I knew the truth. But succincted it.

i

What did you do to my post that only "But" is capitalized?

n

TFW you get home after work and ask yourself, "Should I take a shower or just collapse into bed and spend the next 4-6 hours marinating in my own filth?"

I shower 2 to 6 times a day.

I hate morning showers. Showers are awesome after a long day of filthy work.

Gross.

Being a newly crowned bachelor living in a van down by the river, and pretty much having no job or social life at the moment, I shower maybe every 3-4 days. (I do freshen up daily so hold back on the revulsion).

Took a nice long hot one this morning.

Beyond words.

(also did laundry)

Life = good.

Ideal shower conditions:

-No light on, only lamp light/candle
-A storm outside
-Rebekah Del Rio's "Llorando" blaring on repeat
-A bathtub large enough to comfortably lie down in so that you can contemplate your latest life failures while scalding yourself for an hour

Laying down in the shower is incredibly underrated.

Cold af.

Yessssssssssssss do you pretend you're in a waterfall too?

Laying down what or whom?

Mad at myself for not catching that.

Hygienic operatives are still somewhat imperative...

tfw it’s inventory day and you should be at home drinking too much coffee and playing far cry 5 but instead you’re working

TFW you drunkenly fall asleep listening to Lustmord and now your hangover has a distinctly lovecraftian vibe.

TFW you're watching porn and jerking it and the girl starts calling the dude daddy.

https://media1.tenor.com/images/ed84...itemid=5025947

tfw you send one of them horror autocorrect messages you see when people have sent embarrassing things to family members.

So long as your mother reciprocated then it's still sexy.

TFW you touch your dick after chopping habaneros.

Tfw when someone re-purposes a meme you used not but a fortnight minus 13 days and a few hours ago. That's some good coincidental regurgitation.

TFW you spot that you wrote "there" instead of "their" on an article that's been posted for several months.

*commits seppuku*

Show me. Wear is this atrocity?

TFW you post a hot diss and then see the thread's been updated but it was TH who responded.

TFW your fart reaks so bad that you trap it in a chair cushion and your ass can smell it.

Any of you ever feel like you might've figured out too many things?


Maybe I'm just arrogant and don't actually have a clue at all but lately I've been kicking myself for not heeding the advice of others and having pursued every possible solution instead of just chillin and not giving AF like the rest of the world seems to.

TFW you have a crush on a chick that's admittedly taller than you but it doesn't matter because you would chop that tree down if given the opportunity.

Except that she likes burly guys cause she doesn't want to **** toothpicks smaller than her?

If that's so true, then how have I been able to plow 3 chicks taller than me in the last 2 years? Riddle me that bitch.

*drives into a light pole*

You're tiny. Riddle solved.

These Mexican genes have treated me well.

TFW you realize it's hot as balls and now you don't understand how you could have been wearing pants.

Tfw plankton changes his avatar and I don't know if I'm comfortable with it.

Please choose a response from the following:

1. STFU
2. Let me know if you'd like me to change it. I mean, I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable or anything.
3. https://i.imgur.com/bykeu37.jpg