in a waterfall too?

Laying down what or whom?

Mad at myself for not catching that.

Hygienic operatives are still somewhat imperative...

tfw it’s inventory day and you should be at home drinking too much coffee and playing far cry 5 but instead you’re working

TFW you drunkenly fall asleep listening to Lustmord and now your hangover has a distinctly lovecraftian vibe.

TFW you're watching porn and jerking it and the girl starts calling the dude daddy.

https://media1.tenor.com/images/ed84...itemid=5025947

tfw you send one of them horror autocorrect messages you see when people have sent embarrassing things to family members.

So long as your mother reciprocated then it's still sexy.

TFW you touch your dick after chopping habaneros.

Tfw when someone re-purposes a meme you used not but a fortnight minus 13 days and a few hours ago. That's some good coincidental regurgitation.

TFW you spot that you wrote "there" instead of "their" on an article that's been posted for several months.

*commits seppuku*