You get old and your eyebrows get like 7 inches long and hair starts sprouting out of you ears and your dick turns into a vagina.

I have this one rogue hair on the outside of my ear that'll get about 1-2 inches long if I forget about it for some time. It's messed up man, and it freaks me out.

When you get old your body gets unruly weeds.

For years I've had several of those on both of those little nubs that stick out over your earholes. They're basically invisible (or so I choose to believe) and get long and curly as **** in just a week or two.

Mines not invisible and I'm pretty sure no one lets me know about it and just laughs at me. I'm a freak. Look away.

Luckily mine are the purest blonde short of being actually clear and I don't even think I've ever noticed them in the mirror. I only realize they've gotten long by feeling for them. Hold on...

Nope, I'm good.

You have lovely ear hair.

Maybe a little around the sides too.

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net...97&oe=5F02CED0

...your left ear has been clogged for a couple of days and you finally go to look for some hydrogen peroxide only to find some 2 year old ear ear wax removal liquid but use it anyway and do a first test run that wasn't too bad so you do another one but really fill 'er up this time and give it a good squirt with warm water and a ****-ton of ear wax comes out and now EVERYTHING IS LOUD!

What kind of ear wax remover?

I'm not sure since it's at home and I am not right at the moment. It expired in 2018 but I was desperate. lol

It's like turning the treble all the way up.

...you post a comment on one of your favorite musicians posts and out of the hundred or so other comments you're the only one to get a like by said musician because you don't suck up to celebrity status's.

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/f3/45...eb85983d46.jpg

TFW someone is a bitch to you in an email so you're a cunt back and it's the highlight of your work week

https://media.giphy.com/media/555sTi...xsep/giphy.gif

TFW everyone is talking about someone that's killed themselves that they've known because you seem depressed. If anything, it makes me feel worse. I straight up told them they wouldn't know beforehand if I ever decide to, and to stop bringing that **** up.

Tfw it's too hot to wear your new favorite sweater from Aliexpress :c

https://i.imgur.com/9nWg8CW.png

Oh that is wonderful

Burn it.

No no that is a work of textile art

NO, it's wonderful. Aliexpress is amazing. I even found some sneakers with a picture of Mandy Moore stamped on the side. I ordered them too ofc.

And this hoodie, which came in yesterday:

https://i.imgur.com/2NP8LdL.png

https://i.imgur.com/AuHouGh.png

Back:
https://i.imgur.com/UeuvIlt.png

Another work of art.

Ok I've warmed up to China some

amazing.

Women.

dude you've heard my voice I'm hardly a woman

And you look so tiny. It's a weird match.

I know. I act like a 12 year old boy though, so in real life it makes more sense

TFW you're eating in a public bathroom and someone else's shit smell is like an off putting marinade.

It's where I work and sometimes when I get off work with my purloined food I also really need to take a **** so it is what it is.

:(

Like you've never eaten on the can.

Lol absolutely never

Currently sitting on the work toilet painting the bowl brown and still chewing a sausage, chicken, and bacon croissant with four pieces of cheese.

...you save 1 second by pressing 90 instead of 130 on the microwave.

https://i.gifer.com/8lR.gif

TFW you think that you're too cool to care about stigmas until you start shopping for a desk chair and don't want to be associated with gamers despite their ergonomic lookin chairs.

Those chairs are probably a scam tbh.

Tfw you check the fluids in your car and the coolant lid is missing.

Gang weed society time.

TFW you tell the clerk you want an eighth of the "g sharp sus 4" and they're like "you mean G number 4...?"

TFW you just want to find a secret or figure out how to do something in a video game so you go to a Youtube tutorial video that you hope will be concise and it opens with "HEY, EVERYBODY, THIS IS CHADBROGAMER69 BRINGING YOU ANOTHER VIDEO AND HERE'S MY LIFE STORY!!!"

Recipes too are cursed with overly long prefaces including life stories when you just want the ****ing ingredients and oven temp/time.